I wish life came with an instruction manual...

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i_wanna_blue
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04 Feb 2009, 12:00 pm

Looking back at my life as a kid, I think it's easy to understand why I had so much anxiety. I was always lost and I unless I had specific instructions on what to do, I would become nervous, wondering about what was expected of me, and why.

If only life came with an instruction manual. Step 1....Step 2 and so on. It's like my brain needed to be instructed on how to exist just like everyone else. As a kid, I looked on at others with amazement, as if in my mind I asked the question: 'Ok why didn't I get the memo/script?'

After such a start of belwiderment and lagging so much behind, I have spent the rest of my life trying to catch up (to no avail). So can anyone relate? :?



Greentea
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04 Feb 2009, 12:11 pm

Yes, same for me. To this day, everyone acts different from me, thinks different from me, feels different from me in most things.


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Gryphoness
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04 Feb 2009, 12:20 pm

I can absolutely relate, both in childhood and the present. I have always felt alien to everyone around me. I still get very anxious in any situation that involves people and/or expectations. I constantly get migraines that are partly caused by the tension in my neck. But no matter how much I tell myself to relax or psych myself into believing that there is nothing to worry about, I am still always very anxious. It's like my nervous system is hypersensitive and out of my control. Also, I will not take any medication for it as I always have either no reaction to prescriptions and just get the lovely side effects or it causes the opposite of the desired effect. I was put on an anti-depressant as a teenager (as migraine prevention) and in two weeks I wanted to kill myself more than I ever had before. I've quit every prescription cold turkey and I just don't risk it anymore.

I've been wondering: With all the anxiety that Aspies deal with, does anyone else suffer headaches or other negative physical effects?


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Greentea
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04 Feb 2009, 12:30 pm

I suffered from anxiety all my life due to AS and the very painful social problems it causes me. After years of nudging me, my therapist convinced me to start taking a kind of Prozac. I've felt much better with it. In fact, in the last year I've had such horrible problems in my life that I don't think I'd have made it without the damn pills. I would've never started taking them, though, had my life not become a living hell.


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Prof_Pretorius
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04 Feb 2009, 12:57 pm

When I was a lad, I enjoyed building model cars because all I had to do was follow the instructions ! !! To this day, when I have to learn a software app I have to write out each step so I can follow what to do next ! !


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Prosser
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04 Feb 2009, 12:59 pm

I can relate indeed.


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outlier
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04 Feb 2009, 1:13 pm

Yes, I can relate. I used to wish I could somehow transfer any knowledge I gained to my past self, so I wouldn't have as many bad memories and after effects :) . Most people didn't realise how much everyday knowledge I was lacking, and it didn't feel safe to let them in on it. I still haven't caught up with my age group.

Gryphoness wrote:
I've been wondering: With all the anxiety that Aspies deal with, does anyone else suffer headaches or other negative physical effects?


Yes. I'm sure many of my symptoms are anxiety-related. But it's so difficult to separate the physical and mental/brain processes and determine what causes what. The constant fatigue, acid reflux, and arrhythmias are the most difficult to determine the cause of; the doctors aren't sure if they're another symptom of stress or another physical illness. I blame much of it, including the anxiety, on hormones; I was more healthy and less anxious before adolescence. My mother suffered terrible anxiety and IBS until menopause, when most of her symptoms rapidly abated.



Prof_Pretorius
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04 Feb 2009, 2:27 pm

Gryphoness wrote:

I've been wondering: With all the anxiety that Aspies deal with, does anyone else suffer headaches or other negative physical effects?


Muscle tension, lower back pain, and sleep disorders.


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04 Feb 2009, 2:27 pm

I wish there were books out there on what is rude and what isn't rude. I mean I don't know every single "what is rude" out there so how do people know what is rude and what isn't rude? One of my online friends told me it's common sense people use. I remember saying at my last job how do people know what is rude and what isn't rude, it's as if they read through a book of "what is rude and isn't rude" and I was never given it.


Luckily there are books out there on body language and relationships. I doubt everyone reads them. Just shows some people suck at it so they need the books so why not books on rudeness too?



Xelebes
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04 Feb 2009, 2:33 pm

I don't because I would spend my whole life reading it.


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Greentea
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04 Feb 2009, 2:34 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
how do people know what is rude and what isn't rude? One of my online friends told me it's common sense


Yes, common sense. Also known as Theory of Mind. Problem is we Aspies have the common sense of our planet's population, not of the Earthians.


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JetLag
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04 Feb 2009, 6:39 pm

I think having an owner's manual to life from day one would have benefited me up to a certain point, but I think that I probably wouldn't still get right some of the other points about life some people are sometimes trying to get across to me.


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jelibean
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04 Feb 2009, 6:48 pm

I said exactly the same to a NT genius mate of mine, what are the rules of life? ANYONE KNOW??

She astounded me and said YES!! I wanted to know where they were written.........in stone perhaps and I had missed it ...............story of my life!! She explained that the unwritten meaning/questions of life that everyone apparently knows (I didn'nt!!) are these, they help you discover who you really are! It is something that neurotypicals just KNOW! Shame they didn't let us in on the secret, but then to them it is not a secret! Confused? You will be!! :lol:

Here we go
Question 1......................WHO AM I?
Question 2......................WHO DO I LOVE?
Question 3......................WHO LOVES ME?

Trouble is answering question 1 could take years and you can't possibly know the full answer until you answer question 2 and 3!!

I was flummoxed at first but slowly with her help I have been able to discover who I am, I am now comfortable in my autistic skin for the first time in my life BUT the answers to the other questions were very suprising......................the people I thought loved me actually don't! And those I thought I loved, maybe not! It aint always the people you EXPECT to love you (like family) that do, but only when you look deep inside you own self are you able to see inside others...................oooh that all sounds a bit heavy, I guess it is, hope it makes sense!! Rambling soz :lol:



Last edited by jelibean on 04 Feb 2009, 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

pensieve
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04 Feb 2009, 6:49 pm

An instruction manual would have helped me out too, although my reading comprehension was so poor I'd probably do the opposite to what it said.



Prof_Pretorius
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04 Feb 2009, 6:53 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
I wish there were books out there on what is rude and what isn't rude. I mean I don't know every single "what is rude" out there so how do people know what is rude and what isn't rude?


It is considered rude to reach out, grab someone's nose and make a honking sound.

It is considered rude to take items out of other people's trolleys at the grocery store.


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I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke