Am I the only one who just does not care about money? not that i'm rich, I don't have my own house nor car nor anything, and yes, most of you may say "that's why". But still.
Though the course of my life, most my depressions ended up on a terrible fear of the future until i started blocking the future, most of them started on past memories so now i also try and block past memories, problem is that all the walls fall when something "triggers" a new depressive cycle, anyways back on the topic.
The money i earn or have, is on my bank account, i used to get paid by direct transfer, and there used to be fluctuations on my paycheck, of around 100€ (depending on extra hours, holidays during that month, etc) which i would not even notice, i give my mother 150€ per month to help her with house expenses, all the rest is just "there" in the bank, when i want something, i buy it. I'm a reckless spender, anything that would bring me 5 minutes of happiness, is worth buying. I do know how much I have, within 100~200€.