Does this sensory-related experience ever happen to you?

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When I was a kid, I was a full-blown textbook case Aspie. I also remember being in a very blissful, altered state of conciousness that is far unlike anything else I've experienced throughout my life...I was wondering if any of you can relate to this situation.

I lived constantly in this state ("euphoria" as I termed it) until I was twelve or so...for the longest time, I didn't know another world apart from it and considered this my reality. Gradually, my moments of euphoria became more fleeting and I became more attuned to the world and others...more "NT" so to speak. Nevertheless, I savoured those moments of bliss and aching for them when they went away. They would often appear as I travelled or had new experiences...a grade eight class trip being a notable example.

While in this state I had extreme reactions to sensory stimuli. Sounds, colours, visuals...and especially smells would control me. I would be "caught up in the moment" and unable to remove myself from it to interact with the world. Certain things and objects would captivate me, particularily those in a series (This was a common theme in my special interests) but never people. I also had strong synaesthesia...for example, I was able to taste shapes, clours and assign colours or patterns to different names/situations.

I had a very vivid imagination while in this state as well. I could deny all reality and imagine a given place as somewhere else...or make an entirely new one, with ease. During my preteen years, I'd absorb myself in my music tapes/cds, imagining elaborate music videos or being in clubs or malls.

I remember trying to document this feeling of excitement through words and images and finding it very hard to do so. It was far too disconnected from what the comparably numb real world experienced. I remember having a meltdown during the class trip when my euphoria disappeared and not being able to tell anyone what was wrong...I thought no one would believe it.

I asked my mom about it, as she has always been the best judge of me and my behaviour, and she dismissed it as simply daydreaming. However, I do believe that it's something more.

Today, this feeling only happens when a) I'm drunk or b) I'm in REM sleep. When I'm drunk I can only identify with the heightened sensory perceptions. It is the dream state when I have full-on euphoria. The odd time after I've had a particularly good dream, this feeling will last an hour or so into my waking hours. It's kind of discouraging since after I wake up, I'm usually pushed into the world of work and school, where there is no place for such states. Thus, they tend to fade rather quickly.

The last time I ever had it (while not in an altered state of conciousness) was at 16...but I'm sure there are others who experience it, perhaps into adulthood.

I'm looking for some opinions on this...can any of you identify with it? Is this common among Aspies?

I had that weird sensory bliss a great deal as a young child, though it rarely occurs now. The vivid imagination however remains.

No, I can't relate at all.
But I do want to know more.
I just don't know what to ask.

Please keep talking. Maybe something will sink in.

oh, I understand! I am a unmitigated bliss ninny! I can get into a mood and I am zoned back to being that little Aspie kid again. Matter of fact, just a week before I learned about Asperger's I was boppin' down the hall at work and just had a thought of "I wonder why I never grew up?"



Merle

Dude! If I know what you're talking about.... I know exactly what you're talking about!

well... not exactly....

When I was really young I would experiment and put myself into what I would call euphoric states. Mine personally were triggered by watching someone concentrate. I sat next to this girl in first grade and I would watch her sound out the words with her lips and point at them with her finger and this amazing (almost orgasmic) feeling of tingling pleasure would start at the top of my head and go all the way down throughout my whole body. This would also happen if I heard people speaking softly, mostly if they were listing off things (example "number twenty one..... A.........number twenty two.......B") with lots of space in between in a soft, concentrated voice. I can still do it today but it requires a lot more preparation and it has to be the right setting... when you're an adult you can't exactly just sit and listen to someone talk without them thinking you're a creep.

Merle, you're lucky you get to bliss out all the time!

I get euphoric from a particular quality of light or certain colors of pink (!), but it is usually either along with deja vu or highly evocative of certain random memories I might not have thought about for years. Also get it from traveling and new experiences, which is the only thing that does it for me as strongly as an adult. I didn't notice my synaesthesia was more intense in the exact moment, but I think it was around those times because my thinking was highly associative.

I once had such an experience in an Israeli nightclub, when I went to Israel for vacation. Before going out, I had a few shots of Absinthe* (see below). It's an alcoholic beverage (67% alcohol) that contains thujone, a chemical in wormwood that gives you mild hallucinations. (I would describe them as more psychological than physical.) By time time I arrived to the club, the Absinthe I drank kicked in full force. Everything looked more-or-less normal. However, colors looked unnaturally vivid (think of any Van Gogh painting to get a visual image). The music in the club (techno mostly, with remixes of Israeli folk songs) completely took over my mind, and I felt like I became one with the beat. I ended up dancing with a girl at one point. She was dancing really close (kind of like a hug, not slu*ty at all), and the sensation, combined with the music and flashing lights, was amazing. It all felt like I was transported to year 3000, and was enjoying the sensory experience of the future. At the same time, it reminded me of how the world around me looked like when I was a kid, except this time, it was pleasurable and ethereal, instead of scary and foreboding. At the end of the night, when me and my friends compared notes, I actually had the best experience in the group. It's been years since that night, and I still smile when I look back on it.

*Note on Absinthe.
In most parts of the world, Absinthe is produced with little or no thujone (government regulations, you know), so the hallucinations from it will be quite limited. But there are countries where that's not the case. And I know there will be people who might accuse me of promoting drug use, so here's a disclaimer: This is simply a description of what's out there, no different than the one on a government site.

I have never got the bliss feeling like that. In fact I rarely feel blissful. I have an anxiety disorder and that kind of stops that emotion from happening.

I can get into hypomania effortlessly though. It can be kind of fun sometimes.

I'm constantly trying to reproduce old memories that become euphoric in my mind, even if they weren't euphoric at the time they happened. I made a "summer" playlist in preparation for summer full of songs that remind me of past summers. I always try to listen to a song and smell the same things as I did at the time the song "hit me". I even consciously create a "setting" before I listen to a new album that I can reproduce later on. I also go back and watch childhood favourite movies in pursuit of the same rush.

I get this feeling sometimes. It's like I have excess energy, and the energy is focussed inwards and it's just buzzing inside my head. I get a physical sensation in my skull when this happens, like wires vibrating. It happens when I see something that visually stimulates me, when I'm doing something I'm interested in, when I'm thinking about something I'm interested in, sometimes when I have a lot of coffee. It doesn't happen in every instance of these situations, but often enough to make up for all the worldangst. If your experiences are anything like mine, they will occur when you're completely in your own world, doing something you love or experiencing positive sensory stimulation. I didn't have this feeling for a while, too. It was mainly because my situation was not conducive to it. Don't know if any of that helps.

anneurysm - I resonate with a lot of what you wrote. I used to get those euophoric states, especially when listening to progressive rock and jazz music (pink floyd, genesis, caravan, robert wyatt, mahavishnu orchestra, etc.). I would also see complete imaginary video clips in my head, in 3-d. Travelling also induces such a euophoric state - the ride itself (in busses or trains), along changing landscapes, especially when I'm tired. The twilight hours during the springtime induce such states.
I also experience it when I go to sleep, just before actually falling asleep.
I wrote a song about it:
An Autistic Universe (July 2008)
======================
An autistic universe of sights and sounds
An autistic universe of joy and hope
An autistic universe of happiness
An autistic universe of laughter
An autistic universe of songs and dances
An autistic universe of endless opportunities
An autistic universe of dreams
An autistic universe of me


Do you think it is because we are both annemic?

It happens to me all the time. I like it, it's quite lovely.

I can relate some, I think.

I lived in a state of meaningful isolation most of the time and it was very... good.

I saw people, I learnt about them, but their immediate reality never touched me.

Now that it does because my understanding has grown, I can see the difference to that time when I was living in a clouded... far-away dimension. I think the border between them and me has become transparent now.

Today, when I walk through the streets, I'm not just seeing others on a little TV screen any more, but all around me. A lot of ugly, stressful things to see in the world these days. Thankfully there's a border between them and me that allows me to live somewhere else while being there at the same time.

The idea to live in that dreary, lulled world makes me nauseas. A nightmare. It's dull, grey and painfully limited unlike the place I come from where everything is so different. Edit: So much more 'realistic'. Though of course I know this everyday world is absolute reality. But it doesn't feel very 'realistic' to me.

Being very metaphorical here, but I sure have no idea how else to describe my perception.

I'm fascinated by this concept of a "good dream". I thought that all dreams had a universal theme - anxiety. I cannot remember the last time I had a dream where anxiety was not the overwhelming influence. Maybe I've had two or three over the years, but that would have been long ago.

Transplantman, I like to create little playlists of songs which registered on me when I was experiencing certain feelings. I usually cannot "connect" to what emotions I am experiencing it until I can be alone and sort it out by associating it with music, whether I am actually hearing the music or recalling it (in precise detail) from the 24/7 jukebox constantly playing a song in my head.