Tardiness

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I've finally landed a summer internship.

Problem is, I've got major problems with tardiness. I get so easily stuck doing things that I put off leaving to go where I need to be, and I'm constantly late or at least in a hurry. Then I end up staying late, too, because I put off leaving.

Whatever I'm doing, something in me wants to keep doing it. And that makes me late. It's lost me at least one job already and might be a factor in others I've lost.

I can't be late to work with this internship. If you're late, people think you don't care. And no matter what precautions I take--even if I plan to be there half an hour early--I always end up late at least one out of five days. That's unacceptable.

I have a few months before summer, and I need to learn to be late no more than once every two months before then. Any suggestions?

Are routines any help for you? If I wake up at the same hour and do everything I need in the same exact order I can be ready in 30-45 min. And I always wake up 30 min earlier than I need just to be sure.

im always late for everything haha i have like a 2 second attention span, is it possible to make a list before you go to bed on what u have to do that night and check off every thing u do as you do it, so you can just wake up and go? lists usually help me a lot. Or a picture schedule marking down what u gotta do. anyways hope this helps alittle.

First of all, congratulations on landing your internship.

This advice might be helpful as it sounds like it addresses what you explained in your opening post:
"Walk out the door on time. Many people try to avoid downtime by "shoving in one more thing" just before they need to leave. This is called the "one-more-task syndrome" and it's a major obstacle to being on time. If you really want to beat this, the minute you think of squeezing in one more thing before you leave, just don't do it. Stop yourself in your tracks, grab your bag and walk out the door."

"If you are literally always 10 minutes late, it's psychological. You're arriving exactly when you want. The question is 'why?'"

Time Management

Linda Sapadin, PhD, author of Master Your Fears on "Choosing to be Late":

"The answer to why one would choose to be late depends on your personality type. For some people, it's a resistance thing. It's a carryover of rebelliousness from childhood. They don't want to do what other people expect them to."

"Another category is the crisis-maker, someone who thrives on the minicrisis of running late. These are people who cannot get themselves together until they get an adrenaline rush. They need to be under the gun to get themselves moving."

Not saying any of this applies to you, but thought it was interesting and might be helpful to you.

Last edited by cosmiccat on 10 Apr 2009, 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Use multiple alarm clocks. I have an alarm clock and then the one on my phone is set to go off 5 minutes after the clock. I also set my alarm clock ten minutes fast.

If you're using mass transit, try to take an earlier bus/train than the one you actually need.

Routine really does help. If I keep everything the same, I can get ready in time for most things. Go to bed at a decent hour to get enough sleep, that way exhaustion won't exacerbate executive dysfunction.

I have that. The lists are posted on my wall where I can refer to them, and slowly being memorized. It's why I'm late only once a week instead of every day.

Yes. I do wait for deadlines to keep myself moving. That is one of the ways I make myself do schoolwork. It's maladaptive, and I'm actually doing it right now (I'm supposed to be studying chemistry), but it seems to be the only way I can overcome inertia at all, short of being very interested in what I'm supposed to be doing.

During the day I'm late most often because I have trouble suddenly dropping something that I'm in the middle of. If I'm late for the first thing in the day it's because I had a bad morning. Mornings suck so much for me when I get depressed. Sometimes moving my body feels like I'm dragging a dead carcass.

In any case it has nothing to do with rebellion or thriving on a crisis and it would upset me if someone made those types of false conclusion about me. Sometimes being on time just isn't easy. Does this PhD know anything or has she never been late in her life because she's so perfect?

Used to drag in a little tardy, it seemed because wanted to delay as long as possible the wearisome "let's pretend you're one of them" game. But then found that getting in early enabled me to work in peace, and made for a nicer day!

I also work late, but close the door.

I actually make a point to be to work or school at a certain time everyday, I hate running late for some reason

I think this PhD is used to NTs who don't have inertia or executive function issues to worry about. Anyway, the "waiting for deadlines to make performance possible" is one of the things that does affect me--she's not entirely wrong. It happens more with homework than with tardiness, though. That usually is me not being able to switch activities fast enough to get going and be there on time.

I have vowed at least one thing to myself, though: No matter how late I am, I'll never drive dangerously. You can't gain more than a few minutes anyway, and I'd rather be at work/school late than be on time at the hospital.

If you really can't manage to be in time, try talking to them about it. I think most reasonable people wouldn't mind if they know you'll work your hours, so you could just leave work a little later to make up for the lost time in the morning.

I have a tendency to be slightly late, because I hate having to wait around in the cold before school. I'd rather be late and in a nice warm detention!

My mother is totally the opposite, she always has to be early everywhere, and freaks that we're gonna be late when there's plenty of time. Pisses me off...

Add times (in minutes) to it perhaps. That way you have close time frames (2-10 minutes) for the tasks which help that you don't get stuck at one point of the list for like forever.

Quoting Marshall:

It would upset me too, but unfortunately, people, and yes we can say NT's because they are in the majority, do make those kinds of conclusions and when they hire us they expect us to abide by all of the rules. I don't know who Spaladin is and I haven't read her book and she is addressing a general readership, not zeroing in on people on the Austistic Spectrum. Mornings are hell for me too and I agree that being on time is not easy when so many issues interfere with being on time. But I don't think two sets of rules, one for us and one for them, are the answer. And in my case, even if I worked later in the day, and had to start work at 2pm instead of 9am, I would still have a hard time getting out of the door and arriving on time. I would be interested to know what kind of advice an Autism specialist would have to offer on time management. You would think, since it's such a common issue for autists, that Attwood or Grandin or someone of that ilk has some good advice on the subject of time and how to manage it better. I'll have to keep looking because I could sure use it.

damn i think in my whole school career i only missed like a week out of it. i was ontime for everythinggggg