I think we are too sensitive about being misunderstood.

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I would guess that even most neurotypical people are misunderstood in one way or anther. We are too senstitive. I think we allow being misunderstood to get to us too much and effect us more than it should.

Everyone definitely to spend less time lamenting and more time honing our articulacy

That way everyone else can easily make more and more sense of what you say

I so hate it when I get misunderstood. I get very defensive. I was accused of trolling in someone's thread on another forum and I got defensive and decided I would never reply to that person's posts again. Then it turned out that person wasn't even real and he was made up by my online friend so she was the one who accused me of trolling her thread which she posed as her online bf. Now I'm wondering if her mother is fake too. She does post like her daughter.

I don't want to be understood, just tolerated and accepted. It's a more realistic goal.

Let's see how you feel about that after you've been fired from your 25th job because coworkers think you're a weirdo and your bosses all think you're uncooperative because you can't do everything exactly the same way everyone else does.

That is another issue.

I am sorry things are difficult. Try and assimilate a little more.

Here is something you should try:

Since you always expect us to try and be normal and change, why don't you do the same for yourself? Then you would be able to hold downa job.

You can try and deny that Aspies get equally misunderstood as NTs, but they really don't(from my experience).
People will eventually get sick of being mis-understood. I've spent a lot of time doing things for school, only for no one to understand them. It gets annoying after a while. Either I just don't bother and perform at like 10% of my full potential, or get incredibly pissed off when no one understands the work I just spent 8 hours+ on.
And then there's the people who take what I say the wrong way. Not that I care about having friends anymore(gave up on that), but the number of people who have been offended when I was stating a fact, or just pointing out something, and decided to tell a bunch of other people, and then I end up with 10 people hating me.
So, IMO, it's perfectly understandable.
EMZ.

assimilation can work to an extent, but it's very tiring. NT's can adjust and read on the fly; but I have to mentally examine conversations and situations consciously, which can really slow you down. It tends to make me a little conservative in my dialog....

Well yeah I'm a really sensitive person. I just get annoyed if I need to constantly explain things more than 3 times.
I'm getting a little better at it though. I agree that NT's are misunderstood too, just not as much. I have to constantly think about what I'm saying, if it will make sense to the person I'm talking too.

Same here. I get annoyed when people don't seem to listen when I explain things to them and they still think the same thought even after I have corrected them. Are they stupid or what?

Then I realized on my own it's not that they are stupid, maybe they just don't believe me. When I think someone is full of it or they are lying, making up excuses, do my thoughts change when they say something else? No they do not so perhaps that's the case for those people too. That's how I realized it. So I decided I'll explain myself once or twice and then say after that "I have already told you" or "I have already explained it to you."

I don't think so. The label "You're being too sensitive" has often been used as a tactic to silence people who don't fit into mainstream convention, not just neurodiverse people, but Jews, people of colour, and women. I don't wish to abide by their rules, if I feel like someone is being insensitive, I'm going to speak out. They may learn something new, rather than if I kept my mouth shut

This. Just this.

I, and from what I see a majority of the people here, meet the normals more than halfway in almost every area of life. Those people who would just demand that we seamlessly assimilate into the mainstream, calling us out on the smallest of eccentricities, are spoiled, believing that they can have everything for nothing. Really, our only obligation to others is to be kind and polite - NOT to be normal. I honestly think that those who expect complete, unquestioning conformity don't need nor deserve any apologists.

Well this is exactly why I chose my username.

I get misunderstood a lot mainly having to do with trouble I had as a child. I had speech delayment and although I had trouble talking, I could understand what people were saying. I had teachers, kids, and other people think I was either a mute, shy, ret*d, or slow.

Articulating and communicating is still a bit of challenge to me and sometimes I use only the words I can process through thought before speaking or typing....and they aren't always the best of words. I've had people misunderstand me a lot because of this little challenge I go through.

So I admit I can get very sensative about it because it's hard as it is expressing how I really feel with other people. As far as comparing the aspect of aspergers to NTs...I wouldn't know.

Same... but I'm not sure it's so much assimilation as it is intelligence. In an argument almost all people I've been pitted against eventually, even online, end up either attacking my person or using dishonest technique as though trying to gain something which I don't understand even though they've either lost the argument or have no rational way to continue.

However the assimilation may come into play as an over-time concept where you can study peoples actions and take mental notes until it becomes an unconscious competence. Which is damn difficult, but extremely important if you want to last more than an hour in a normal conversation.

Of course there is never a why behind your learned actions... just a how that you need to remember.

I.E. When arguing with someone about a touchy subject and they start to become personal and defensive the key signs are that their rate of speech and physical motions become less composed and fluent. Like if two robots were boxing and one was running out of fuel and starting to malfunction. Once those things happen, or the person says something indicating that they are " offended ", it's time to stop unless you want to damage your relationship with this person. And if others are around you definitely need to stop, especially if your opinion is the minority in the group. Everyone else will silently disagree with you, and some may even join in against you, but in the end if you start dominating the argument and continue pressing on the group will assume nothing but negative things about you.


P.S. ... I think I literally just developed an understanding of that... or at least a better one, while typing it. I love ranting.

I've been assimilating for 50 years, punk. My social skills, such as they may be, are at their peak.

I'm seeing a great deal of crosstalk in this thread that seems to (ironically) confuse the issue. My understanding from the top was that we were discussing being misunderstood in a psycho-social sense, but I'm seeing posts that seem to assume we're talking about speech impediments. Which is it?

I can communicate verbally with a tremendous degree of clarity. I worked in broadcasting for 35 years, so having others understand my diction is simple. The problem for me has always been that my meaning, whether literal or figurative, often seems to whiz right over their heads, or become garbled in the synapses between their ears and their brains.