Being overwhelmed by people:

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I am wondering if anyone else gets overwhelmed and dragged along.

This guy at my church was trying to sell me life insurance. I said no at first but said, hey maybe I will buy a share of GE or soemthing just for fun. But, he went and made up a whole package, etc. for the insurance.

I am VERY aut when it comes to this kind of thing. I don't understand the concept of life insruance. I mean I KNOW what it's for, but I do't give a rat's ass about it and could care less. I don't understand a lot of these social concepts. And that is one.

I dont care if I end up in the street and am not fazed by homeless shelters. I lived with no heat for 4 years and did not care because I sat in my kitchen doing languages and happy. Money does not make me happy. Heat does not make me happy. Food does not make me happy., My languages make me feel happy and safe. I am very aut like that!

Well, I was dumbfounded and felt caught in the situation to such an extent that I turned off and began to slide back into the background as he talked, marvelling at how incredible stupid the product was and nodding my head in agreement to everything he said. I was absolutely blown away that anyone would be so wrapped up in this meaningless bs.

I was like a scientist watching the whole thing fom afar and now he has this whole package and wants me to cough up cash. Like a bit and then establish this working relationship. When I have no idea what he is talking about and I don't understand the concept much less do I care.

I am finding it very hard to suddenly say GTF away from me because he goes to my church and put so much effort into this. Plus he has no idea that I am AUT and suddenly pulling away would feel awkward. I am NOT aut in the way that I care, but I am finding a lot of us really do care. And I think that diagnostic critera is just wrong for may of us. We are nice people!

So I want to be nice and I want to appear "normal," but I am not sure how to do this.

Generally in the past I would suddenly disappear and never go back, but I have found a church that I actually like and people that may think I am bizarre but accept me. Took 20 years, but I found it.

From the outside I know most of you will say just tell him.

I know I know........but has anyone else gotten into these jams and how did you get out of them? You know, teacher talking you ito taking a class you hate, partner talking you into signing a martgage, etc etc etc???

I would love feedback.

Thank you.

I guess this would count as one of those things where you just have to grit your teeth and get through it as fast as you can. Prepare a speech, even. The main words that spring to mind are, "No, thank you. I don't want it." As to keeping it civil because you go to church with him, it's just the chance you have to take. You don't want it and it will cost you money. It's his job to be pushy, but it's unethical in my opinion to unleash a sales pitch on a fellow church member. We've been told not to use our member phone list to sell things, for example. Similar concept. Even if you just have to keep saying, "No, thank you. I really don't want it," over and over like a mantra, do it. Salesmen will keep on, asking questions, looking for a reason why you're saying no, so that they can tell you how they can remove that obstacle and make the sale.

And I have from time to time found myself in a corner like this, though not so much with salesmen by rather with do-gooders and busybodies. I loathe pushy people and my only defense has been out-and-out rudeness. But, I reason, how much more rude is it to pressure someone this way? I think it's the height of insolence. What I've learned is to cut them off early. This is because I have had too many times (and I can only think of one right now, that's too many. I'm sure there's more) where someone would offer their uninvited opinion about my life and instead of keeping my answers short and careful, I responded to the pressure by making excuses why I didn't do things the way they thought I should. And since this is the sort of person who would have the cheek to tell you how to live your life in the first place, it's also the sort to argue with every excuse you make in order that they might be rewarded with a full acknowledgment of their wisdom. They honestly think you're applying to them for help in being the way they think you should be. It's just one of the many reasons why I avoid conversation now.

Thanks for the advise and I am getting courage to even formulate a plan. THat's a start. I don't have tos ee him till tomorrw. The trouble is he went all out with like 6 different prospectuses and it must have taken him a long time. See, that is when I shold have said NO just like Irish said. I must learn to cut them off at the start but I always kind of smile and act interested just to avoid being mean.

So I have to stop it before i am giving him $60 a month for premiums!

I will keep you posted and I will tell him kindly. If he gets pushy I will just walk away AUT style.