Would this bother you?

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Would it bother you if a significant other didn't take his medication as prescribed, skipping several doses a week; routinely forgot doctor's appointments; routinely abused adderal and asked you to hold it for him and give him one a day so that he won't abuse it; eats 2x what you do and won't contribute to the grocery bill, stating that is "charging him" for meals.

He's decided not to eat over here for a while. I feel freer. I get lost easily and cannot navigate my way around this town. Therefore, I depend on him to escort me everywhere, including esp. to my dr appts. I had to miss two last week because he forgot he had appts at the same time, after he'd agreed to take me!

Until I get "services" to help me navigate, I'm afraid to let him go.

You see, he's funny and patient and loving and kind and gentle and comforting when bad things happen to me. We have a pretty good relationship at times. It's just that I'm fed up with him lately.

Oh and he left my heat on full blast and then just left my apartment for the day. Twice, he has eaten all my chicken patties that I had intended to eat for sandwiches through the week. Each time, he said he wouldn't.

Am I just feeling bitchy because I'm cutting down on smoking? Or are these solid grounds to question wanting to be in a relationship?

sounds like he cannot manage his meds and is always addicted to something. i mean as long as he is not an addict and he is not a financial burden and he does not drag you down, you might as well just enjoy him for the man he is. if he eats your food, you can try to cook just a little for yourself and eat it quick (as bad as it sounds, it would work) he can cook for himself. i've eaten bread and water many times and ate brown rice with water or water and a banana just cuz i did not want to cook. or went hungry from morning to 8pm when i got home from work. not a big deal. if you stop feeding him, he might actually lose a few pounds

I think he sounds disrespectful, especially with the food thing. I can't say much about the adderall because I'm not exactly 'perfect' when it comes to drugs(although I've been good for over a year), but I doubt that he 'forgets' about the Dr. appts. He probably just don't feel like going(high, dope-sick, etc...), especially if it's not a 'prescription day'. Etc......

I'll just sum this up by saying that I get the impression that he is using you, and kissing your ass just enough that you won't leave him. He is disrespectful, and you have every right to be mad at him.

Either that, or he is a total dumb-ass.

Last edited by jawbrodt on 04 Apr 2009, 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes this would bother me. The partner not doing anything to help himself, not being very responsible, won't help with the bills. After being with my first bf, I certainly don't want to repeat that same mistake again by being with another guy who won't do those things.

Your bf sounds like the kind of guy who is lazy and doesn't want to pay money to help out with your grocery bill or do anything to help himself. That was what my ex did with me, he didn't want to give me money for gas anymore and complained about having to pay for his food and rent. he would have complained even more if I made him pay the cable bill too and the electric. He also didn't want to do anything to help himself. He wanted me to be his mother.
Also it sounds like your bf doesn't respect you, he eats your food and doesn't even replace them and turns up your heat and won't offer to pay part of the electric bill?

Dump the loser. Do not stay in it and make the same mistake I made three years ago. I think maybe the reason why you have him is because you want someone who can help you navigate through town and you don't want to be alone.

Not wanting to be alone is the reason why some women would keep their loser men. I was smart to dump mine three years ago because he was making me depressed and it was starting to take effect in my brain and I dared to not take him back.

I do not know if he is working or can work, but I think that if he can work then he should try to pull his weight in terms of the bills. I think that turning up the heat (then not paying towards the electric power bill) eating all the food and not helping out with the food is not right.

If getting lost around town is that bad, then try and get a cheap GPS machine or failing that a magnetic compass & map. I used to have a compass which attached to my windscreen, I found it very useful when out of town as I knew roughly which way the car was pointing.

Everyone who has commented before has been bothered. I wonder if it IS a respect issue. He's turned the heat up twice, the second time to the max, after I told him the first time not to. He ate my chicken nuggets before he ate all the chicken patties. I told him the first time to stop it.

He does have a low average IQ and learning disabilities, while I have a high average IQ and learning disabilities. But, this does not excuse this stuff. He always thinks he knows everything, won't listen to me and accuses me of being a know-it-all. The truth is, we probably both are.

But, his intellectual deficits may be why he misses so many appointments. But, I need someone in my life who will take care of his health, and he thinks I'm being critical when actually I'm concerned.

I just don't know how much longer I can put up with it.

Everyone who has commented before has been bothered. I wonder if it IS a respect issue. He's turned the heat up twice, the second time to the max, after I told him the first time not to. He ate my chicken nuggets before he ate all the chicken patties. I told him the first time to stop it.

He does have a low average IQ and learning disabilities, while I have a high average IQ and learning disabilities. But, this does not excuse this stuff. He always thinks he knows everything, won't listen to me and accuses me of being a know-it-all. The truth is, we probably both are.

But, his intellectual deficits may be why he misses so many appointments. But, I need someone in my life who will take care of his health, and he thinks I'm being critical when actually I'm concerned.

I just don't know how much longer I can put up with it.

Also, neither of us can drive, so we walk everywhere, so a GPS wouldn't help me. He works part time and makes more money than I do.

jeesh...i would have partaken ina few mighty meltdowns by this stage of the game, whitetiger.

I am sure he is a nice person...but i would have bopped him in the nose by now.

that last chicken pattie would have got to me.....

and i think the meds issue is a bit problematic. if one has to take them they need to be respected. and then you end up in an authoritarian role....
in fact, it does sound like you are playing "mummy" for him. med s distribution, meals, raiding the fridge......

he sounds a bit like me (except for the meds stuff...i knocked that kind of thing on the head (bang bang) over a decade ago.

and i would not want to be with me. I love who i am, but i wouldn't want me as a partner.

i hope you and he can sort these issues out or come to some kind of agreement or compromise so you can get on with the important business of liking each other.

Yes, it would bother me. Especially the missed appointments!

I was with someone like this, but they were far better than most in terms of organisational skills and responsibility. There are probably other issues contributing in your partner's case. I do know what you mean about being reluctant to let go because of the support that is provided.