An Aspie Positive - Are We More Insightful?

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I believe that Aspies are more insightful. We have to be. We have had to be all of our lives.

We spend more time mulling over "What went wrong" in that last social situation. We practice what to say at times, we observe others to learn how to blend in. We study Them.

I've spoken with many NTs and mentioned this trait or that social 'norm' only to see them look baffled and say "Really? I hadn't noticed but I guess that's true!" It seems that I'm MORE socially skilled than they are, at that moment anyway. It seems that I know more about it, have studied it more, am better at it than they are. I'm not. I just am forced to spend more time trying to understand something that comes second nature to them.

Talk to a person who has been forced to re-learn how to walk as an adult. They know *everything* about walking. They can tell you about muscles that you don't know you have. And about balance, and weight, and timing. But you and I just stand up and move forward when our brains say Do It. We don't consider all of the logistics. Thankfully, most of us don't have to.

NTs don't have to consider much that we do have to consider. For that reason I think most Aspies learn so much more in such depth about themselves and about the world around them. We may be overly focused, we may have tunnel vision at times, we may forget that the world even exists, but in general we are deeply introspective and have a great deal of understanding. Much more than the average NT.

Yes..I reckon we can be more insightful...good point..it is sorta illustrated all over the board...perhaps NTs don't spend so much time mulling over their every interraction etc...

Very true, very well said. So much baffles me yet I too have gained insights and even by thinking and observing have discovered new things that everyone else has not even noticed. easter was hell for me, thank goodness back to the standard routine. So bad I went to work on Sunday to work on my machines.

Earthmom, you are so right.

my "insightfulness" led me to believe that social skills is a relative term and very dependent on time an location,
As for being insightful, i've been told many time by NT's that i'm very insightful and people used to seek me insight into their life and life in general,
especially NT,
it might be that our insightful nature is the cause for our so called impaired social skills in the first place as we live in a society that doesn't really pay attention to people and things

One could argue that being "mind blind" is having less insight. Having to cope with our social reality painfully step by step instead of having an intuition that can make leaps and bounds could be construed as a deficiency. What do you think?

You know the old story about blind folks having better hearing etc. than sighted folks. In a way, Aspies receive a compensation for being "mind blind". But is the compensation worth the difficulties and troubles inherent in the deficiency?

ruveyn

In general - yep - Humies - er - NTs dont seem to spend much time considering the hows and whys of life - it's a different view from outside the bubble it seems

I wouldn't know. However, I was once with someone who thought this and would tell others that I was always right. My mother thought similar too, as well as one of her acquaintances. Doctors and counselors also inform me of it. If there's truth to it, I don't know whether it comes from AS or how much AS is a factor. Much of it could result from having different perceptions and growing up viewing life from the different perspective that AS gives.

Same here. We don't have what i would call "social intuition". We have to analyze everything we do, step by step. We have to internalize it, process it and them come up with conclusions. I have done that all my life, and still have a lot of things to learn.

I am always observing people, almost to an obsessive degree. I do it so much that it has led to many misunderstandings. Some would label me as creepy, crazy, etc. But all i do is try to learn how to interact with people.

I agree with the blind folks story, it explains very well what happens to us.

I only observe people as a need for self protection and trying to guess if the are reliable or trustworty, then agn hardly ever encounter people anyway. I would rather be normal, this pain is not worth anything. Its worthless and will hound me till I die. Was the poet Keats an aspi - he is said to have suffered from 'skinlessness'.

Indeed.

Those who are of the Matrix, cannot perceive the Matrix.

Of Course!

Neurotypicals are -- well -- typical.......

Agrees with this.

I've actually been told this subtly by others many times.
I haven't really appreciated the true significance of what they've said until now.



As for mind-blindness, I'd say I was more along the lines of mind "partially sighted" or "mind short sighted". The social signals I receive seem weaker from my mind's perspective compared to most other people.

I've never honestly seen this "blindness" as a deficiency, because I didn't know that I was "blind". If it's a blindness, then it's an invisible sort of blindness. I thought that other people were just being unkind to me and that was just my bad luck because some people are like that. My parents and I actually felt very offended when people said I had a deficiency, particularly because they didn't have solid physical/measurable proof of my deficiency. Also, this "deficiency" was described in a very wholly and confusing way, so we became very skeptical about the whole thing.

I didn't honestly know that other people had anything like social intuition, I just blithely assumed that they learned how to talk to others in a similar way to how I did: by trial and error. I thought some people were having more luck and had practiced harder, that was all.

I never really regarded myself as "blind" to anything, given all of the interesting physical details I thoroughly enjoyed observing. I couldn't honestly see what I was "missing" at first. I just felt like me really.

Physical cues such as signposts, letters, dress, equipment, itineraries, chair arrangements and clocks can provide hints in social situations. For a while, I honestly thought that these were all I had to really worry about...because...well...these details were in my foreground and the people were in the background. I never thought that this was unusual because this was how I experienced the world every day.

I honestly thought that everyone attended to physical cues before social cues, until very recently.

I agree. I think we are more insightful than most people. All myu life I have tried and tested the theory and I have been proven right nearly every time.

Physical cues such as signposts, letters, dress, equipment, itineraries, chair arrangements and clocks can provide hints in social situations. For a while, I honestly thought that these were all I had to really worry about...because...well...these details were in my foreground and the people were in the background. I never thought that this was unusual because this was how I experienced the world every day.

I honestly thought that everyone attended to physical cues before social cues, until very recently.

Ambereyes - it's very astonishing when you learn how others view the world, isn't it?

I also just blundered my way along, beating myself up for dumb mistakes, being confused alot of the time, hoping to do better and at times thrilled with my success even though I didn't really understand it either. My husband has told me I'm one of the funniest people that he knows. A few years ago as I was learning about AS and started really sharing with him his biggest surprise was how often I don't intend to be funny, but am.

I remembered specific cases when I said something outloud (being quite serious) and the room exploded with laughter, which startled me. I have learned to laugh along quickly, so I don't look as surprised as I feel, but when I shared that with him he was shocked. He said "You mean you didn't know that was funny?" And I said Nope. Then of course, other times when I think something is side splitting funny and I share it, you can hear crickets.

Once we got down to comparing notes and sharing information it was fascinating. I opened up in a way I've never done to anyone in my life and we really compared how you feel in this situation, how I feel. Where you pay attention when we walk in, where I pay attention.

After discussing some of this with my grown daughter (who is mostly NT) she had an AHA moment where she said "I've always wondered about that! When I ask what someone looked like you always say you don't know, just a person...." I guess that's the most important thing to distinguish. Animal, mineral, or vegetable. I identified them as Person, nothing else is necessary.

How about a new Reality show - Spectrum House - where they put in half AS and half NTs and let them compare notes discuss how they see the world? I'd love that.

You know what would come out of it? You'd hear over and over that the NTs "never thought about that". They'd become exhausted by the AS folks and their brains would explode from the depth of the conversation.



I used to have a boss who was *very* social and very 'upwardly mobile' as they say, which means he was big on playing the politics and really focusing on the people at our workplace (those who were above him particularly). Many times he would be frustrated with me because I had just arrived and he would ask me if so and so was here today. I would say I have no idea and he would say "Did you see his car outside when you pulled up?" I have almost never been able to relate a car to a person so I have NO idea whose car belongs to who unless they're driving it at that moment. I would shrug and he would be exasperated.

Another case of that was going into a restaurant or the cafeteria. I walk in, my eyes are scanning for a vacant table or seat so I can sit down and eat. I'm looking past humans and only seeing empty spaces. He's looking past empty spaces and only seeing humans. He later can tell you everyone who was in the room eating, and he walked around and spoke to most of them while he was there (always the politician). He saw lunch as a social event.

I, later, can tell you what they had to eat today and what I ate and relay some information about my book that I brought along to read and what time I left to get back to work. I can tell you if it was uncomfortably crowded and noisy in the room while I ate, or if it was emptied out and more comfortable. But I never brought back the 'juicy details' for him (about people) that he was always seeking.

While working for him, I did learn quite alot. He fascinated me and constantly surprised me with his focus on people. He talked about people endlessly, who knew who and who used to work with who and who was suspected of having an affair and what the ramifications of that were. He never did much work at all but he was top notch on knowing the business of all the people around him.

Footnote - he was laid off and I stayed on. I guess it's a good idea to also be focused on your work.

This would make brilliant television (if executed in the right way) and the concept is original.

However, there would be ethical issues and the potential for abuse/bullying/being taken advantage of/slander.

There would be the logistical issues of personal space, particularly for the AS people.
What about the sleeping arrangements?
I have found sleeping in a dorm of 10 people difficult, even at the best of times.

What about help with daily tasks for people with varying levels of functioning?
Would aides and family members be allowed in or would they get in the way of the experience.

How would someone indicate that they'd like to be left alone if he or she has communication difficulties?

What about solitary rooms to recharge after social/emotional/sensory overload?
What if some people never emerge from those rooms and are too socially anxious to come out?

There could also be overcrowding, cat-fighting, swearing, drunkenness, arguing and showing off. A bit like some the fieldtrips I've been on really!
I could degenerate if not monitored properly.

The NTs could get noisy and rowdy if they aren't calm and understanding people.

There could be potential for great understanding or great misunderstanding.