Is this cold?

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Okay I enjoy working on my fanfiction using two characters I created and one by my online friend. I was talking to him one night and I ask about what he has troubles with since he doesn't really pay attention to what is AS and what isn't. So I tell him the reason why I am asking all these things was to get ideas for his character for what aspie traits he has and my online friend told me I didn't care about him and all I cared about was my story and it made me sound cold.

I don't think that sounds cold.

I don't either. Maybe you can explain that you just felt comfortable enough with your friendship, that you could ask this?

He is about the only friend online I can talk about my obsessions with and ask anything I want about them. I feel comfortable talking about it without worrying about scaring him away with my Benny & Joon.

I suppose you could ask him questions, or try to see what's up in his life; but then you know what you two talk about more than we do.

He might be really self conscious about his quirks (troubles, etc), and feels hurt because you want to develop a character based on them.

Using somebody in a story isn't mutually exclusive with caring about them, is it? I mean, if you want to put the guy in your story, doesn't that mean you think he's interesting enough to make a really good character?