Are You Held To A Higher Standard Compared to NTs?

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Silver_Meteor
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16 Feb 2009, 12:31 am

Have you ever had NTs hold you to a higher standard because you were perceived as "different" from the others?


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Nim
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16 Feb 2009, 12:32 am

Standing out makes you a target, so yes.



MissConstrue
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16 Feb 2009, 12:36 am

Not really.

However, I had people call me "special" and "gifted". Most of them don't even know I have ASD.

Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...but it does feel like it's another word for being different.....:?


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whitetiger
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16 Feb 2009, 1:15 am

I was held to a much higher standard by my parents because I was considered gifted and there was no AS diagnosis in the DSM back then. It was hell!



Aufgehen
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16 Feb 2009, 5:24 am

Of course we are held to a higher standard, we are expected to have all of the NT skills that our brains are not wired for (because our brains have to drop some functions in order to have the processing room for the special skills that we do have), yet an NT is not expected to be able to do the stuff we can do...

Using the jobs that Temple Grandin suggests are often held by (or performed most easily by) someone on the spectrum versus jobs not typically held by people on the spectrum:

An engineer at an engineering firm is expected to have social skills, but the receptionist at the same firm is not expected to understand anything about engineering.

A chef is expected to be good with customers, but a waitress is not expected to know how to cook or bake.

A computer programmer is expected to know how to play the pecking order game, but a CEO isn't expected to know how to program a computer.

A science or math teacher is expected to know how to interact with parents, but the parents aren't expected to know how to teach science.

We on the spectrum are expected to understand and empathize with and conform to NT ways, but NTs are not expected to understand, empathize with or conform to spectrum ways, NT children are not expected to perform as well in specialized areas that various spectrumites excel in, but children on the spectrum are expected to understand and fit into the social order of the school.

I was expected to be able to figure out everything on my own from an early age because I was gifted and my drama queen NT sister was given lots of support and help from my parents because she was good at playing helpless, I spent my whole life trying to fix problems for the whiny NTs I married, while my parents coddled my sister, as soon as they stopped she suddenly became very successful and now actually brags about being an independent self made woman, conveniently forgetting all of the help she was given, while my parents had no time to even notice that I needed help because of her drama (though this is partly my fault as I don't even know how to ask for help and I actually believed that they were struggling rather than trying to escape responsibility)



Postperson
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16 Feb 2009, 6:26 am

Yes, I was always expected to be twice as good. I think it's a phenomenon of underclasses seeking to rise in social status, they (the uberclasses) will give you a chance but only if you're twice as good. They have to sabotage your effort or something, after giving the fake opportunity to do the same job or whatever.