Help needed

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I'v been around here for a while, just reading... I'v also made a couple of posts. But now I feel I need help with this one.

I don't really know if I do have aspergers... I'm a little in doubt.
Cause, I think that I can do a conversation fine. It's not like I'm completely lost. It's kind of hard for me to describe.
As long as a conversation doesn't rely on others emotions, I do fine. But if people gets mad at me, I don't really know why.
I have other symptoms, like Special Interests, Stimming and I wouldn't say lack of, more like I don't like eyecontact, but part of the time still does it.
I don't go to partys... You know, too loud, too many people etc.
I'v always felt like an outcast.

Really I just want to lock myself in a bathroom or something like that, but yet I really love being around with my friends.
I'm going to post something that a wrote last night, that I thought no-one would/should read, but I'v thought about it and here it goes:


"I can't explain excatly how I fell... But I can make people watch a video, and say: "That's how I fell"... Yet I can't be 100% sure that they get the same meaning/feeling that I do...
I know how I feel inside, but I can't explain it very well... I'm not sure that the expression I make, is the same as how I feel. The closest word I can relate to is Autism...

I'm newly beginning to want to talk about this (only with very few people, 2)... But I have known about Autism and Aspergers for a long time... I'v been though hard times too... But I think that I'm mostly over that now... It's just still ... (Yeah... find a word)...
I'm a little nervous about moving out, to live on my own. Even though I really want to. But yeah... I'll take things as they come..."


Do anyone have any ideas??... What do you think...
I'd like to say that I do feel that I have aspergers, and think I can relate to many aspects in it.
A family member of mine (who has aspergers) told me that I do not have it. But how can he really tell. I mean, he can only see it from outside, not how I feel inside.


EDIT:
I know that you cannot tell me excatly if I have. I just want your point of view.
I don't know if I'm giving enough information. Please ask questions if you feel you need to.

If you would excuse me, I'm going to stim and press my hand against my frontal lobe, for posting this... :/

EDIT (again):
What annoys me the most, is not social interaction, that actually seems to work out ok. But it's the fact that I can't express myself very well...
Now... There was somthing more I wanted to say, but I forgot it... I'll edit if it comes back.

But if you need any information, just question me...

Yeah, and I'm wondering if I'm a "just" a very verbal aspie.

You've done the quiz, right? That's supposed to be a pretty good indicator. ( http://www.rdos.net/eng/ Aspie Quiz, on the left)

I'm really not sure what your asking for. You seem to just be explaining how you feel, with no really clear question.


But put it this way: Does it really matter? Are you going to do or not do certain things if you're for sure an aspie? Or will you just keep doing the best you can?

Yeah, I'v done the test, actually I'v done pretty many test.
The RDOS gave me this:


It does not matter for how I am, but I guess you know how it feels to really want a clear answer.
I just want to know your opinion. Cause for me I'm still a little in doubt, but I do think that I am an aspie.

My opinion, yes probably.
You could always seek a formal diagnosis, if you want a professional opinion.

I pass for normal pretty well, except for inside my head. My own parents never even guessed it, although they did think there was something. I can socilaize and all that, I can even go to parties. But I feel like I'm just not a real part of it, like I just can't ever really fit. But apparently I play it off pretty well.

TheSpecialKid:

I scored about the same on the 'Aspie Quiz' yet I also pass for 'normal' quite easily. But after an hour and a half with my new psychologist last week, she said it was obvious to her trained eye that I do belong somewhere on the spectrum, and an official evaluation will tell exactly where I fit on the spectrum.

I speak pretty normal; I have no odd rhythm to my speech, but I do trip over my tongue a lot and I do lack proper eye contact. The few people I have mentioned AS to think I'm just crazy or a hypochondriac. Well, the fact is I am neither, and I am most likely AS, perhaps even 'atypical' AS. Atypical meaning that I meet all the criteria as specified in DSM-IV-TR, but I do not have the typical "Asperger's" way of talking and there are a few other minor things often seen in people with Asperger's that I don't display. But I did not have any kind of a language delay, so I don't qualify for high-functioning autism.

Thanks for all the answers. Well, my mom told me today: "Maybe your dad is right about you being a little autistic". I promise that I didn't bring it on!
I was SO happy from hearing her saying that.