Overly Sensitive Aspies

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I have heard NTs refer to me as different, weird, too quiet, snobby ect. It is painful to feel like no matter how hard I try I am a social freek. It doesn't matter that I am fairly well traveled, educated, have a huge heart, like animals, love to learn, enjoy art and music, and cook. NTs only notice that I appear nervous and may stutter, I may stare and not realize it immediately, I am not athletic or as a female one I don't enjoy gossip. So this therefore equals strange which means there is something wrong.

Well lets reverse this. I consider NTs strange as they say one thing and mean another, they rip each other to pieces over nothing, they are not very loyal and quite a few tend to think to highly of themselves. And they think they have x number of friends when in reality if they heard what was said by these friends they would most likely deck them. So those are a few reasons I consider them weird

Back to the question. Are we just to serious? Is it competive to want to be "almost everyone's friend?" Or we trying to convince ourselves that we matter and count becauses x number of Aspies and NTs seem to like us. Or is there OCD coming into play in the case of needing so much reasurrance? Or maybe our expectations and selfset standards in the social department are simply too high and out of reach for the average person? ie We arn't being logical about it...

I think we put unfair expecations on ourselves. My goal upon moving to Oregon was to make one friend. I've been here three months with many acquaintances. I HAVE gone out of my way trying to get people to like me.. knocking myself out as usual.

It's my pattern. I try to be "super-friend" so my freakishness will be overlooked later. It rarely, rarely works.

I agree with you that most NT's have some serious problems with hypocrisy and lack of loyalty.

I think that we are more serious than NT's. They turn everything into a joke. It drives me mad! I don't mind being too serious. I can joke around at times, but I don't overdo it.
I agree with the hypocrisy and lack of loyalty thing too.
Another thing I noticed was that friends let down friends so much. I was on a forum last night and the NT's were talking about how their friends made plans without telling them or chose their bf/gf over them.
Why bother with it, I said.
I don't really care for friends. I am friendly with the people I know and further down the track I might meet more people. For some reason people like me for saying barely anything.

that makes sense to me.

I'm not a serious person to my friends, as I can rant away randomly to them, but whenever I'm talking to someone I don't know they're lucky to even get a smile out of me. I used to do the whole "well that guys likes me and that guys likes me and he thinks I'm okay..." thing to try make myself feel important, it worked brilliantly at giving me a bit of self-esteem so I could actually have a convo with anyone, albeit about something I didn't realise they didn't care about

You sound just like me and I've been called those things a lot too.
I definitely think that on general we are more serious than NTs. People around me seem to joke all the time and I find it very hard to know what to say as it is, never mind when the topic isn't even serious.
I don't understand how some people can be so disloyal, it seems cruel to me. I think that's partly why I like dogs so much; they are generally very loyal to their owners and are normally quite easy to 'read'. I wish I had a dog, lol.

Not all Aspies are the same. Perhaps you have reversed traits from others. It can be confuisng, to both the medical community and those of us here interacting with each other.

I encourage you to read this: http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic ... f_empathy_

The final words of the story:

“You can have so much empathy that it’s painful for you, so you have to disengage,” Pavlova says. “Sometimes autistic people are not insensitive; they’re too sensitive.”

I can definetly agree with much said here. I know that deep down NTs have the same insecurities and needs as Aspies, but for some unfathomable reason they don't like to show it or even discuss it. Reading different articles or editorials about such subjects only confirms this fact.

Perhaps Aspies run very deep where NTs are able to flit from day to day somehow numbing the pain many of us know as simply being human...I am at present working on my faith in God and loving myself as I have found that NTs will often find the tiniest flaw in a person to complain about. While mostly the compassion I've learned by being NT would shrug my shoulders and say "Is that something really worth making a big issue out of?"

Btw I did the "please everyone bunk" and my advisor in my practium got angry with me and called me a people pleaser to my face. And there begin my journey to find peace with God and myself instead of discovering a source in other flawed people like myself.

About making friends.. My process is to be exactly myself. I tried a lot in school to be popular... but found out they want nothing to do with you after they see who you really are... I learned that if I make myself visually unappealing or weird.... Then the people that come around are much better people that I ever met while trying to be pretty- and I even made friends with some of them. I don't know if that answered the question from the first page but I am trying xD



And I agree 100% and more with sjamaan. I have problems filtering my thoughts and the things around me.

I know I've been presumed to be a snob often, but what makes me shake my head is that others have told me I ask too many questions. Anybody else have these problems too