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Padium
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27 Jan 2009, 4:28 pm

Has anyone tried to turn you into something you are not?

So many people have tried to make me normal, some by treating me like I was ODD, which I had been misdiagnosed with, others by trying to control me through other methods. All attempts have always failed though. I have had people try to corrupt me into being very perverse in my conversation, but that isn't who I am, so it would never happen. I have had people try to find my breaking point, an they have done that a few times with sucess.

So, let's here your stories.



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27 Jan 2009, 4:35 pm

Padium wrote:
Has anyone tried to turn you into something you are not?

So many people have tried to make me normal, some by treating me like I was ODD, which I had been misdiagnosed with, others by trying to control me through other methods. All attempts have always failed though. I have had people try to corrupt me into being very perverse in my conversation, but that isn't who I am, so it would never happen. I have had people try to find my breaking point, an they have done that a few times with sucess.

So, let's here your stories.
My parents used to force me to go to church and dress differently while attending. (Tight jeans, a polo shirt and dress shoes...) it was awful. Two whole hours I had to spend every week with a bunch of people who sang songs of the lord like robots programmed to do it, when they really didn't even believe in their god in the first place. Some of them were probably in the same situation as myself. I think my parents noticed a slight decrease in my positive behaviour, so they said you're going to church! While they sit in their comfy chairs with me out of the house. They weren't even religious...



Rainbow-Squirrel
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27 Jan 2009, 5:20 pm

Parents, relatives, friends, psych...



sunshower
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27 Jan 2009, 5:31 pm

When my parents used to force me to stop reading my books in a quiet corner during break times, and seek out other people and make friends by asking them questions like what they did on their holidays. I hated it, and all I wanted to do in my childhood years at school was read.

Now though, I do see why they did it and I am grateful they pushed me to improve my own situation.

More recently, it has been in the form of people telling me "you're normal, there's nothing different or special about you", and trying to twist my AS into some sort of conceit I have, or trying to tell me that I think I'm better and more unique/special than everybody else (which is completely untrue, I think everybody is equally special and different in their own way, which is why I hate the term "normal" full stop). Or like my very NT mum, who constantly (every time I open up about my internal conflicts) compares my situation to something she went through at some point (no matter how vaguely related), and says I am exactly the same as her/she was. Then again, I get equally annoying to her because of constantly loading my internal conflicts onto her shoulders too rather than just keeping it all to myself.


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gina-ghettoprincess
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27 Jan 2009, 5:34 pm

People try the "you're not different" thing on me too, I hate it. I can't exactly say, "Yeah I am, I have Asperger's Syndrome," cos that sounds like I'm making it up.


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27 Jan 2009, 6:47 pm

Well...I do have a dad that also doesn't beleve i'm an aspie, too...X_x;;; I may have mensioned it in an earlier post, though.


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pensieve
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27 Jan 2009, 6:54 pm

sunshower wrote:
Or like my very NT mum, who constantly (every time I open up about my internal conflicts) compares my situation to something she went through at some point (no matter how vaguely related), and says I am exactly the same as her/she was. Then again, I get equally annoying to her because of constantly loading my internal conflicts onto her shoulders too rather than just keeping it all to myself.

My mum is like that too. I find any NT I open up to tries to relate the issue back to themselves.

I was forced into a lot of thing too.

Going to church - singing the songs (I was a selective mute)
I still get forced to hang out with people
I got forced into going to college
I even got told to stop taking photos, which has got me further then ever.
The worse one is being forced to look for work when it's a fruitless effort.
I remember when I was younger and more tom boyish my mum really nagged me about wearing dresses.



buryuntime
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27 Jan 2009, 6:58 pm

I never really get forced into anything but even today my mother is telling me I need to get out of the house more. Doing what exactly... I have no idea.

I think she said that because I was mindlessly running around in circles, though.



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27 Jan 2009, 7:05 pm

Only damn near everybody.
My parents had a pretty good idea who they wanted me to be... that didn't work out so well. Finally, after many years, they gave up and just accept me.
My ex husband also wanted me to be quite different, that caused problems.



Padium
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27 Jan 2009, 7:10 pm

pensieve wrote:
I was forced into a lot of thing too.

I even got told to stop taking photos, which has got me further then ever.


I found that too with NTs, and because they think one aspect that they can relate to about AS makes it normal, becuase if that one aspect is normal, everything else must be, and therefore it is an odd collection of normal traits. Truth is it doesn't work that way.

And if photography is what you are good at and you find you could support yourself doing it, go all the way with it and never look back. Do what you can make money off of when it involves your interests, and hey, here's a bit of an idea, why not try freelance photography work, or sell columns to papers complete with photos, all while working on a personal portfolio.



JoJerome
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27 Jan 2009, 7:17 pm

zghost wrote:
Only damn near everybody.


Ditto here. Too many people and attempts to convert to list here.



pensieve
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27 Jan 2009, 10:00 pm

zghost wrote:
Only damn near everybody.
My parents had a pretty good idea who they wanted me to be... that didn't work out so well. Finally, after many years, they gave up and just accept me.
My ex husband also wanted me to be quite different, that caused problems.


My ex boyfriend wanted me to change, when he also needed to change to fix our relationship.
Both my parents wanted me to be working in IT and making loads of money like my half-brother did.



Who_Am_I
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27 Jan 2009, 10:02 pm

JoJerome wrote:
zghost wrote:
Only damn near everybody.


Ditto here. Too many people and attempts to convert to list here.


Ditto here too.

Every attempt failed. :)


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-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


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27 Jan 2009, 10:27 pm

people tell me "your too nice" "you need to toughen up" "tell them ____".

through the means of trail and error i find i get the most success from doing what i'm best at - being me



Padium
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27 Jan 2009, 10:30 pm

pensieve wrote:
zghost wrote:
Only damn near everybody.
My parents had a pretty good idea who they wanted me to be... that didn't work out so well. Finally, after many years, they gave up and just accept me.
My ex husband also wanted me to be quite different, that caused problems.


My ex boyfriend wanted me to change, when he also needed to change to fix our relationship.
Both my parents wanted me to be working in IT and making loads of money like my half-brother did.


I am studying computer science and I don't really want to be a programmer, but it pays well, and is closely related to what I want to do. What I really want to do is tech work. I want to fix computers and build them, and stuff like that, but it isn't as easy to do, or pay as well as CS. So I figure, do computer science for a bit, build the capital to start building my own business in which I do custom built PCs on a national level and computer repair on the same level, and run it completely online.



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27 Jan 2009, 11:09 pm

Padium wrote:
Has anyone tried to turn you into something you are not?
So, let's here your stories.

Yes, they have.
Here's my story:

Parents, of course. I was to be an academic scholar to a prestigious university. If not that, then a multifaceted professional athlete. Neither of those seemed to be working, so then they wanted to me just be normal and settle down with a nice Catholic girl. That didn't happen. Then they simply wanted me to get some kind of a higher education and land a job doing anything so that I could live on my own. Even that wasn't panning out. At that point I think they stopped trying.

Women I've been with. Every single one tried to make me be who they wanted, and not who I was. Once they got to know me, they were either scared away, or thought they could mold me into a different person. Emotional pain suffered by all involved parties. Eventually they stopped trying too.

ME. I've tried to turn me into many things I am not.
I thought that I would go to college to be a teacher.
"I am interested in lots of academic subjects. I should teach."
Made sense to me at the time.
Once I had invested years worth of my time and other people's money, and I actually got into classrooms and tried to teach, I began to realize with profound horror that I couldn't do it... I had panic attacks, I froze like a deer in headlights. I tried everything I could think of to cope. But I just screwed it all up.

It took me until about last year to realize what exactly it is that I can and should be.
I desperately want to make it happen. I just still have a lot of garbage to process from the previously mentioned attempts to make me something I'm not.


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