Does anyone claim you do 'it' on puprose?

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About some people with AS/HFA some people sincerely believe that they have a disorder that cause their AS traits and symptoms - the problem is that they assume the person has anxiety, emotional issues, LDs and MRs instead of AS.

About some other people with AS/HFA they say they have 'a weak character' are 'people who have little talents', are 'strange people who can't help their weird habits and deficits'. That must be equally annoying and devastating, I believe.

About yet some people with AS/HFA they say that they're plain lazy, that they consciously decide to be that way (have traits and symptoms that actually are of AS) and that if they would just make up their minds and not constantly try to annoy the world by pretending to be a certain way, they'd be as normal as everybody else. I'm off that group.

That's what a lot of people said about me if they didn't believe I did these things - again on purpose, however that's supposed to work - as a result of emotional issues and a low IQ.

When I was unable to do something, displayed severe weirdness or inability, people outright said I did it on purpose. Even if they said 'it has to be an emotional disturbance or low IQ' they still said 'you just pretend/claim/make this up' and 'you just pretend to need/be unable/be like that, you could behave normal'.

I have seen and heard the same directed at other people, children especially, with other special needs and disorders. That they 'do it on purpose'.

I can't believe so many people are blind to obvious abilities and disabilities. And that they rather claim that children and adults just pretend to not be able to do things or do things the same way when their impairments are really obvious etc.

Sora, my experience is that the vast majority of people will only acknowledge the most patently obvious physical conditions as "disabilities", such as having one leg, Down's syndrome, etc. Neurological conditions without unmistakable physical manifestations, such as autism, can be invisible to people at large. What's worse, if you tell a typical person that you have any of these "invisible" conditions, the most common response will be scepticism. You must, of course, be choosing to behave as you do.

Most people simply cannot accept what is beyond their experience. It is much easier to assume some ulterior motive on the "different" person than to open one's mind to the possibility that they actually do not know everything.

My existence is beyond the comprehension of the overwhelming preponderance of people. Only a very few even allow themselves to consider that my conditions might actually be real. Fewer still actually understand. It is ten times worse when you first reveal you conditions when you are in your 40s. The "explanations" that people come up with boggle the mind. People are easily led to believe what they want.

Hopelessly irreconcilable, this gulf of understanding has completely obliterated any relationship I had with my entire extended family. I did, however, learn who my true friends are. And they are all that matters.

Indeed, sadly people cannot see beyond their own perception of things

I'm totally with you there. People have been making these moronic assumptions about me my entire life. The worst example I can remember is when I was driving 92 in a 65 mph zone, of course a cop pulled up behind me to pull me over. I'd never been pulled over before, so I didn't recognize right away that that's what he was trying to do. Therefore, I didn't pull over for another 10 miles or so, so when I finally did, the cop concluded that I was trying to get away from him, so he got out of his car, pointed a gun at me, and then arrested me for alluding the police. How was I supposed to know? I'd never been pulled over before. And, what's obvious to other people ain't obvious to me. Fortunately, I escaped that situation with a mere probation, but still.

These things still happen to me a lot. If I can't tolerate something, or if I say something people don't like, or if I scream out of frustration due to being ignored, people always judge me incorrectly. It's so frustrating, and it sucks to know that I have to deal with this my whole life.

some times whe i ask questions in certain groups of people they give me that , are u that dence and stupid look in their eyes. and they assume a patranizing, condencending attitude twords me.little do they know i have 160 IQs on a bad day

melissa17b mentions downs,
am live with a downs guy who is treated like a baby because of his disability,yet he is the highest functioning out of everyone in the home,his 'main difficulty' is actually his diabetes [insulin dependant] as he has bad hypos,yet some of the staff have been complained about on regular basis by the NAS staff because they have neglected am to the point of being left rolling around in own wee,dont bother making sure am wearing helmet so any headbanging results in KOing self and a new shade of red on the wall,but they do everything apart from wipe Ds bum for him.


though its a bit different,am get accused of 'wanting to control people' when it comes to them not wanting to understand autism,they say because the prof/ MR autie downstairs is not as complex needs or challenging in the same ways as am that am doing this to get control of everyone.
am could not care less about other people,and think they fancy themselves to much to think anyone would want to control them.The managers have got autism training laid on for them all soon so hoping they're going to become easier to cope with.
the nasty ignorant way some of them are am have really felt like KOing them.

I've been blamed for my Aspie traits all my life, even as a baby. I have no contact with extended family whatsoever, or siblings, because of this. They blame me of being "crazy". Even if it was true that I was crazy, it'd hardly be my fault!! But most of all, they blame me of being selfish enough to indulge my individuality at the cost of others' feelings (when I used to say the king is nude, and ignored the pecking order). They'd never believe it nor care if I told them it's a genetic neurological condition.

I do a lot of things that make some people uneasy, sometimes I can't help it, sometimes I can realize it when I am doing it, and change what I am doing. I can't help it if I am pacing, its a stim for me, and I could sit down and tap, if I felt like sitting down, but I don't, so just let me pace.

Yes, it is just like the incident between me and my sisters last night, where I closed my sisters program's on my personal computer, because it was late and I wanted a few minutes to myself, and I ended up slapping myself repeatedly while my sisters looked on from the fridge area.

But seriously, nobody in my family validates me or makes me feel like I am allowed to be myself. Like whenever I talk to myself or tend to isolate myself from everybody for some time alone, the family does not see it as a part of having Asperger's but rather as me being extremely weird (my dad even hinted that he thought I may be mentally ill one time). They don't accept that speaking, eye contact, and eccentric behaviors are part and parcel of my experience.

melissa, my family are all about living in denial and illusion and avoiding reality at any cost. Some of them have done even unspeakable things to protect themselves from having to deal with reality. I humbly wonder how a person can live with themselves after doing such atrocities. But they can, and they're very happy with that lifestyle. I was just an obstacle to their perfect denial systems, so they had to get rid of me.

Greentea, there seems to be no limit to the extent people will go to in protecting whatever delusion of a perfect life they have. Every time I think I've seen it all, a new low is reached.

However, now that my family and I have absolutely zero contact, they cannot hurt me anymore. I have moved on. There are very few relationships left in my life that matter. This is not necessarily a bad thing - I am now more able to nurture them properly.

Strangely, if I had instead committed a heinous crime, I probably would have at least a modicum of support from my family. By deduction, what I am ("what I have done") must be far worse.

I would certainly not wish this treatment on anybody. I certainly feel for anyone who has experienced anything like this.