Are you just going to let your symptoms beat you?

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And its not just aspies either. But there's a lot of it on this site. Does anyone else here actually face their fears and put themselves in those awkward situations? The one thing that can get on top of me is phobia of germs. But i'll find a happy medium. I dunno about you lot, but i'll never just rest on my laurels, i'm driven to succeed. I'll keep striving untill I die, and then maybe someone will say what I did in the world was good. What the hell is impossible? People on here are saying they can't do this or that. Bollocks, it can be done. Winners never quit, quitters never win.

I agree with you 100%. I am going through my first year in college, and I am giving it my all. I also have a decently paying job. I am talking to people at college and at work. I definitely think, despite times I just want to hide in the dark corner of my room, I will succeed in this life.

Cheers to trying.

"Anyone that rests on their laurals are wearing them in the wrong place."
Groucho Marx

I have to face my fears every morning when I go to work. I don't like to work and I have come to detest my job. However, I do like to be warm on a cold night and a dry place to sleep and food in my belly, so I am terrified enough to face my fears and go to work.

I can't work AND look for another job, I don't have the energy for it, so I get up, suit up and show up. Again.

Merle

You will, yes.

Thats good. But you don't wanna just settle for second best? Its brave of you to do, but it would be braver to follow your dreams. I feel tired to do all the other stuff as well as working. But just do it. Once you do find that other job more suitable, you'll have more energy. Seriously, I think going on the computer, replying to messages and forums is draining.

I used to think I'd never amount to anything or be able to achieve my goals, but I've decided to quit thinking like that. I'm a young adult now and I want to start acting like one, which is why I'm working towards my GED. It's the very first step towards my life goals. A small step, but it's a small step in the direction I would like to go.

"A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step."

It's funny - everytime I have to get dressed up and go out for a simple little lunch with family or whatever - I have to totally psych myself up. I freak out.

But if it means jumping out of an airplane, or presenting in front of hundreds of people, or changing a tire on the snowy interstate, or trapping a wayward rattlesnake, or tightrope walking across the frozen Potomac (ok - I haven't done THAT - but its a cool fantasy) - I enjoy the thrill and adrenaline. The adrenaline does exactly what its supposed to do and numbs the fear and can actually be addicting.

I am learning to enjoy that same adrenaline rush when going to a dinner party or make small-talk with a stranger in the elevator. Or looking at my bills.

In the end - fear is my friend. Boredom and apathy are my biggest enemies.

Thats swearing Yep, good luck. Its true, have to start somewhere.

how about RETURNING to the summer camp the year after you were EVERYONE'S laughing stock? try shaking hands and talking to the guys who ridiculed on a daily basis.

I had to learn to overcome or work around my fears and symptoms or I would not have survived.

Some of the younger Aspies have had too much done for them. The first book I read about Asperger's recommended removing as many stressors as possible from the child's life and creating a special room where the child would feel perfectly comfortable. My reaction was: What on earth are these kids going to do when they have to face the real world?

On the other hand, I do think it is wise to recognize my limitations. Stressing myself out to the point that I meltdown or shutdown is counterproductive. It's important to strike a balance.

Some people really can't do this or that. Everybody is different. If you can handle it, that's good. You have to do the best you can with what you have.

People come here for a reason. No thanks to the worthless shrinks I've seen over the years, I had to figure it out for myself and find this place on my own. That's AFTER I was pushed to the wall and completely out of options. I would never have found this place if my life weren't hopeless. If I ever do get out of this mess, I'm sure I will spend less time here. (But it would still be my home-base when I have time for the internet.) The point is that it's an illusion. People come here because they have problems, and when when they figure it out they probably don't need the place as much.

That's me, on the rare occasion I have a job. And in the past few years, they've gotten more and more depressing. I had good jobs in the distant past. The kind of crap I get now is so depressing, it's worse than staying home.

I think you younguns lucked out in getting a diagnosis early. Then again, you're starting out in a rotten economy, which can do a number on your self-esteem. It's hard to know whether to blame the Aspergers or the general bad times. I'm not sure which is worse.

your ahead of the game, in your own way. my dad is your age and he has obvious Asperger's. Still he thinks he will be a NT if he tries hard enough. He does not understand what AS is or that he might have it. You are right, my life is so much easier now that I understand myself better.

I think this is a really good topic.

I've tried listening therapy, occupational therapy, the Wilbarger Protocol, etc. for my sensory problems.

I stay in counseling but I only go to AS specialists because I wasted years in therapy (Like Tahitii said,) with trying to find out psychological reasons for being the way I am, when in truth, it is neurological! Therapist are not educated on the subject much AT ALL. Still, I stay in counseling.

I set goals every day and try to achieve them (I use 43things.com.)

I think NT's and AS's need to keep pushing themselves.

It's easier to face up to things you fear than to keep on fearing them. Actually, once you start working on it, the fear starts steadily decreasing. You just have to work on it slowly enough that you don't flood yourself and reinforce the fear. That is, if it's any more than mild anxiety, you back off and come back later. Just so long as you keep coming back deliberately, you'll eventually be able to handle whatever it is you're scared of. Pretty simple. (Most people with social phobia are scared that they'll either embarrass themselves, hurt somebody else, or do something that confirms some negative opinion they have of themselves. Once you learn to tolerate embarrassment with minimal stress, you can consider yourself cured of that particular phobia.)

You can't do that with everything though. Sensory overload doesn't necessarily respond to "trying to get used to it" tactics. Sometimes it's much easier just to adjust the environment. Sensory overload isn't like a fear response; it's not learned, but practically hard-wired in. You can be afraid of things that also cause overload, naturally, but they're two different phenomena.

Trying to just bash your way through whatever problems are bothering you isn't generally the best way to go about it. You only have so much will power to spread around and if you try too hard for too long you'll simply burn out. Those high-energy methods will only get you so far; better to work smart, find different ways to do things, find ways around the problem, maybe get help if you need it. Doing things differently or slowing down isn't "giving up"; it's allocating your resources where they'll do the most good.

I believe I can do whatever I really am motivated to do. If someone wants something enough, they will do whatever it takes to accomplish it.

Things that rely on other people's cooperation can be more difficult, though, since you can't make anyone do anything they do not want to do.

Just remember "do whatever it takes" doesn't mean "try hard". It can mean that partially, but it mostly means figuring out a way that works for you and your particular set of skills, instead of just throwing pure effort at the problem. The belief that you can do anything if you try hard enough is a fallacy. Effort isn't the only reason for success; and lack of effort isn't the only reason for failure. There are plenty of other internal and external factors that go into the whole thing, and while some effort is necessary, you can't just go thinking that "I tried my hardest; that means I'll succeed."