Ideas of Reference, Egocentrism, and Paranoia

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Do you ever take offense to hurtful things said about other people? Do you ever convince yourself that everyone is somehow against you? I always tend to convince myself that when there is an anonymous comment or rumor, it was somehow directed at me. For example, my friend just told me that my teacher once said someone had a pug face. Now I'm paranoid that it was me! So now I think I have a pug face. Another time, a teacher claimed some paintings of his morning class were just "abyssmal looking". I was convinced he meant mine, so I named it Smal Abys. My friend defaced a wall in the art building, depicting John McCain and Sarah Palin as evil (in a very superficial manner)... and I immediately thought it was an illustration of me and my boyfriend. I almost yelled at her. I must be delusional.

Am I the only person who does this? Or I guess I take self-deprecation to another level.

Sounds just like me. I always feel like someone has something bad to say about me, even if it's not true. I can be pretty narciscistc at times, and when people do gossip like this, I often think it's my downfall. I absolutely hate it when people talk about me and put me down like that, so I do often get paranoid that people are talking about me, even if it has nothing to do with me at all!

One good example of this was when I was in twelfth grade and these two girls in my cooking class were talking about this girl in my english class who had the same first name as me. Her last name was actually the name of a school I used to go to. I asked these girls why they were talking about me like that, and they said they were talking about that other girl and swore it wasn't me. I'm totally convinced now it was that other girl they were talking about now, but at the time, I was extremely suspicious about it.

Thanks for responding! It's really bothering me right now.

I did the same thing in high school except I didn't have the guts to go up to them. These boys would draw pictures of a Sparrow Girl in my computer class. I was convinced that they meant me. So I thought I looked like a sparrow. (I wouldn't mind this so much anymore) (Now that I think about it, pugs and sparrows can't look any more different, right?) Sometimes I overhear strangers gossiping about other people, and I think they're randomly bashing me for no reason at all.

This is why I don't like gossip, it's so unneccessary. And this is why I think I do have empathy for other people's feelings.

Oh good, I'm not the only one with this problem!! !

I use to get in the middle of fights whenever I'd see the "victim" getting the taunts. Now I try to stay out of it only cos it's gotten me into more trouble. I think I tend to reflect too much on people who are overwhelmed with harassment.

In highschool, it was much more worse. I think Lightening summed my feelings about gossip very well in this thread. Although, I seem to have had more trouble with bullying of girls than I did with guys. I guess girls can be more hurtful when it comes to verbal abuse.

In my own way, I do feel like a narcist, as if it's happening even though more times than not, it isn't. This is probably due to my insecurtiy in terms of friendships and relationships. I have trouble expressing myself around people...when I do, it comes off flat and odd. Because of this, I have been ridiculed and made fun of for it..not that I'm exclusively blaming ASD for this. I think it depends on the person and how much is too much when it comes to bullying.

No probs!

That particular year those girls were talking about that other girl was actually a very good year for me. So I didn't have any problems standing up for myself. If I didn't, everyone else did for me since I was actually popular at that particular school. I can't say that for the few years before that though...

lol Yeah, there's a pretty big difference between pugs and sparrows. It's especially hard sorting these sort of things out when you've been harrassed a lot, too. I actually used to get extremely paranoid about that. I would walk around in fear even at the grocery store in hopes that no one there knew me and would harrass me. Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky so of course they were around. People would actually wait for me to come around.

I'm with you on that one. I can't stand gossip. I keep thinking everyone seriously needs to grow up, but I know they never will. Even at my mom's job (she's a CPA), there's a ton of gossip. I'm thinking, how could there possibly be so much gossip in accounting?

I think that's what known as "ideas of reference" or that's what the shrinks call it anyway. It's associated with schizotypal personality disorder...and probably other disorders as well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusions_of_reference

Uhmm, but these claims aren't completely out of the blue. These people are not folks on T.V. or in movies. They're mostly my friends/acquaintances. (I am pretty superstitious, but that's not the same thing. I once told a friend that I felt like Joan of Arc because I could hear everything cruel around me. Okay, that might be a delusion of reference, but I was also high. Don't do that anymore though.)

The comments by strangers could be applied to me so I take offense for whoever they may be talking about. I don't think the whole world is out to get me. Okay, I just worry that they may be. But I am usually wrong.

Just paranoid, not completely convinced. But I will momentarily convince myself in panicked state of mind... In fact, my admission to delusion would not be delusion at all.

(And now I'm paranoid that my situation was misinterpreted. It's a viscious cycle. I'll stopnow)

oh i just wondered if people knew there was a name for that kind of thing. no ulterior motives. it's an interesting concept. I had it for a while (IOR) but I was having my midlife crisis at the time.

I just had a conversation about this. I do not think that people are 'all against me'. But quite a lot on the spectrum are said to think like that.

Well, I'm guessing thinking like that can be the result of as feeling of insecurity that's caused by/taken to a new level because of mild - to severe - anxiety. Which at worst results in delusions and at its mildest makes a person question themselves a lot and suspect non-existent insulting intentions directed at them because they feel a bit insecure by having made bad experiences in the past.