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hurtloam
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17 Aug 2017, 4:49 pm

After all these years and all the learning from situations as they arise and applying that to similar things when they come along, I still hit snags.

If I need to do something completely new I need very specific instructions otherwise I don't know what I'm doing. I've totally messed something up today. Feeling angry with the person I went to for professional advice. I went to 2 people, its not like it was just one person forgot to tell me. I feel like I had this thing vaguely explained, but I didn't pick up on it.

Do you ever get past the requiring specific instructions or will this always be a part of who I am?

Am I just stupid and not observant? I feel like I went over everything with a fine tooth comb. Grrr. I just missed this one crucial step that wasn't written down with all the other instructions.



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17 Aug 2017, 4:55 pm

It's a very common aspect of autism. I have difficulty with it to a large degree.



dragonsanddemons
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17 Aug 2017, 5:34 pm

Unfortunately I have no advice, but I have this problem, too. I also have always struggled with abstract or open-ended questions, where there isn't one right answer. For example, in English class, if we read a book and then watched a movie of the same book, I could spot every line that wasn't exactly the same, but I could also be unable to answer a single question on a worksheet about it because I wasn't sure what the teacher wanted for an answer.


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Dear_one
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18 Aug 2017, 6:38 am

For me, the instructions are just there to indicate the underlying logic of the procedure, which is what I follow. The instructions are like waypoints to check on as I go, if necessary.



mr_bigmouth_502
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18 Aug 2017, 6:54 am

It annoys the living f**k out of me when people won't give me specific instructions and they just assume I know what they want me to do. If you want me to do something a certain way, f*****g tell me! Don't leave me to guess!


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248RPA
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18 Aug 2017, 7:20 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
It annoys the living f**k out of me when people won't give me specific instructions and they just assume I know what they want me to do. If you want me to do something a certain way, f*****g tell me! Don't leave me to guess!
^^yeah, and then sometimes they get annoyed when you ask for clarification because — "Think about it! It's obvious!"


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Dear_one
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18 Aug 2017, 7:57 am

My ex would get mad when I asked for clarification, because she couldn't explain herself, and she'd start to realize she wasn't making sense. Then the shouting began.



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18 Aug 2017, 8:03 am

EzraS wrote:
It's a very common aspect of autism. I have difficulty with it to a large degree.


I am with you on this, that's me alright.


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18 Aug 2017, 8:35 am

Even though I have made significant improvements in my life over the last five years, in some areas, I feel as though I am stuck. Around certain people, it seems as though I make no progress. Maybe I'm just being hard on myself, but I am frustrated.



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18 Aug 2017, 9:23 pm

Completely get what you mean. My mom was trying to teach me how to clean a bathroom recently, and I just can't learn because there are too many vague, unclear things I need to do. Not to mention keeping track of everything I need to do! :D


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Dear_one
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18 Aug 2017, 9:42 pm

No two people will produce the same set of instructions for anything at all complex. We all tackle things a bit differently, and describe the methods according to our own understanding. I have even seen sports coaches who asked for completely extraneous "body english" and did not even understand how their equipment worked when going fast. Also, a brilliant inventor who could not understand that his way of maintaining his balance was unique, leading both to his great invention and to the troubles he had promoting it.
You may need to go through a long Q&A with people to develop a list of instructions that make sense to you.



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18 Aug 2017, 9:53 pm

248RPA wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
It annoys the living f**k out of me when people won't give me specific instructions and they just assume I know what they want me to do. If you want me to do something a certain way, f*****g tell me! Don't leave me to guess!
^^yeah, and then sometimes they get annoyed when you ask for clarification because — "Think about it! It's obvious!"


Yes!
I had a boss make a comment to a colleague stating "Does she have problems following instructions?"
No, I'm sorry I can't read between the lines of vague instruction you gave me and I'm too scared to clarify it because you appear to be highly irritated by me.



AquaineBay
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18 Aug 2017, 10:13 pm

I need specific instructions when it comes to doing things. Got an F on my last physics project in high school because the instructions the teacher gave us was not specific. Asked her multiple times to explain it better... and she would explain it the same way every. single. time.

Very irritating!



Edna3362
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18 Aug 2017, 10:23 pm

Lol, yes.

Mostly when people expects that I read their mind, or do as the would when that's impossible.
Like, when it comes to alternating groceries, what are their priorities? Prices? Brands? Unit? Of which? Of how many? And what type? Is it urgent? Etc...

I only see too many choices of options and actions when they only see and assume I know which are theirs. :x


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