Dog eat Dog world?

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I think there is one characteristic of myself that certainly does not fit in with the masses. I am not ambitious. I can't really say why. And more importantly I don't view other people as competition. To be honest I witnessed this competitive streak in others from very young, and in this way, I find it hardest to relate to others.

Everyone around me, seems obsessed with being better than everyone else, in whichever way they can. Life is a competition, and people will try to be the best by whichever means possible. I don't feel that way, and sometimes I feel that this is a bad thing. Nice guys always finish last.

It seems as if the world is hostile, and if you don't have a nasty streak to you, you won't succeed. My autistic cousin is exactly the same. So is this an aspie/autie thing? Or are we (cousin and me) like this due to some other reason?

I can be quite competitive and I know of other Aspies who are too. It's probably more a personality trait than a symptom.

I was told by some guys when I was in the Army that the reason I would never date or marry was because my sense of personal ambiton "sucked." Women look for guys, as a primary quality, who bring home the green so they can treat them to shopping sprees. In exchange for our "ambition" and working like a dog and destroying our personalites and losing all our free time and sacrificing any interests we might have, we only get some sex. And that sex can go away, because women will try and control us into doing their bidding by witholding sex from us. So yeah, it is tough.

In the workplace, it is definitely dog-eat-dog and the Alpha's take the cake. Employers want those ambitious young men because they can use their desire for professional advancement and their desire to make lots of money to buy ridiculous things like gass guzzling trucks to manipulate them into doing their bidding. So, the vigorous advance and the stolid and laconic stand still and then fall back and get crushed underfoot. With AS, one has no chance in such a world. Strong people can exploit a weak personality and use these people in all sorts of sordid ways. Our world is overwhelmingly a social world, much more so than a physical or mental world, and those with no social skills just are operating with such a handicap that it is almost not even worthwhile to try and assimilate.

I think lack of ambition is a central theme of AS individuals. My whole life I have never been able to develop any short-term or long-term career goals. In grade school, I was never able to produce a satisfactory answer to the ubiquitous and pressurized question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" At 18 years of age, I had not the slightest desire to pursue any civilian career path so I wound up in the military as a last resort. People like us are always being chastized by parents and teachers for "lack of direction." However, what is really appealling at all in this zero-sum world? I can't tell you how terrified I was as a teenage boy at the thought of having to move on into the workforce, because I knew deep down that I could not maintain a job or a career and I would wind up on the streets. Nothing was ever put in front of me that I really thought would be a viable option for me later in life.

As a youth, with my extreme social struggles, I knew that I would never be a viable or independent adult. I would die off as a matter of natural selection, because I had no ambition or social skills and I would be annihilated by my more adept peers. Once I left the protective womb of my childhood home, I would be left to fend for myself with no skills and no defenses. Yet, I could develop no ambition or drive to change my circumstances, as a result of undiagnosed AS. So we with AS just seem to "drift" from one situation to another, without really going anywhere. We move laterally or backwards but we never actually advance or better our circumstances but for some occasional fortuitious luck. If we are lucky we can catch onto a host and live in a parasitic state.

People with AS can be competitive when it comes to showing off their special interests. They can develop inflated pockets of self-worth. When I was in school I wasn't competitive with anything execpt for playing baseball or the school geography bee. If I had a chance to display some precocious knowledge I would jump on it an look like a know-it-all in front of the rest of my class. I was(and am still somewhat) unaware that showing off knowledge was not a likeable personality trait. But it felt good to be good at something or just to feel competent and smart every once in a while when I usually felt so helpless and taken advantage of.

Last edited by Brusilov on 18 Apr 2009, 5:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

Its not an autistic trait - just an asocial one. People try to be better and achieve more than people around them because its natural selection. Ultimately, being successful means you have a greater chance of passing on your genes.
You have an interesting choice of words, though. You claim to be uncompetitive, but you're still thinking of where you finish in the 'race' ("Nice guys finish last"). Something to think about, maybe. The world isn't inherently hostile unless you treat it as such, but you certainly have to fight and strive for what you want.

I feel this way, that the world is hostile, all the time. I often wonder when humanity will evolve. Human beings are not animals, we should be able to go beyond a "survival of the fittest mentality." Those who are strong will say things like "that's just the way the world is." This is a self-serving belief that allows them to only care about themselves and treat the weak badly. It's accepted in our society that the weak deserve their fate.

This "survival of the fittest mentality" is ingrained into almost every aspect of our society, employment, social networking, reality shows, the bible, to name a few.

Can dogs actually eat other dogs (i.e., cannibalistic dogs, rather than homicidal)?

lol, Daniel. I think most species have instincts against cannibalism, just as they have instincts against incest.

Uh ?

I think the "dog eat dog" reference refers to canine mating.

Wolves compete to be the alpha dog. Female wolves will not mate with inferior wolves, so the males compete to be the dominant wolf. This competition is largely a matter of them attacking each other. If a wolf backs down, odds are he won't be mating.

The story of my life.

Yep, It's a dog eat dog world....

this is why we have school shootings.

Agreed.

You would have thought most humans could get over their more antisocial animal instincts, but no...

I can be competitive when it comes to fun and games but as for life in general goes I'm not competitive.

I always wanted to be a scientist but the extreme competitive vibe of graduate school and academia in general really bothers me. It seems there's way too much subliminal emphasis on "making the cut" to get your degree. It's an extremely alienating environment that's toxic to curiosity and creativity. I don't give a f*** about advertising my intelligence in order to feel superior. I just want to be happy in life. I thought making a career out of something I enjoy would be enough.

Competition detracts from my ability to enjoy life.

Very depressing topic for me. Just thinking about it makes me feel like this --> . It all seems like such a waste.

The whole competition thing is a weary delusion.

Take a peek at TobyZ's "Ferdinand the Bull" thread nearby.

Talking about military actions, a person reminded me that ultimately, for all our technology and knowledge, man is little more than an aggressive predator that will kill to get what it thinks it needs.

Perhaps it is apathy, and I can't say I've never wanted to be the winner in a competition, but imagine how much better life would be if the masses embraced the simple truth that in less than 50 years after you die, nobody will remember or care what you did when you were alive. All the struggle to accomplish for the regard of others when ultimately, do people even really care?

I'm not a competitive person either. Whilst competition is a part of human nature we live in a culture where it is over emphazied, where ambition is seen as pretty much the greatest quality a person can have, above loyalty or compassion.

But what I really want to know is what were all supposed to be competing for? Were all going to die just the same so surly the only point is to try and have a happy life, and if people feel they can only achieve that by feeling superior to other people I actually feel a little bit sorry for them.

There's a wall going round the city where I live, and standing on it from a certain point you can see some mountains in the disatnce, maybe 30 miles away, I always thought it would be really cool to just pack a bag and a tent and set out one moring to walk to the top of those mountains and then walk back again. To do that and lead a generally happy life are pretty much my only ambitions.