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Padium
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13 Feb 2009, 9:07 am

How does one show interest in someone? This has been a problem for me in the past, and I will assume it has been a problem for other aspies as well. How do you show that you like someone? I only ask this because I have had many opportunities in the past for relationships, and lost them purely because the other person thought I wasn't interested.

I am not looking right now, and don't really need to know, but I am still curious.



zeichner
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13 Feb 2009, 9:54 am

Asking them to join you for coffee (or other beverage of choice) would be a start. It shows you are interested enough to want to spend some time specifically with them. I see NTs at work do this all the time ("Wanna go get some coffee?")

After that, it's lunch - then dinner. Or it could evolve into other activities (depending on common interests), that don't involve eating or drinking. Maybe a Saturday afternoon playing video games together.

It seems so simple when I see other people do it.


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marshall
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13 Feb 2009, 12:48 pm

This beats me too. In order to show interest I need to interact with someone who has some interest in common with me. Otherwise connecting is fruitless. Sometimes I can get the other person to talk about themselves by asking questions but I quickly run out of things to ask because I'm either completely clueless or completely bored.



Whatsherhame
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13 Feb 2009, 12:55 pm

Act like your interested in everything the person says, (even if you're not), and then take the initiative and ask them out for a coffee or something, And then in a day(or a few days) repeat.



Sora
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13 Feb 2009, 1:30 pm

What would a person have to do to make you think that they are interested in you?

Ignore you, maybe?

Talk about themselves and their life and every little detail only and all the time? (Big one for those with AS probably...)

Ask you questions about your life and thoughts?

Should they say that thinking what you think is illogical or useless? Or should they say it's interesting or that there's a very interesting grain of truth in it?

You can make up a lot by simply asking others questions, saying what they say is right, interesting, a good question - just positively commenting on it, not staring off into space and ignoring them and avoiding a conversation for fear of embarrassment.


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millie
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13 Feb 2009, 1:31 pm

Quote:
Padium wrote:
How does one show interest in someone? This has been a problem for me in the past, and I will assume it has been a problem for other aspies as well. How do you show that you like someone? I only ask this because I have had many opportunities in the past for relationships, and lost them purely because the other person thought I wasn't interested.

I am not looking right now, and don't really need to know, but I am still curious.


Padium , i wish i could help.
i am hopeless with this stuff and have not yet worked it out.
in the past i would blab my special interests at them...and facts too.....
it did not go down too well.

i think it is hard for us to be the "smooth" types in dating procedures.

good luck.

i do think being YOU is a good start though.