Your opinion on my Asperger's symptoms...

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I'm not diagnosed but I would like to know your opinion on my behavior possible being Asperger's. Most of it comes from my childhood. When I was a kid...

I would have intense obsessions with video games, drawing, space ships, watching Freddy Krueger movies, magic wands, putting things on my fingers to make them look like claws ect... and I would talk about them constantly

I would have meltdowns frequently and hurt myself (biting hands, banging head into walls)

I would flap my hands when I was excited. This caused me to be teased very badly in school.

I wasn't quiet when I was at home, but when I went to school i would seperate myself and when people tried to talk to me I would walk away. I always sat alone at luch. If I did talk to someone it would most likely be about video games and nothing else. Thats all I remember ever talking about.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14.

Today...

I've been told before several times by many people that I'm very awkward.

I'm always very aware and a little uncomfortable when I'm making eye contact.

I've gotten really mad and blown up at people and then had them tell me later, I shouldn't have been mad because they were joking or I handled it very badly.

I still have obsessions...like right now I'm totally obsessed with Asperger's syndrome and people have already told me to stop talking about it.

I still have urges to flap my hands which I can mostly control. Still some people have seen me do it.

I have trouble with body language...not so much facial expressions but definitley body language.

I'm able to make friends but I never know the right think to say to them in a conversation. A lot of times I don't know if they're serious or joking and I had to really struggle to learn proper social skills...I've mostly just studied others and tried to copy bits and pieces from everyone's behavior. I assumed that was the way everyone learned social skills.

If anyone can relate let me know please...

I was teased about certain things too. I don't know if I flapped my hands as a kid or not. I didn't even notice it until pointed out to me in my adulthood. So because I was teased or critisized about certain things I did, it was a struggle for me to change that about myself because I didn't want them to tease me anymore about it. I remember it being a struggle being around kids who didn't tolorate me so not being around them was heaven, especially being at home because that meant I could be myself again and they won't know I still do X.

I was labeled clumsy in elementary school and having poor social skills.

I also talked about my obsessions too and other times I didn't because I felt embarrassment.

I was always a big talker since age 6 so of course I always responded when people talked to me and I loved having friends so I loved it when kids came to me to play. Sometimes I wonder if the reason why they played with me in the first place was because I was out of special ed and finally put in regular ed so they felt they had to be my friend and then they would sometimes want time to themselves because they wouldn't want me around. That would explain why they would sometimes eject me or be mean to me sometimes.
I've noticed as a kid how regular kids would sometimes be nicer to kids who are special needs when it's obvious they are and then other times that child would be left alone.

I'm also obsessed about AS but I don't talk about it because it's embarrassing and I also don't like to tell anyone I have it. When I was first talking about it when I was 14 and 15, I was ignorant about it then because I didn't know enough about it then. Besides I didn't even know what AS was when I was 14. My mother telling me what I do was part of AS didn't tell me anything like the time I be bored in my own home so my mother had to help me out by giving me options what I can do to occupy myself and she told me I liked to have things organized and have my days planned out and I had always been that way and it's part of AS. That still didn't tell me what AS was. It was just random to me when she say it.

I also copied other people growing up because I wanted to be normal so badly and be accepted and be picked on less. I also thought that's how everyone learned by watching other people and copying them and going "Oh that's what you're supposed to do" or "Oh that's what you say when someone says X" "Oh that's what you say when you don't like something" etc.

Yeah, sounds like Aspergers to me.

I remember when people would tell me to stop talking about the same thing.
Yeah, you do sound like you have Asperger's. I'm surprised you didn't know sooner from your meltdowns.

If everything you say is true (and I have no reason to doubt you), it definitely sounds like Asperger's to me.

This quote alone:

Sounds like some very typical symptoms. Some classic symptoms as well. Perhaps see your GP? Sounds a lot like Aspergers.

It does sound like you have aspergers

I'm obsessed with Aspergers too, it's my current special interest. Unfortunately, it's not one other people are very interested in discussing.

Ok, lets see, when I was a kid I would flap my hands when excited - was bullied and always preferred to sit alone at lunch, all I wanted to do was read books, got obsessed by things, have a tendency to repeat myself "like a broken record player", I've always had problems with occasionally blowing up over something minor/overreacting. I was diagnosed when i was 11 years old.

It does sound a lot like AS to me, but I think the best way to self diagnose is to read a book on AS - I self diagnosed myself (before I was taken to the specialist who diagnosed me) when I was given a book with info and questionnaires on AS by one of the psychologists I went to.