Asperger's or Schizoid Personality Disorder?

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When I was still in grade school I was in play therapy because I was a chronic bed wetter, I was extremely withdrawn and had a tendency to wake up screaming from night terrors. I was expressing suicidal ideation at age 5 and I don't mean as a childish threat. I had seen that famous picture of the Buddhist monk who died by self-immolation to protest the VietNam War and crawled into my father's lap and told him I thought it would be best if I did the same. My mother told me of the incident; I don't remember it but I do remember seeing the photograph and feeling very disturbed.I can look at pictures of myself during those years and see that I'm not really "there". I had asked my mother some years ago about my official diagnosis and she vaguely said something about "maladjustment". We talked about it again recently and she said they had tentatively diagnosed me with Schizoid Personality Disorder. I Googled it and saw how close the characteristics of A.S. and H.F.A. are with S.P.D.- I can see myself in that description but my resistance to being around people is not because of disdain or lack of interest, I simply find it confusing and exhausting. I can relate to a desire to be "invisible' that was mentioned as a characteristic. The site also went on to say S.P.D. was partially a result of lack of stimulation during the first year of life. I think it's true that I did lack stimulation; my mother told me that when I was an infant I only cried if I was hungry or wet but never for attention or affection. My parents had their hands full with my older siblings and I guess it was just easiest to stick me somewhere. I am almost 52 so the time of this diagnosis would have been in the mid 1960's. I personally don't feel that I have S.P.D. but I can see if I am an Aspie (self-dx) that this would be a logical conclusion given that this was years before Asperger's was seen as a diagnosable condition. Has anyone of a certain age had a similar early diagnosis?

Were you bullied? That could account for all of those negativities. And it would be a huge factor to figure into your considerations.

Not really, I survived by being invisible. A quiet shy girl has it a lot easier than a boy I think. As far as the suicidal ideation, that was before school. I seemed to see myself as a non person and I'm not sure why. My mother told me my older sister dominated me by answering for me to the point where if someone asked me my name ( as a toddler learning to talk) I would answer with my sister's name. I thought for years that there must have been something I had repressed that caused my extreme self hatred ( doing way better now) but now I'm not so sure. My son is diagnosed with Asperger's and he has very low self esteem as much as I tell him how much I treasure him. I'm wondering if some of this negativity was just part of my nature.

i have both.

"The site also went on to say S.P.D. was partially a result of lack of stimulation during the first year of life."

If the site says that, it is probably only speculation: there is no established expanation about the causes of SPD.

Questions:

do you have a strong interest in one or two restricted topics?
do you have repetitive motor movements?
do you have difficulty understanding non-verbal communication?

If "yes", probably you have AS instead of SPD.

But perhaps the difference is irrelevant - after all, they are both conditions with very similar symptoms, both without "cure", both without an effective treatment (although in both cases some drugs are used to treat the secunday effects). What is really the difference in having one or the other?

They are not the same.
It's the difference between hopelessly damaged and still struggling.

Ok, the main difference between SPD and AS is the following: When someone has SPD, they avoid social contact completely. Those with AS seek out social contact, but end up not succeeding with it. Later, they may choose to give up any social contact and become depressed because they have been unsuccessful at it. However, a person with AS originally would have tried fitting into the social circle, and onloy some give up and may acquire SPD traits. It is therefore a consequence of AS traits, and is not an Asperger's trait by itself.

I'm not sure why the idea of having SPD fills me with such despair, but maybe the fact that it does indicates that I don't have it. I think my social isolation comes from just being tired of trying. Being awkward is exhausting.