Accused of incoherent thoughts?

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Do others here often have problems with people understanding what you are trying to say? For example, if you are asked your opinion on something, do you spend a lot of time trying to explain what you mean over actually expanding on your point?

I'm not sure exactly what you're referring to with your example... But I get accused of being incoherent all the time. I feel like I'm getting the point across, or the relevance of my statements is obvious... But I find I just think differently and when I explain my point (or the connection) out right, all I get is, "Oh, ok." Or something similar...

Yes. Sometimes I say something that is only meaningful to me, unfortunately. Other times i'll speak in metaphor and people will take me serious for some reason. :/

all the time...

the other day I compared something to AIDS. I spent so long justifying & explaing why I had done so that I cant even remember what the original conversation was about (it was completely unrelated to aids ). It was just, you know how they say "aids DOESN'T kill you, it just makes you susceptible to things that do" (oh NOW I have the words to explain it :X), but anyway, yeah, I kinda felt like an idiot but it TOTALLY makes perfect sense to me...

That is exactly is what I am talking about. I often get the following:

1 - Repeating the same point (despite my best efforts to say it differently).
2 - Just trying to argue (though that is the case sometimes).
3 - Not making sense.


Quite often, as I mentioned, I end up doing what msinglynx said, I spend a long time justifying or explaining my words as opposed to conversing about the specific topic.


It's so frustrating!!

Quite a lot.
For example, today, I spent about 10 minutes(which is a lot in a lesson, imo) explaining why I thought that doing the Race For Life thing for Cancer Research UK was completely pointless when there's already a cure for most cancers. For some reason, no one could comprehend me saying a charity is pointless, 'but...it's for charity', 'What, so you wouldn't want to help someone who's dyeing by giving them some money.'
Sometimes I loose in arguments because there's so many things wrong in their statement, people simply get bored of me correcting about 5 things in every single defense they make, i.e:
'What, so you wouldn't want to help someone who's dyeing by giving them some money.'(Was actually said in the conversation)
1. It doesn't go to the person dyeing, it goes to a charity trying to work out something already figured out.
2. Even if it was given to them, what's the point in giving it to them, 'Hey, sorry you're dying, here's a fiver, get better soon!'!?
3. I highly doubt me running in a race for a monopolistic charity like Cancer Research UK would actually result in any medical breakthroughs, and even if it did, it's probably been proven before.
And so fourth. I only managed to fit the second point into that statement before being interrupted with the whole, 'B...bu- but it's for charity!' gullible stuff.
IDK if this what you meant. Admittedly I did make a bit of a controversial statement, but meh, it was clearly obvious...
EMZ.

waaaahahaha that is so perfectly true of my conversations as well.
A proffessor once asked if I was in a burning down house & had to chose between saving my beloved cat & an infant, which would I choose and I said the cat. Which I thought was perfectly reasonable & I even explained cuz I knew most people would say the child out of duty to the species, but I was like
"I dont know what kind of person a kid could grow up to be, you dont know, maybe he'll become hitler & he was supposed to die, but the worst a cat can ever do is... scratch the hell out of you, no permanent mass damage to an entire world." I got more into it but I stopped when the she started screaming that I was insane or evil & just agreed when she said I was trying to get a rise out of her. I didn't know what else to say or how to explain it better so she would understand me.

Yes and my mother does it too. She will start saying something, but she starts in the middle of what she's trying to explain. I have to stop her and say 'I'm sorry what are you talking about?'
I used to do that in the past and sometimes do if I'm excited to talk to someone about something.
I think it's just harder to understand what I'm saying because my speech does not flow out smoothly and my brain is too fast for NT conversation.

Oooooh that bugs me SO much... I mean, if you're going to ask such a question, you should expect a variety of answers for a variety of different reasons. If only one answer is acceptable to you, then why ask the question?? And yes, I know people use rhetorical questions to make points in support of an argument, but seriously... consider whether or not the implied answer you believe is so obvious is in fact that way when using a different style of thinking. It is not in fact intuitively obvious that everyone on earth would prioritize a strange baby over a familiar animal. I don't consider myself to be a cold or evil person, but I also don't really get why I'm supposed to think that all humans are more valuable than anything else on earth (and moreover, that all human life has exactly the same value, because not even the people who believe that actually act like they believe it). Drives me NUTS...

So anyway, yeah, I very often find myself explaining what I was trying to say to people. I think it's due to the fact that we all basically enter a conversation assuming a huuuuge range of background information that makes the conversation possible. This information ranges from physical laws to cultural norms to linguistic rules. The problem arises from the fact that those with a very different way of looking at their world are basing their statements on assumed knowledge or belief that their listener doesn't really have and can't really even comprehend. For example, as I said above I don't see why it is supposed to be intuitively obvious that human life is inherently valuable. The vast majority of people base their view of the world in a set of cultural values that make such a thought impossible to understand, let alone come into a conversation accepting that thought as a possible premise. As a result, if I made a statement based on that particular belief, I would have to spend a hell of a lot of time explaining how I could even hold that belief in the first place before most of the participants in the conversation could think about what I'd said for its own merits. And naturally there is no point in expanding on your argument if no one even grasps the gist of it in the first place...

This is the reason why I don't tell most people my true thoughts on things. Unless it's an important situation, I either echo what the crowd is saying or say what I assume is considered the appropriate response. It's insincere, but at least people leave me alone most of the time.

I'm way to loquacious and opinionated do pursue such a method. What typically gets me is when I think the other person should have grasped what I'm saying--from there it's usually down hill. If I recognize the reality of their lack of understanding (be it their fault or my own), I don't do so bad.

A gratifying tuba player sells the spider to the stovepipe. But does the plaintiff finds subtle faults with another cargo bay toward a burglar, or is the grand piano beyond a bottle of beer ostensibly befriending the tripod near said bottle of beer? When you see the eagerly Eurasian eggplant, it means that the proverbial pit viper starts reminiscing about lost glory.

Yeah, I actually used to be that way, and still am with those people I think really ought to understand me (like when I'm speaking to somebody who has understood me in the past, or when there is something important at stake). I guess, though, that I just woke up one day a few years back and suddenly realized that most people don't understand what I say, and even worse, most of them don't even really care to, they just want to tell me what they think and have me agree and be done with it. This is one thing that bugs me about the characterization of AS - as far as I can tell, everyone just wants other people to listen to what they say and find it wonderful and fascinating. Very few people genuinely want to hear something that disagrees with their own view of the world. At least with AS people it's very easy to tell when they actually want to hear what you have to say. Other people act like they're interested when in reality they aren't, and how the heck are you supposed to interpret that??? Sorry, /rant

But yeah, if I don't consciously shut myself up or parrot the "normal" response, I am definitely in the too loquacious and opinionated category, and have been known to babble for a looooong time before I notice that no one is actually listening to or getting me

Sometimes I'll be thinking something in my head and eventually draw a conclusion, and then when I say it I'll leave out everything in the middle. My English teacher has talked about this kind of mistake in papers, and she calls it A to D thinking. You start with A and skip to D, leaving out B and C. It's not a mistake I ever really make in writing, but I always feel like I'm rushed when I'm speaking. I guess I just like to think before I open my mouth, but taking too long makes people nervous.

Ya, that's exactly it!

And what I've noticed... Is that this type of conversation happens a lot in conversations (I'ved had) with people on the spectrum... These same issues still arise often in conversation because we all talk this way and can't perceive what we're not getting across. But I've usually found that it's ok! Once the point of clarification is made, the conversation circles back to where it was and moves onward. This pace of conversations tends to annoy most other people. I think most people like conversations to be more linear and I have found they often have forgotten the original line of thought, once they get sidetracked due to my explanations for their queries to my logic. I often find annoyance too from many people, when I try to continue with the conversation despite my derailment... As if I've already dismissed their folly while they still struggle to grasp or refute the situation. Oftentimes I am proven right on whatever issue is at hand... and even after that, they cannot amend my logic and just abide that somehow I was right on the matter.

Other times... I am flat out wrong. And I am still trying to learn to laugh at myself.

sometimes peoples tell me they don't understand the things i say.

I get this all the time. I STILL think it is the people and not me. My friend never has problems understanding my approaches and logic.

Simple logic from my point of view. I explain in a logical and rational order to people. I explain why A equals A basically. Still though, I get the, "That doesn't make any sense." argument.

People lie. They say things like that to try and make you look bad. I ask them why it doesn't make sense and they don't even attempt an explanation.

See what happens when you ask people why you don't make sense.