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timeisdead
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28 Mar 2009, 12:32 pm

I care less about being well liked and more about having whatever I desire. If some feelings need to be hurt in order to do what I feel is right or to accomplish my goals, so be it.



timeisdead
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28 Mar 2009, 12:33 pm

I aggressively pursue my interests until it yields the desired result and never give up until I prevail.



sartresue
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28 Mar 2009, 12:34 pm

Trait as an arrow topic

Sure. OK. 8)


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28 Mar 2009, 2:16 pm

What's the difference between a none aspie doing this and an aspie doing this? Would it mean they have that trait too?


Even my own mother has the same attitude. She doesn't care what people think or if they don't like her and if she accidently hurts someone's feelings she apologizes but if the person still isn't over it, too bad their problem and she moves on.



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28 Mar 2009, 3:39 pm

I don't think it is an AS trait because it is not logical. The lack of compassion conflicts with the golden rule, and other morals many of us have.


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timeisdead
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28 Mar 2009, 3:41 pm

Mudboy wrote:
I don't think it is an AS trait because it is not logical. The lack of compassion conflicts with the golden rule, and other morals many of us have.


What if you believe that compassion should only be reserved for those who are deserving?



stonemask
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28 Mar 2009, 4:16 pm

that doesn't sound like an aspie or NT trait. It just sound like you value strength over peace.


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28 Mar 2009, 4:22 pm

timeisdead wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
I don't think it is an AS trait because it is not logical. The lack of compassion conflicts with the golden rule, and other morals many of us have.


What if you believe that compassion should only be reserved for those who are deserving?


Were you brought up catholic by any chance??!

Please clarify criteria for deserving compassion!



DW_a_mom
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28 Mar 2009, 4:35 pm

I would suggest it's a value choice, not AS v. non. My AS son doesn't think that way and I know NT's who do.

What IS AS, IMHO, would be not NOTICING the collateral effect of single mindedly pursuing your own goals, even IF one did care.


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Mudboy
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28 Mar 2009, 4:41 pm

The ethic of reciprocity is universal moral in spiritual teaching around the world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethic_of_reciprocity
What goes around comes around. If you hurt the feelings of others too much, you will find more hurt directed towards you. I want my life balanced on the side of good, so most people are good towards me.


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mirna
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28 Mar 2009, 4:43 pm

that's not logical to me.



Mudboy
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28 Mar 2009, 4:57 pm

mirna wrote:
that's not logical to me.

Logic of Ethical Reciprocity according to Aristotle:
"The problem of 'rectificatory justice' has nothing to do with punishment proper but is only that of rectifying a wrong that has been done by awarding damages...The parties are treated as equals and the wrongful act is reckoned as having brought equal gain to the wrongdoer and loss to his victim. It brings A to the position of A + C, and B to the position of B - C. The judge's task is to find the arithmetical mean between these, and this he does by transferring C from A to B.
In other words it is actually suffering that which you have done to another.


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EnglishLulu
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28 Mar 2009, 5:47 pm

timeisdead wrote:
I care less about being well liked and more about having whatever I desire. If some feelings need to be hurt in order to do what I feel is right or to accomplish my goals, so be it.
If you're actively hurting someone's feelings in order to pursue or achieve your own goals, then that might be selfishness or narcissism or something?

I think it would be more of an Aspie trait if you didn't particularly care what other people thought, through not caring about NTs social rules or conformity and/or lacking empathy, not being able to appreciate that your actions would hurt other people. iyswim?



kaitlyn_loves_music
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28 Mar 2009, 6:32 pm

no i know alot of people who could care about being liked.



timeisdead
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30 Mar 2009, 12:08 am

Mudboy wrote:
I don't think it is an AS trait because it is not logical. The lack of compassion conflicts with the golden rule, and other morals many of us have.


But why should the golden rule apply to those who don't deserve it?



timeisdead
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30 Mar 2009, 12:09 am

EnglishLulu wrote:
timeisdead wrote:
I care less about being well liked and more about having whatever I desire. If some feelings need to be hurt in order to do what I feel is right or to accomplish my goals, so be it.
If you're actively hurting someone's feelings in order to pursue or achieve your own goals, then that might be selfishness or narcissism or something?

I think it would be more of an Aspie trait if you didn't particularly care what other people thought, through not caring about NTs social rules or conformity and/or lacking empathy, not being able to appreciate that your actions would hurt other people. iyswim?


And I DON'T care about social rules and conformity.