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Fin
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05 Apr 2009, 1:31 pm

Had a problem with being seen as eerie or spooky as a kid. Adults sometimes looked at me with fear in their eyes as though they were seeing something unnatural, and sometimes they'd unconsciously back away. I understood the quality I possessed that made them feel that way, but it didn't FEEL eerie to possess that quality -- it's only eerie when seen from the outside by an adult. Anyone else?



hester386
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05 Apr 2009, 1:35 pm

Others still often view me that way. Girls usually see me as a creepy weirdo, and I later learned that guys in high school often joked behind my back that I would someday be a school shooter, even though I NEVER had any such intentions. It can be quite frustrating to say the least. I think most of it stems from my facial expression, which is usually devoid of any emotions.



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05 Apr 2009, 1:45 pm

My "inappropriate" emotional expression once scared off a couple of bullies.

And I once had somebody say they were scared of me because I was intelligent and they thought I would try to make them look stupid. (I actually look more intelligent than I am because I have good verbal skills and speak rather formally--some people overestimate me.) I had no such plans, of course. What would be the point?


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dalcassian
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05 Apr 2009, 2:01 pm

Well, as I mentioned on the the thread, this was an experience I had too. My best friend in grade school would get in trouble anytime his parents found out he talked to me. Once we were in middle school, where his mom worked, he stopped talking to me altogether. I didn't understand it at the time, and was bitter with him for years over it.

I lived in a very religious and uneducated area, and a lot of people there thought I was somehow in league with the devil. Seriously. Someone, an older kid, tried to set me on fire once, and burned me pretty badly. She said she did it because I was a witch (and really I wasn't) and the adults were sympathetic with her, which I found to be even more upsetting. I carried the scar from that for many years as well (literally in this case).



hester386
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05 Apr 2009, 2:30 pm

dalcassian wrote:
Well, as I mentioned on the the thread, this was an experience I had too. My best friend in grade school would get in trouble anytime his parents found out he talked to me. Once we were in middle school, where his mom worked, he stopped talking to me altogether. I didn't understand it at the time, and was bitter with him for years over it.

I lived in a very religious and uneducated area, and a lot of people there thought I was somehow in league with the devil. Seriously. Someone, an older kid, tried to set me on fire once, and burned me pretty badly. She said she did it because I was a witch (and really I wasn't) and the adults were sympathetic with her, which I found to be even more upsetting. I carried the scar from that for many years as well (literally in this case).



OMG! That is one of the most messed up things I have ever heard in my life. I certainly hope you pressed charges?



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05 Apr 2009, 2:52 pm

Yes! Absolutely.

The other kids were always very uncomfortable by being around me. Some adults too, when they were around me as much as peers.

And though I'm older now, people are still uncomfortable to varying degrees around me today, because of my autism.

Other people expect me to do certain things in certain ways (and not to do certain things in certain ways), but because the autism only makes is appear as if their expectations were accurate, I never have the intention to do these things and I usually don't know that others think that I am how I am not.

This really freaks people out. They can't comprehend why I'm not like they imagine and expect me to be.

And being unsettled like that, it makes people nasty, even transform usually friendly people into bullies. Even the smallest potion of fear can cause massive aggression.


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equinn
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05 Apr 2009, 8:25 pm

Kids always seem in awe or taken aback by my son. They always stare at him, mouths agape. But, adults usually take to him well or not at all. It's instant. He has big big eyes and a bright smile. I don't think he's the least bit creepy looking.
He has beautiful eyes and a cherubic face.



marshall
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06 Apr 2009, 2:32 pm

I have this inkling that a lot of people think my quietness is intimidating. I'm a person with few words to say around people I don't know well.

I don't really want to be perceived this way because I like to think that I'm a pretty sensitive guy. I just don't know how to automatically appear super-friendly around someone I've just met. It just takes me a long time to build a repertoire of conversation topics with people I’m just getting to know. I have to know them better before I become better at talking.

I also have this thing where people think I'm very grave, sage-like. I sometimes shock people that I know things or say things that they wouldn't expect from a 'normal' person. They sometimes do this little laugh after I say something that's unintentionally clever or funny to them.



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06 Apr 2009, 3:39 pm

Fin wrote:
Had a problem with being seen as eerie or spooky as a kid. Adults sometimes looked at me with fear in their eyes as though they were seeing something unnatural, and sometimes they'd unconsciously back away. I understood the quality I possessed that made them feel that way, but it didn't FEEL eerie to possess that quality -- it's only eerie when seen from the outside by an adult. Anyone else?


That's the first time I've heard about something like this. People were actually spooked? I've never thought about that before. I wonder why they would get an eerie feeling from a kid? I bet this has something to do with that "feeling" that goes along with being neurologically different. NTs use their intuition to pick up on all sorts of things, even neurological differences.
I'm not sure if people were actually afraid of me. I know people didn't have much respect for me but them being spooked by me I am unsure of.



RoisinDubh
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07 Apr 2009, 9:37 am

dalcassian wrote:

I lived in a very religious and uneducated area, and a lot of people there thought I was somehow in league with the devil. Seriously. Someone, an older kid, tried to set me on fire once, and burned me pretty badly. She said she did it because I was a witch (and really I wasn't) and the adults were sympathetic with her, which I found to be even more upsetting. I carried the scar from that for many years as well (literally in this case).


Christ....I come from a town much like the one you're describing, and more than a few times it was suggested that I was somehow possessed. The worst anyone ever did to me, though, was suggest that I be exorcised! :roll: The people you're talking about, though....that's a special kind of messed up. Where exactly is it that you grew up?


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dalcassian
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07 Apr 2009, 7:50 pm

Roisindubh wrote:

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The worst anyone ever did to me, though, was suggest that I be exorcised! The people you're talking about, though....that's a special kind of messed up. Where exactly is it that you grew up?


A special kind of messed up! awesome phrase. I grew up in Eastern Kentucky, in the appalachian mountains. So maybe burning alive vs exorcism is a cultural difference between catholics and protestants, I'm not sure?

As for the person who suggested I pressed charges-- that might have been a good idea; but it seemed to me that all the adults other than my own parents were sympathetic to her, so it didn't really even occur to me at the time. Also, courts there are very nepotistic (and extremely hesitant to convict anyone of anything for any reason), which would have been unlikely to work in my favour.

Anyway, people who act like that eventually get themselves into enough trouble, and the person in question was no exception.



RoisinDubh
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08 Apr 2009, 6:36 am

dalcassian wrote:
Roisindubh wrote:

Quote:
The worst anyone ever did to me, though, was suggest that I be exorcised! The people you're talking about, though....that's a special kind of messed up. Where exactly is it that you grew up?


A special kind of messed up! awesome phrase. I grew up in Eastern Kentucky, in the appalachian mountains. So maybe burning alive vs exorcism is a cultural difference between catholics and protestants, I'm not sure?

As for the person who suggested I pressed charges-- that might have been a good idea; but it seemed to me that all the adults other than my own parents were sympathetic to her, so it didn't really even occur to me at the time. Also, courts there are very nepotistic (and extremely hesitant to convict anyone of anything for any reason), which would have been unlikely to work in my favour.

Anyway, people who act like that eventually get themselves into enough trouble, and the person in question was no exception.


WOW. Just WOW. I figured it didn't get much worse than small-town Irish Catholics, but I guess the rumours I've heard about southern American towns aren't all just stories.

Though, perhaps they would've been worse to me had I not become a tourist attraction in m stupid little tourism-centred town. In some places, a kid who's basically an autistic piano prodigy would be totally ignored, but where I grew up, I ended up as a sort of freakshow. Great fun.


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TobyZ
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08 Apr 2009, 3:28 pm

I think these kind of perceptions are the direct reasons for the symptoms of not having friends.

And I think we often get things backwards on symptoms. For example, I don't have trouble making eye contract with people - well, I do. I overcompensate and make TOO MUCH eye contact. I used to do staring contests with kids and would often win.

In modern day, staring at someone, especially of the opposite sex = creeps them out. Even if you are only doing it to show respect or to learn and understand other people.

It's the inability to finesse these things no matter how hard you work on it (including working hard at compensating for the overcompensation, ha).