Why is aggression necessarily negative?

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timeisdead
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08 May 2009, 5:35 pm

Who cares if it's deemed "socially inappropriate"? There are many people that are truly deserving of it. A passive person is a person who gets stepped on in life.



KarmicPyxis
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08 May 2009, 6:07 pm

Sure, there are lots of people who "deserve" to be the objects of aggression.

Just ask around--I'm sure that there are plenty of people who would agree that YOU are a deserving object!

What then? Still so keen to advocate it? Or...betcha this is the case, regardless of what you "admit to" here...would you prefer to have "aggression guidelines" that conform to your specific personal criteria for who deserves it and who doesn't?

Oh, I know--"everyone can agree that..." It's called the tyranny of the majority. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing that would be terribly helpful to AS/AD folks.

Spend some time cultivating compassion, and in the meantime, try blindly adhering to principles of tolerance to get you through to the next level of intelligence and wisdom. And if you just cannot "do" this/that, then don't be surprised or upset when you are correctly perceived as a threat and therefore objectified as being worthy of being taken out yourself.


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sinsboldly
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08 May 2009, 6:37 pm

timeisdead wrote:
Who cares if it's deemed "socially inappropriate"?


the person getting agressed against cares

timeisdead wrote:
There are many people that are truly deserving of it.


who judges the other person 'truly deserving'

timeisdead wrote:
A passive person is a person who gets stepped on in life.


a passive person that figures out when to get out of the way before they get stepped on doesn't get the police called on them for assault and battery.

just sayin'

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timeisdead
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08 May 2009, 7:08 pm

Quote:
Just ask around--I'm sure that there are plenty of people who would agree that YOU are a deserving object!


If they do, I am more than prepared to retaliate.


Quote:
Oh, I know--"everyone can agree that..." It's called the tyranny of the majority. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing that would be terribly helpful to AS/AD folks.

I am not advocating tyranny of the majoriy; I am advocating justice.


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Spend some time cultivating compassion, and in the meantime, try blindly adhering to principles of tolerance to get you through to the next level of intelligence and wisdom.

What use would that serve? Why should I tolerate those who refuse to tolerate me? That's giving them an unfair advantage.



timeisdead
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08 May 2009, 7:09 pm

Quote:
a passive person that figures out when to get out of the way before they get stepped on doesn't get the police called on them for assault and battery.

just sayin'

Not all aggression is physical. Aggression can also be verbal.



KarmicPyxis
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08 May 2009, 7:43 pm

You haven't described/communicated ANYTHING that would suggest that you are talking about going after terrorists or murderers, something that I think falls within the category of "conceivably justified."

But you sure are coming across as just one more hateful angry bitter self righteous person with a grudge or two.

You and I cannot change other people. But we can change how we respond to them, what they say, do, etc.

"Go after" those who you think "deserve it" and you'll never run out of enemies and just die angry, exhausted, and defeated.

Spend that same energy changing yourself and your reaction(s) to them, and you'll be liberated pretty darn quickly, and they won't be able to "touch" you afterwards.

You sound like you need professional help with your sociopathy...and sociopathy has nothing intrinsically to do with AS/AD.


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jennyishere
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08 May 2009, 9:21 pm

Hi, timeisdead. I wonder whether you're confusing aggression with assertiveness? I agree that it's not good to always be passive and let others dominate you, but being aggressive isn't the only alternative. Being assertive is all about standing up for yourself and ensuring that your own rights are respected without intimidating and dominating others. If everyone went around being aggressive, physically and/or verbally, the world would be a frightening place ruled by bullies. That's not the kind of society I'd want to live in.



timeisdead
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08 May 2009, 9:28 pm

jennyishere wrote:
Hi, timeisdead. I wonder whether you're confusing aggression with assertiveness? I agree that it's not good to always be passive and let others dominate you, but being aggressive isn't the only alternative. Being assertive is all about standing up for yourself and ensuring that your own rights are respected without intimidating and dominating others. If everyone went around being aggressive, physically and/or verbally, the world would be a frightening place ruled by bullies. That's not the kind of society I'd want to live in.

Aggression isn't needed when it comes to those you can verbally negotiate with and those who are relatively reasonable. When dealing with bullies, aggression is the only option because they simply don't listen to reason.



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08 May 2009, 9:50 pm

What sorts of situations are you talking about, timeisdead? Can you give an example?



timeisdead
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08 May 2009, 9:53 pm

jennyishere wrote:
What sorts of situations are you talking about, timeisdead? Can you give an example?

If someone won't leave you alone, is being unreasonable and won't listen to logic, or if someone who tries to be condescending or insulting, aggression is warranted.



jennyishere
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08 May 2009, 10:51 pm

I would still be reluctant to respond aggressively in those sorts of situations. If another person is behaving inappropriately, responding aggressively can often just make the situation worse by making the other person angry or defensive. Professionals who often have to work with difficult people, police and security personnel, for example, are given training in how to defuse tense situations without resorting to aggression. I often have to do the same sort of thing in my job- as a teacher, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to respond aggressively when a student behaves badly. That would only set a bad example and probably escalate the poor behaviour.

Are you often on the receiving end of "condescending or insulting" behaviour, timeisdead? If so, I can certainly understand why you would feel angry and frustrated.



sinsboldly
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09 May 2009, 12:09 am

timeisdead wrote:
jennyishere wrote:
What sorts of situations are you talking about, timeisdead? Can you give an example?

If someone won't leave you alone, is being unreasonable and won't listen to logic, or if someone who tries to be condescending or insulting, aggression is warranted.


When a member registers they agree to certain rules as a condition of membership. If you feel someone is being insulting or condescending or just unreasonable and not listening to logic, please, contact a moderator at http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt76158.html and we will handle it for you.

taking your own view of retaliation could violate those terms of service.

Merle
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Last edited by sinsboldly on 09 May 2009, 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Kalashnikov
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09 May 2009, 12:16 am

I used to think that way too. That mentality was responsible for landing me in the principal's office more times than I care to remember.



Sora
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09 May 2009, 4:02 am

The very root of violence based on the argument 'but he did it first'.

Everybody who does so or says so wants being aggressive and wants to hurt others, because if you tag along with it, do it, then you signal that you agree with it.

Only if you step in and stop you say that you do not want to be aggressive, that you do want to hurt others because it's wrong.


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timeisdead
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09 May 2009, 4:19 am

Quote:
The very root of violence based on the argument 'but he did it first'.

Everybody who does so or says so wants being aggressive and wants to hurt others, because if you tag along with it, do it, then you signal that you agree with it.

Only if you step in and stop you say that you do not want to be aggressive, that you do want to hurt others because it's wrong.

That of course assumes that a person who irrationally attacks others will be willing to listen to reason. Pretty big assumption.......
Of course, there are forms of aggression that aren't physical. You can show your aggression through asking that person a series of emotionally charged rhetorical questions.



Sora
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09 May 2009, 4:26 am

Oh, no. You should only care about doing the right thing yourself, not trying to educate others besides the occasional monologue, discussion, lecture. But never feel you should change their behaviour or that you're responsible for them understanding you.

Others only can be educated in what's right and wrong if they see you doing it. Don't care so much about others and how their behaviour supposedly means you should do this or that back or take it or how you should react to it (so on)

You set your own ideals and they're only truly your own if they're independent from the changes in the situations around you.

Like, others may fail at being fair, but someone has to start to break with the previous game and if we want more respect and fairness in our lives, we're the ones to start with it.


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