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Padium
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11 Feb 2009, 1:26 pm

Okay, I have a bit of a situation... I have two people I like, one I believe is interested in me, and lives about 5 minutes away by foot, the other I am not sure about and lives far enough away that I rarely see her. I don't know if I should pursue the one I live closer to, as I am more interested in the one that lives farther away, but I don't think it is a really good idea to let the one who lives farther away know I like her, as we don't see each other often enough to really know each other that well. What would you do? or, What would you recommend that I do?



beef_bourito
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11 Feb 2009, 2:49 pm

since the thread is "what would you do" i'd probably go for the one who's closer. if that didn't work out i'd go for the other one.

if you're asking for advice on what YOU should do, then i'd have to know you better. how much more do you like the other girl? it's up to you to decide if you liker her enough to make up for the convenience and the increased certainty of the close girl. if i liked the close one enough to want to date her i'd go for her unless the other one was absolutely incredible and i couldn't imagine being with another girl, but that's just me.



IdahoRose
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11 Feb 2009, 3:15 pm

beef_bourito wrote:
since the thread is "what would you do" i'd probably go for the one who's closer. if that didn't work out i'd go for the other one.


^ This seems reasonable to me.



Padium
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11 Feb 2009, 3:39 pm

I will throw out another question. The girl who lives farther away, who I would prefer to the other, also uses a site I frequent. How could I, on that site, subtly suggest I like her, without having to say that, and have her be able to know right away what I meant?



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11 Feb 2009, 3:46 pm

Padium wrote:
I will throw out another question. The girl who lives farther away, who I would prefer to the other, also uses a site I frequent. How could I, on that site, subtly suggest I like her, without having to say that, and have her be able to know right away what I meant?

I don't know if you could or if it'd work, but, if you haven't already, you could ask her for your email because you really like her and enjoy talking to her. I think it's safe to say from that that it's not saying you like _like_ her, but, I don't know... I was in bed once with a guy and didn't think he was flirting, so, y'ah, it might just be me not wanting to make assumptions.
EMZ=]



SpongeBobRocksMao
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11 Feb 2009, 3:48 pm

The best thing to do is try and act like you like her, I'm not sure if it is much help, but try things like acting really nice to her and stuff.


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11 Feb 2009, 3:59 pm

Padium wrote:
Okay, I have a bit of a situation... I have two people I like, one I believe is interested in me, and lives about 5 minutes away by foot, the other I am not sure about and lives far enough away that I rarely see her. I don't know if I should pursue the one I live closer to, as I am more interested in the one that lives farther away, but I don't think it is a really good idea to let the one who lives farther away know I like her, as we don't see each other often enough to really know each other that well. What would you do? or, What would you recommend that I do?


Honestly, I'd approach the one you like better. If it were me, I would simply tell her I like her and why (assuming, of course, that the reason is one that won't get you slapped. If that's the case, find another reason that you like her and mention that one. :lol: :wink: ).

There is nothing wrong with her realizing that you are romantically interested. In my experience, it's best if she DOES realize that. You don't want to get stuck in the "friend zone". By that, I mean that you don't want her to get used to thinking of you as her "great, platonic friend". Once women get used to thinking of you like that, they often get scared to let any romance happen because they don't want to lose a friend.

If you don't get anywhere with the one you like better, try the other one. :)

It can be scary to approach someone that you are romantically interested in but it is for everyone (NTs included). Most women know that and won't say anything cruel. In my experience, it's DEFINATELY worth any amount of fear you might have. What's a few minutes of fear compared to the possibility of months, years, or a lifetime with someone special?



Padium
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11 Feb 2009, 4:05 pm

Now, what if there were something that made this person knowing seem very awkward, and to throw on top of that this person is also likely on the spectrum (can't be certain, never asked).



mitharatowen
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11 Feb 2009, 4:08 pm

I'd go for the one I liked the most.



Emor
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11 Feb 2009, 4:11 pm

Padium wrote:
Now, what if there were something that made this person knowing seem very awkward, and to throw on top of that this person is also likely on the spectrum (can't be certain, never asked).

Would it make any difference? If she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you. AFAIK, being awkward doesn't really have anything to do with it.
If she's on the spectrum, I don't know if you'd be able to put it in a subtle manor.
If she lives away from you, it wouldn't be that hard to face rejection anyway?
To decrease the likely hood of that happening though, I'd recommend getting to know her better and such.
Sorry if this is a close minded, inconsiderate post, it just seems a bit straight forward. I don't know if I can talk- I've never asked anyone out.
EMZ=]