Why Am I Struggling More Now Then Before?

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Good question. It could be because I am older, as when I was younger I naturally could cope with life more.
But I believe I had reached a point when I could not cope with life..
I know that I struggle to find any "Fight" left inside of me, while in the past I had plenty of fight in me. Its like I reached a point... Well, let me describe it.... Has any of you tried rock climbing? Now I am not one for heights, but if I have to go up, I would much rather climb a rockface then a ladder. Rocks are solid. Ladders wobble! But back to the point. While in my early 20's I was on a course where a small part of it was rock climbing and absailing. Not something I wanted to do but we had to do it. Others went up first. We had a safety rope round us as well held by our guides and a solid tree on the top. It was about 50ft of rockface at a guess. I was watching others who struggled about three quarters of the way up. I was examining the rock face and I thought to myself "Why are they going over there? Isn't this area to climb quicker?
Well, I wanted to impress, and I had planned my route out in my head, only I had underestimated my body height and my ability to reach. Now this rock cliff had a slight angle to it it was roughly a large flat rock that leaned in the easier direction for climbing it. It wasn't completely flat and smooth as it had convenient cracks and thin ledges. However, the route I took was straight up and fast but I soon discovered why others had not chosen this route. I only had about the length of my body left to reach the top where I found myself in a position of having nothing left to grab hold of with my hands. The whole area around both my hands was dead flat and smooth. I had pushed up with my legs (I had very strong legs) and uh-oh! Well. I was safe where I was as I was leaning into the angle of the rock and my feet had grip... The angle was just enough to hold me... But now what? I didn't have far to go and the thought of going down... I had mentally prepared myself for the going up, but not down. I couldn't get my mind to even look down to look for foot holds... I looked to the guys above who were taking the course, who were well impressed with my rapid process (A rapid process driven by fear of "Lets get this over with quick!" as I practically sprinted up if there is such a term for climbing!) and I said "Ummm Can you pull me up a bit?" Fortunately they did, and about a foot higher then I was able to reach there was a thin ledge my fingers could grasp and I was able to pull myself from there up the final little bit.

Now why is this relevent? Why share this story? I have reached a point in my life where I need this pull up. I am stuck. I can't go back. But without a little help, I am stuck. This is why the autism assessment is so important to me. I need a small bit of help at this stage in my life to pull myself up so I can grasp onto something solid with my fingers so I can get some forward momentum going again! So for now, I am stuck on this cliff. As long as I don't get a really strong wind, I am safe where I am, but I am stuck. So I have a wait for assistance... It maybe a long wait, but while waiting I can't do anything. I am unable to work haing no "Fight" left in me to cope. I can't declare myself sick (Unfit for work) as I have nothing official to go by. I am completely stuck. I am safe were I am but it is not where I want to stay. It is a temporary place to be, and the longer I remain here the more I deteriate. The less chance I have any "Fight" left in me to survive the climb and get myself back in a better position. A position where I can move forward again.

Anyone else relate to this? Are you "Stuck?" And being stuck may not just be on a mental and/or a physical level. One can be spiritually stuck as well, where one is stationary... Just needing a prayer to help. A type of prayer which only another can give. One does not have any way to grasp to move forward... any spiritual handholes to grasp onto to pull oneself up... And one needs a rope of prayer to be tugged to help one back ready to fight the battles in life.

Anybody relate to this? Anyone need prayer?

*(Moderators... If deemed in the wrong part of the forum, could it be moved? Tanks. )

Not sure how the system works where you are, but where I am a person who is really struggling can show up at the Emergency Room of a hospital and say that they feel 'unstable, unsafe, mental,' or whatever term they like and get thrown in the nut hut for a few days. That would jump start the process and get them in front of a mental health professional. A place to talk about what's happening and what they've been going through. There's always a risk though that they may not see what you see in yourself.
Personally, I know from experience that living an entire life with undiagnosed ASD is exhausting. I can't say I feel rejuvenated just with a diagnosis, but at least it's an answer.
I will say a prayer for you MG, I hope that you get jumped to the top of the list for help soon.

I would continue to produce new trains.

And think about trains in general.

And maybe let your religion stabilize you.

You’re a nice guy.

Persephone

Your statement is correct but the OP does not sound like he needs to get sent to 5150

Merely having a hard time, is not a Mandated Reporter violation

The insurance and clinics offer counseling

Once someone gets 5150ed, they can't buy guns, it goes on their medical records. Jobs with security clearance won't hire them. The 5150 itself could be traumatic

In United States

Don't know about Wales

It’s the California Baker Act.

Mountain Goat is in Wales.

I just sense MG needs to find a little balance.

Maybe WP is helping?

I would do emergency rooms and hospitals as a last resort.

Thank you everyone.