I'v been around here for a while, just reading... I'v also made a couple of posts. But now I feel I need help with this one.
I don't really know if I do have aspergers... I'm a little in doubt.
Cause, I think that I can do a conversation fine. It's not like I'm completely lost. It's kind of hard for me to describe.
As long as a conversation doesn't rely on others emotions, I do fine. But if people gets mad at me, I don't really know why.
I have other symptoms, like Special Interests, Stimming and I wouldn't say lack of, more like I don't like eyecontact, but part of the time still does it.
I don't go to partys... You know, too loud, too many people etc.
I'v always felt like an outcast.
Really I just want to lock myself in a bathroom or something like that, but yet I really love being around with my friends.
I'm going to post something that a wrote last night, that I thought no-one would/should read, but I'v thought about it and here it goes:
"I can't explain excatly how I fell... But I can make people watch a video, and say: "That's how I fell"... Yet I can't be 100% sure that they get the same meaning/feeling that I do...
I know how I feel inside, but I can't explain it very well... I'm not sure that the expression I make, is the same as how I feel. The closest word I can relate to is Autism...
I'm newly beginning to want to talk about this (only with very few people, 2)... But I have known about Autism and Aspergers for a long time... I'v been though hard times too... But I think that I'm mostly over that now... It's just still ... (Yeah... find a word)...
I'm a little nervous about moving out, to live on my own. Even though I really want to. But yeah... I'll take things as they come..."
Do anyone have any ideas??... What do you think...
I'd like to say that I do feel that I have aspergers, and think I can relate to many aspects in it.
A family member of mine (who has aspergers) told me that I do not have it. But how can he really tell. I mean, he can only see it from outside, not how I feel inside.
EDIT:
I know that you cannot tell me excatly if I have. I just want your point of view.
I don't know if I'm giving enough information. Please ask questions if you feel you need to.