massive change

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the place i have worked in IT for over 12 years is moving

...........

i can not describe the level of agony i feel
just found out a few hours ago
i wish i was a rock ... or anything else besides human
it is just a few miles
and closer to my home
i should be happy.... or so i am told
but i am not
i want to crawl out of my skin
i want to destroy everything i see
i want to hit my head a billion zillion times!! !! !! !! !!
why cant i be happy like my co workers are
i hate life so much right now
this feels like a bad nightmare

Why? I've moved offices before, it's kind of a hassle with all the cleaning up and packing and throwing crap out, but it's renewing too. IS there something about the new place you hate?

it is not where I am
what is safe and known
i know the places I can go to escape when i get sensory overload
iit just is where i am supposed to be....
i know it is my ASD stuff making it hard
but wow

Oh yeah, I can see that. But maybe your new place will be even better. THere's certainly no guarantee that it will be worse. I know what you're feeling though, hope you feel better soon.

That happened to me twice.
I hated it.

That sucks, sorry

You are having a reaction appropriate to your neurology
So to get through you need to do it in a way appropriate to your neurology, Try and break it down into a bunch of little changes that are easier to handle and hyperfocus on those. Stim/shutdown/hug yourself etc when you can as often as you can.

Good luck

Turtle-

You can survive this. There was a time you didn't work there, and you had to get familiar with the old place. This is going to be the same. You'll have to get used to the new place just like you did before.

If you're seeing a therapist or have a doctor you can talk to, this is certainly something to bring up, and you also have us here to talk to about it, but the short story is YOU CAN SURVIVE.

No, let me change that- You WILL survive.

You did it before, and can do it again. You're experienced at this type of thing, so you can even do better at it this time than the first.

Don't shortchange yourself. You CAN make it.

Also, there's the matter of the new building being closer to home. Try to find good things about this, and you will.

I don't have a job of course.
But up until last year I went to the same school since I started school.
And it was a school for autistic kids. Now I am in a different school. And It is a public school.
I don't think I will ever really adjust to that. Just adapt the best I can. Have had more meltdowns since then.

You guys are the best. It is so nice to have support about this instead of someone telling me all the good things about change and that I should look forward to it.
LOGICALLY I know all that stuff. This feeling is 2000x deeper than thought. It impacts my very core.

Was talking to mom about my problems with change. She said I have always had a hard time with any changes even as a baby. She said when I was about four that she bought a wig and came home with it on. She said I cried and cried and refused to talk to her or even look at her or eat anything for two days!
The doctor just told her I would outgrow it. They didn't know much in 1974 about that stuff.

I still feel like I have been run over by a train. But I do know I will make it. It just sucks.

I can definitely sympathize with what you are going through. I am currently moving from an office down into a cubicle on another floor because it will save my company money, and then in another year we are moving to an open office situation in another building, and I am having a terrible time dealing with all this. The only thing I can tell you that might help is to try to go explore the place where you will be be moving to, if possible. Getting to see where I will be working in the future greatly reduced my anxiety. For instance, I was able to sit in an cubicle and see what it would be like, and I also go downstairs and stand in the corner where my cubicle will be (it is being built this week). The only other advice I can offer is to practice general stress-relieving tips, like getting plenty of sleep and exercise, and eating healthy food. I am very sorry for what you are going through.

I was so upset when I heard about our move that I considered quitting, which would have been a really bad idea because generally it is a supportive work environment, and I have had employment problems in the past. I was just so upset and overwhelmed that the situation seemed intolerable. I was so visibly distressed and anxious at work that a couple of co-workers told me they were worried about me.

When my dad shaved his mustache off, I could barely look at him for a couple of days, and I wasn't even 4! I think I was around 11 - 12.