How often do you wonder what others are thinking?

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This evening, I was leaving work, and saw a woman sitting in a car. I realized that I was totally distracted with figuring out what she was thinking. She seemed to be waiting for someone. For a moment, I was totally lost in imagining whatever it was she might be thinking about. It's like I really wanted to know, even though this person was a total stranger and did not concern me. What surprised me was the level of attention I was giving this situation. I completely lost track of myself and my own thoughts while I was trying to read into this woman's thoughts.

Then I thought about this process itself. I realized that I do it all the time. If I am around other people, I obsessively try and figure out what they are thinking. I neglect my own thoughts and state of being while I am "out there" in my imaginings of what is going on in someone else's head. Let me emphasize, this has nothing to do with wondering how other people will perceive or judge me. It's like I really just want to see the raw content of the other person's thought stream.

I think that I do this as a coping mechanism for lack of social competence. I must be trying to gain all the input that I can from whatever source is available... even an imaginary one. So I will try and figure out other people's thoughts from a distance, attempting to give myself just a little more time to prepare, should an actual encounter occur. I know that if I meet someone unprepared, with no background, I freeze up and have a really hard time communicating.

So how do you feel about this? Do you obsessively try to figure out what other people are thinking? Or could you not care less? I'd like to understand how much of this may have something to do with Autism and AS, or if it's an unrelated cognitive phenomenon. Thanks for your input!

Not really. Sometimes I'll be astounded by the fact someone has all their own thoughts but I don't try to guess what they are.

I don't care what they are thinking. Not much I imagine. Mmmmmm sex! Mmmmm beer! Mmmm corner office! Mmmmmm sex! How do I appear to succeed in life without actually trying? Mmmmm money! Mmmmmm sex! Mmmmm beer! How about those Seahawks? Mmmmmm sex! Oh shiny must buy that! No wait, Joneses have a bigger shiny. Mmmmmm sex! Is it 5 o'clock yet?

I imagine an NT head is a pretty dreary place.

Remember when Data's girlfriend was asking him what he was thinking about when they kissed? And he gave her a list of like 20 things, only one of which was a calculation how much pressure to apply to her lips? That's an aspie brain.

I do this quite a bit. I like to walk around in public places, particularly malls, and do some "people watching." I've spent quite a bit of time and effort learning about body language and facial expressions and I like to try and apply what I've learned to see if I can figure out what they're thinking. Sometimes I make it into a kind of game to see if I can spot some gesture that indicates a particular mindset or quality. The biggest problem with this approach is that I don't really have any way of independently verifying that what I'm observing is what's actually occurring, so for all I know I could be way off in my interpretation.

I can't help but think which ones are faking their attitude and which ones are genuine.

It's also interesting to see some of the common quirks that small groups share.

But what they are thinking, seems to be out of my league.

I'm not sure what I am thinking.

Never-mind others

I wonder what people are thinking all the time in most situations especially for instant if im smoking. I don't want anybody to see me smoke but I it's hard for me to stop doing it though. Or if im hanging out with people and I don't have much to say.

I used to always think people were thinking about me, but that has eased a bit.

I was once bored in a supermarket and I was guessing what people were thinking or saying, as though they were characters in my own story.

rather than what. I am constantly figring out how people think.

All the time.

I have a social job and I want to act as normally as possible in several regards so I don't get around this.

I voted 'all the time' but I'm rarely interested in their thoughts as such, I'm interested in what they're going to do and how it affects me. I try to avoid abuse and harassment so I have to know who is likely to engage in it.

Don't mean to sound harsh, it's just that life is hard work.

"It's like I really just want to see the raw content of the other person's thought stream."

-- Could not have said it better myself.

"I think that I do this as a coping mechanism for lack of social competence. I must be trying to gain all the input that I can from whatever source is available... even an imaginary one. So I will try and figure out other people's thoughts from a distance, attempting to give myself just a little more time to prepare, should an actual encounter occur."

-- I think this is also the case with me. I've accostumed myself to be terrified by vacuums of social knowledge. I'm hoping now that I can just be happy *not* understanding people 100%.