PLEASE HELP I NEED SOME ADVICE

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K so I'm at a crossroads right now...

I am 22 years old and was diagnosed with aspergers when I was much younger but I guess never fully came to terms with it. Not so much that i didn't come to terms with it being something that I had but trying to move on past it. Over the past 4 and a half years in college I tried really hard to make friends. My first school I made a couple of fake friends but learned enough so that at my next school, I had a good group of people to surround myself with.

When I started my new school I made sure I had someone I was good friends with from high school there to help me out...he really did. He got me involved in a lot of different things on campus and I got my name out there to the entire college always adding things to do to never FULLY come to terms with aspergers. I did a really good job too building up a resume and meeting different people....

But now i've graduated and am working a job as a one on one aid for a seven year old autistic boy. Graduating college and being out in the real world has taken a major toll on me and trying to "run" from autism for so long and now working daily with a boy who reminds me of me has been difficult as well. I've also had to come to terms with the fact that all these people I hung out with in college while they may be "friends"...i struggle to connect and get inside their heads and sometimes it stings realizing how different i am from even my own friends.

So now I'm at this crossroad and don't know what to do. How do I accept the aspergers when I'm not sure exactly what I'm accepting? How do I not get mad at the executive dysfunctioning problems I have at work that it seems others don't? I feel like I fought really hard to "fit in" just to realize that I maybe never can...is it worth still trying? How do i figure out who or what I really am and what to do with my life?

Any help will be greatly appreciated

Before you can be a friend to others, you must truly be a friend to yourself. Accept those things that you feel are your shortcomings and imperfections...nobody's perfect. Just keep doing the best that you are able to do.

With each day, try to reach out and say "hello" to one person that you meet. Be courteous and open doors for others when such
situations occur, show kindness in every thing you do. If someone seems unkind to you, do not take it personal...they may just
be having a "bad" day themselves or simply, someone you do not truly want as a friend. Move on...there are plenty of fish in the
ocean.

In my experience, there are no strangers in this world, only friends that I have yet to meet. Still, exercise caution.

Best of luck to you!

Hi, we talked privately a bit a while ago ... not sure if you remember me but anyway, hi again.

I'm not sure if I can really offer any advice/help but I totally understand where you're coming from ... not so much with the kids thing since I don't have any experience with that, but as far as connecting with people.

For the first time in my life (at college - and who knows, maybe the last?) I actually am surrounded by a lot of people and they are my friends and yet it's hard to really "connect." It's hard.

So, um ... I'm not sure what my point is other than to say that I understand. And if you ever want to chat, I'm here. PM me or send me an IM (I'll PM you my IM name if you don't still have it) if you ever want sympathetic company.

Personally, I think you have more to offer the boy than anyone else he is in contact with frequently. Somewhere in you helping him, you will find what you are looking for.

Other than that, keep living the way you are. Yes it's worth continuously trying to maintain friendships because once you have them, like anyone else, when they are gone, they are very much missed.

I am a person with AS who strongly believes in the mirror neuron theory of autism as the underlying neural condition of Autism.
If your interested in reading about it, I recommend reading this article ( Broken Mirrors A Theory on Autism ) by Ramachandran at UCSD. It describes Autism as partially the result of a broken mirror neuron system which explains difficulties in forming a social self, surface empathy, socialization, language development .... As such, what I find most useful is reading/meditating on the differences that having a broken mirroring system makes in my own development as well as intensive reading in psychology, especially Depth Psychology and Neural Linguistic Psychology. All of this helps me rationally form a healthier social self while accepting that the process is not intuitive to me at all. This in turn helps me accept where I am both capable and inefficient in my dealings with others. I don't know if any of this is helpful to you at all. Let me close by stating that I believe that people on the spectrum can be the best guides for others on the spectrum, we can also be our own worst enemies.

Here’s the way I see it:

Corporate work life is like that TV series “survivor”. It takes a special kind of low life dirt bag to really make it. You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel up to it?
Well, do ya?