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Bowie
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03 Mar 2009, 6:01 pm

Small Talk is my foe.

I know socially it's required & that means sometimes I try it but in doing so I'm buying into something my hearts not in, which, I think, is why I'm bad at it and why I feel I am perceived as 'lacking social skills'.

In social situations I'm content to focus on my own thoughts. I find them more interesting, usually, than what's going outside my mind. But I know this freaks people out, so ironically when I start to feel less than confident, I try to do the small talk, but I usually regret doing so in the end because what comes out is perceived as strange or weird.

I'd like to be able to just give up Small Talk altogether but feel doing so would make peoples views of me even more extreme



beareater
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03 Mar 2009, 6:16 pm

if u dont talk other peoples views of u are not extreme wtf, ull just be looked at as dull even if u think u have more to offer which is good

so u want to get better

and plus u can eavesdrop on many peeps chatting, outside, at a house, gym, whatever and ull find that some are cool and others just FORCED

so when u small talk think about ADDING somethin new or at least pleasant

u cant just be good at it, i mean those people u were with may have much more experience with s**t like that, maybe they grew up in a family that TALKED a lot, they remembered a lot

my family for example, we didnt have too many conversations, just some standard communication....even tho its NOT required now days to small talk i liked it

u can simply start off by reading a good newspaper daily, forming opinions and then just mentioning the interesting parts

but to be honest guy, it mostly has to do with ur MOOD

i cant talk AT ALL when im in a bad mood, i literally dont know what to say, but on the contrary im not as lost u just appreciate life more in those moments



Bowie
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03 Mar 2009, 6:32 pm

say your in a group of 5 people, the other 4 are all engaging in small talk, your listening/thinking...the longer it goes on without me joining in, the more i start to feel in the spot-light, the worse it gets, then i start to think people are aware i havent said anything for a long time, start to feel like that makes people suspicious- but maybe that's paranoia on my part?



whitetiger
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03 Mar 2009, 8:08 pm

I feel like I have to think fast and think of meaningless facts. Weather.. ok let's see.. Have I noticed that today?


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Dussel
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03 Mar 2009, 8:48 pm

I have difficulties with "small talk"; I consider this always as a waste of time and I try to turn to talk to something interesting (at least for me).



SpongeBobRocksMao
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04 Mar 2009, 12:25 pm

Small talk is very hard for me too. As my social skills stink and I end up looking or sounding weird. Which is why I don't like it.


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Sallamandrina
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04 Mar 2009, 2:30 pm

Small talk bores me out of my mind and it's so unfamiliar to me. Besides, why bother talking if you don't really have anything to say?!


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Whimsi-Cal
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04 Mar 2009, 2:35 pm

I was shooting baskets at the park and some kid asked if he could play with me. I said yes and 20 minutes latter I realized I hadn't introduced myself. LOL "Oh btw my name is Calvin". Yeah small talk is boring and I often avoid it entirely.



SabbraCadabra
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05 Mar 2009, 3:17 pm

I just ignore small talk...eventually they'll go "You're pretty quiet, huh?" and I'll go "Yep." and that takes care of that ;)


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howzat
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05 Mar 2009, 3:20 pm

I never understood small talk to be honest.



MONKEY
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05 Mar 2009, 3:21 pm

Small talk isn't natural to me and is often forced, but there are these really rare occasions where I just small talk with someone randomly and I end up feeling really proud of myself I think of how socially amazing I am for about a few minutes, but it goes back to the usual afterwards


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Learning2Survive
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05 Mar 2009, 3:33 pm

you can improve your small talk skills by practice

say:

Hi how are you?
how is your day going?



SabbraCadabra
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06 Mar 2009, 2:14 pm

Learning2Survive wrote:
Hi how are you?
how is your day going?


That's the problem...even with a script to go on, it feels forced to use it (and I'm sure it comes across that way to anyone even halfway attentive). There's also a 75% chance they'll deviate from it, and then you'll be right back where you started, if not worse.


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Kaysea
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06 Mar 2009, 2:21 pm

Whimsi-Cal wrote:
I was shooting baskets at the park and some kid asked if he could play with me. I said yes and 20 minutes latter I realized I hadn't introduced myself. LOL "Oh btw my name is Calvin". Yeah small talk is boring and I often avoid it entirely.


Don't fret... NT's do this quite frequently, as well.



Homer_Bob
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06 Mar 2009, 2:35 pm

I suck at small talk unless it's about a subject that I like or can relate to. If someone tells me things that I don't like or care about, I sometimes just agree with them by saying, yeah, yeah just so I don't appear as rude. Fifty percent of the time, I probably didn't even hear what they said because my mind is on something else.



Icheb
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06 Mar 2009, 2:40 pm

When forced to small talk, I will usually take the initiative and start talking about something that interests me - something that's been in the papers and that the other guests are likely to have read about.


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