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Confronting those who badmouthed you behind your back?

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Jayo
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25 Sep 2020, 8:43 am

Have you guys ever confronted a "fake friend" or acquaintance or what-have-you who was superficially pleasant (or even gregarious) towards you, but then you discovered they'd badmouthed you behind your back?
If so, what was the reaction: denial, "yeah, what are you gonna do about it?", downplaying it, or other...?
I usually got the denial. Big surprise :(



emotrtkey
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25 Sep 2020, 8:49 am

Jayo wrote:
Have you guys ever confronted a "fake friend" or acquaintance or what-have-you who was superficially pleasant (or even gregarious) towards you, but then you discovered they'd badmouthed you behind your back?
If so, what was the reaction: denial, "yeah, what are you gonna do about it?", downplaying it, or other...?
I usually got the denial. Big surprise :(


Nope. Never had that happen to me. If you didn't actually hear it, the person may not have said it. Even if she did, why do you care what people say about you? It's not a big deal. I'd just ignore it.



Fnord
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25 Sep 2020, 8:50 am

I stopped confronting back-stabbers and started using their own methods against them.  Sure, it drags me down to their level, but it sure is gratifying to give them the same old, "Whaddaya gonna do abouddit?" line that they had previously given me.


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Fnord
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25 Sep 2020, 8:53 am

emotrtkey wrote:
Jayo wrote:
Have you guys ever confronted a "fake friend" or acquaintance or what-have-you who was superficially pleasant (or even gregarious) towards you, but then you discovered they'd badmouthed you behind your back? If so, what was the reaction: denial, "yeah, what are you gonna do about it?", downplaying it, or other...? I usually got the denial. Big surprise :(
Nope. Never had that happen to me. If you didn't actually hear it, the person may not have said it. Even if she did, why do you care what people say about you? It's not a big deal. I'd just ignore it.
"I never said that; and if I did, I didn't mean it; and if I did, you didn't understand it; and if you do, it's not a big deal; and if it is, Obama said worse." -- Donald J. Trump


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magz
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25 Sep 2020, 9:18 am

I say nothing, just stop trusting these people.


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green0star
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26 Sep 2020, 9:46 am

I did confront someone that was older then me that used to ride the bus with me and my mom did shut it down way back when. Otherwise I don't generally keep people in my life long enough for them to bad mouth me behind my back. My family is good for that but that's only to be expected when they already talk about each other for the most part.



Bustduster
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29 Sep 2020, 11:37 am

I've ghosted a few people for that. Would probably still do so if the same situation recurred.