Page 1 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Pook
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 412

27 Feb 2009, 11:21 am

I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?



Emor
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 464

27 Feb 2009, 11:39 am

Urm, I can't relate to that. I just tend to get patronized _a lot_ by the teachers who read my file. I read it once, and it says I have a disability, but it doesn't specify, so I end up being sent out of class with a TA encase I struggle reading a test... I have a reading and writing age way above my age.
But, yeah, I don't think I've got this before. Seems an impolite thing to do...
EMZ=]



sillyputty
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,793
Location: Colorado

27 Feb 2009, 12:49 pm

That is a just plain rude thing to say to someone. I wouldn't take it to heart.


_________________
Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any.


Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

27 Feb 2009, 1:37 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?


i am trying to learn to look past the way people look and act because there is so much more to persons than meets the eye. i can see you are an intelligent person from the way you write.



mackenzie
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 26
Location: Portland, OR

27 Feb 2009, 2:15 pm

I feel like I get that response more often when I'm doing or thinking about things differently than when I'm doing them wrong. For example, my current math professor seems to think that I'm not very smart, and actually went so far as accusing me of cheating on our last exam, merely because I do the problems differently, even if I get them right. Granted, I didn't take my introductory math courses here, so I have a different mathematical background than most of the other students, and I'm also very bad at explaining my thinking. Which certainly doesn't help.



Asterisp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 956
Location: Netherlands

27 Feb 2009, 3:13 pm

It could be a thing people just say and then you should not put to much value to it. But if it is mean as a disappointed reaction, to trigger you, than you should take it serious.

So the problem is probably, when do you need to take it serious? Probably when people give you pointers and advice to do it better next time.



SpongeBobRocksMao
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,978
Location: SpongeBob's Pineapple (England really!)

27 Feb 2009, 4:04 pm

I don't think it hasn't happened to me much but it just sounds rude for someone to do something like that. However, there are times when I may look like an idiot when I don't understand "the simplest of tasks."


_________________
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBobRocksMao!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
SpongeBobRocksMao!


Mudboy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,456
Location: Hiding in plain sight

27 Feb 2009, 4:36 pm

If I like them, I ask them how they would feel if I was as smart on the common sense side as I am on the intellectual. I let them know i am human and the reduction in common sense is the price I have to pay for being so much smarter than them. :nerdy:

If I don't like them, I tell them off... :evil:


_________________
When I lose an obsession, I feel lost until I find another.
Aspie score: 155 of 200
NT score: 49 of 200


Liresse
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 14 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 332
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

27 Feb 2009, 4:54 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that." or the few times it has outright been stated. It is so demeaning to have people devalue the other abilities I have simply, because I don't fit into the standard mold.
Anyone else come across this condescending NT attitude?
I would say YESSS. But I also know that I often misread people and substitute a negative meaning for something I noticed them do (such as turn away or pause for too long or change the topic, etc).

Exception for my father. He has expressed in no uncertain terms that he's disappointed/disbelieving that I'm not as intelligent as he thought I should have been (because he thought he was highly intelligent and therefore if he was my father that I should be too). He's also the one who point-blank refuses that I have any autism at all and that I'm foolish for labelling myself or seeing a psychiatrist (he's a psychology graduate). (He thinks psychiatrists are stupid.)

I remember many times throughout my life when I tried to do laundry (or something) and failed, and he would get frustrated with me and say the Cantonese equivalent of "foolish." He never tried to make it easier for me - maybe because he has always believed in "if it's not working, you have to do more of it." (eg he's allergic to pollen so he believes he has to immerse himself in pollen to "get over it.") He applied this philosophy to every situation I failed in, as if this was a form of structured punishment that would help me improve, and that the self-deprecating/self-loathing i had would go away when I finally listened to him and got better as a result.

I suspect that's my dad's attitude rather than people's attitudes to me generally (although I really don't know sometimes - see above)... and besides, I don't know if he's really all that NT, lol.


_________________
- Liresse


Last edited by Liresse on 27 Feb 2009, 5:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

mitharatowen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,994

27 Feb 2009, 4:58 pm

My mom used to say that to me all the time. My husband doesn't say that but a variant: "You should be smarter than that"



TheSpecialKid
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 447
Location: Denmark

27 Feb 2009, 5:55 pm

Pook wrote:
I can't remember the times people have looked at me like "I thought you were more intelligent then that."


Now for something that might be a dumb question. But how exactly does that "look" looks like?



Mudboy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,456
Location: Hiding in plain sight

27 Feb 2009, 11:48 pm

Image


_________________
When I lose an obsession, I feel lost until I find another.
Aspie score: 155 of 200
NT score: 49 of 200


FePixie
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 190
Location: NZ

28 Feb 2009, 12:00 am

giggles @ ^^^

Yup - thats the very look 8O



Who_Am_I
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,096
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

28 Feb 2009, 12:01 am

For all of my life, people have been saying to me, "You're so smart, how can you be so stupid?"


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Pook
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 412

28 Feb 2009, 10:35 am

Cute kitty..Yeah that look :roll: :wink:

I don't think I would be as sensitive about it except I have a Anxiety Disorders dx which makes most interactions twice as difficult. If I'm not obsessing then I may have panic over any situation. That leaves very little evergy for actual work and feeling competent.
It has made employment for me near impossible it seems...