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kittenmeow
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19 Apr 2009, 12:06 pm

I get on people's nerves because I'm too "blunt". Not soft enough with my words. I don't twist it around to suit other's ideas of what it should be like.

The next person is tired of people constantly making everything soft and just wants someone who will just come out with it. Come out and quit adding so much fluff to your sentences says the annoyed person. The other person cannot do it. They conformed to what they were told was correct for that time.

One person likes to gossip alot. The other person doesn't care.

One person doesn't like to gossip at all. The next person who is gossiping finds nothing is said back and gets annoyed.

One person likes to talk alot about their favorite subject that isn't apart of trends. The other person is into trends and doesn't understand what the person is talking about and wants to leave.

One person likes to talk about all the latest trends. The next person is really annoyed because they don't pay attention to trends.

One person likes those that are very similar to that person. The next person finds the person who is too similar to them to be scary and runs away.

One cashier likes to talk alot and try to be overly friendly and upsell. The customer just wants to go quickly. The cashier is sneery about it and so is the customer.

We're all annoying. It mostly occurs over clashes of wants, interests and needs.



nothingunusual
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19 Apr 2009, 12:10 pm

True. I know I'm both constantly annoyed and constantly annoying. :)


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KingdomOfRats
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19 Apr 2009, 12:22 pm

Humanity is overrated.


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Greentea
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19 Apr 2009, 12:27 pm

NTs don't clash as much. This is where Aspies lack, apart from Theory of Mind. We lack the intuitition to know "what with whom". While we can and do learn Theory of Mind with time, the one thing an Aspie will never develop is the here-and-now social intuition.


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Rainbow-Squirrel
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19 Apr 2009, 3:44 pm

Edit: bad post, ignore



androo4salez
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19 Apr 2009, 4:00 pm

Greentea wrote:
NTs don't clash as much.


You'd be surprised to know that you are far wrong. Just because we socialize better doesn't at all mean that we don't clash over interests, needs, and personal preference.


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Greentea
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19 Apr 2009, 8:57 pm

Not as much.


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pensieve
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20 Apr 2009, 2:48 am

nothingunusual wrote:
True. I know I'm both constantly annoyed and constantly annoying. :)


QFT.

I find a lot of people irritating but I think people get irritated by me. Just found out the other day some people that think if you don't speak to someone they think you hate them.



animal
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20 Apr 2009, 3:49 am

My psychologist says these clashes happen because people are following different scripts. For example, the talkative cashier is following the script that says "Be happy and cheerful and talkative because your customers crave human connection no matter how banal and insincere it may be" - or something of the sort. Whereas the customer is following the script that says "Quick quick quick get out of the shops they are hellish and awful". So the realities clash and there is friction.

That's how I understand these things, anyway.

Evidently, people are never following the exact same script as everybody else. I think maybe we follow scripts that are even more different than average.



Greentea
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20 Apr 2009, 5:56 am

animal wrote:
I think maybe we follow scripts that are even more different than average.


So very true. And not only different, but less well-adjusted to each individual case. While an NT may get at least some intuitive clue about this cashier, we Aspies surely don't. Our wavelength says "zzzzzz" (the silent signal).


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TobyZ
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20 Apr 2009, 7:12 am

pensieve wrote:
Just found out the other day some people that think if you don't speak to someone they think you hate them.



I think that's pretty common. Haven't you seen a movie where a husband and wife stop speaking to each other when they are angry or upset?

I've seen it first hand.

That's obvious and measurable behavior. Not like reading facial expressions. It's pretty obvious when someone has been near you for 8 hours and hasn't said "hello". You can measure and count that.

Aspies are probably more sensitive to WHY someone might... and don't jump to conclusions so emotionally.



faithfilly
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20 Apr 2009, 9:06 am

My psychologist says mankind has a pride problem.


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bluerodent
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21 Apr 2009, 1:18 pm

For me it's not so much that I'm annoying, but rather that people thought I was a snob or an a**hole for being so quiet.


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