Have I done the wrong thing? Excessive Self-Disclosure

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Over the last couple of years I have noticed something. I tend to say too much about my life, or at least I think so.

My parents divorced a couple of years ago. My mother found a man in Egypt on the internet and decided to go to Egypt to marry him. She took most of the money from the sale of the house away, and also took my sisters to Egypt in contravention of the Child custody plan. She felt God was "blessing" her plans by showing her a beautiful sunset and a smiley face in the clouds.

I ended up going to New Jersey and ending up with a rather abusive roommate. I deluded myself, at the time, that I was being independent from the family problems. My dad miraculously found a note containing my address on the back in the mailbox after my mother vacated the property on her "mission to Egypt". My dad told me that talking to other people would progressively release me from the depression.

I often tend to disclose that I have Aspergers quite easily. For instance, I attended an introductory class on theatre last semester. One day, we had an outside presenter come in and teach us a few of the exercises used in theatre to break down barriers. One exercise involved staring into another person's eyes for several minutes as a way to break down barriers. I told the guy I sat with that I had Aspergers, and tried looking into his eyes for a few seconds, but I ended up turning my face away and rocking back and forth a little bit. He probably thought I was mentally ill. I tell other people that I have AS because I worry that they will think something is wrong with me mentally if I don't make a lot of eye contact.

I tend to be quite liberal on issues relating to that, shall we say, primordial drive. No that does not mean I am libertine. I just find it easy to discuss those issues with my liberal friends.

I often discuss my interests or what I am interested in quite freely. Btu telling my highly-religious aunt that I am into anime often does not turn out well.

I need help.

sorry to hear of your woes.
I still over-disclose and have a terrible time not doing so. My only solution is that I isolate myself. I try to edit what I say, but my brain doesn't function in that way. I can however, keep the confidences of others.
good luck.

I used to have horrible problems looking into people's eyes. My mother in fact taught me a trick, how to get around this, without people realising you have a problem. (This was when we did a "trust" excercise at school, which involved looking into other kids eyes, and I ran out of the class room and hid in the bathroom.)

The trick is, don't look at their eyes at all. Look at the bridge of their nose.

Seriously, it's helped me a lot. When I try to look into folks eyes, I get very uncomfortable, in fact, I start to feel sick... I suspect if I kept it up too long I might in fact hurl on my new "best friend."

However, gazing at the bridge of their nose, they tend to look away first. I've experimented with how long to hold my "bridge gaze" before flicking my glance aside, but the point is, you don't have to be forced to look at someone like that. It's overwhelming.

I don't tell people that I think I have aspies. They don't know what it means, and that being the case, what's the point of their knowing, if it will just make them look at me with distrust?

Obviously, there are times when folks see you stressed, and there's obviously something different... but I have been able to talk around that.

Of course, I've only realised I'm probably aspie since my son was diagnosed. When I'm stressed, I have mannerisms that you'd have to be deaf mute not to notice... but my experience is that most folks don't understand them. Which would explain how I got to thirty eight without realising a problem.

I too tend to not be sure when to self disclose and when to keep things to myself. I remember my mum advising me to keep myself to myself until i got to know people well....never could manage it..

Not sure if the problem is our naive nature. We assume people are non-judging and accepting like us. Disclosing too much personal information appears to be an issue for me, such as having AS.

I would have done quite well in the Theatre class. When I'm overly anxious it is more comfortable for me to stare into a persons eyes and ignore everything else. In life it has the similar problems as avoiding eye contact.

if you desire the wider mainstream community to breakdown their ignorance & preconceptions, & begin to gain greater awareness, understanding & perhaps even acceptance of our differences, then its natural to self-disclose, sidelining your own personal comfort in sight of the bigger picture.

If you just want an easy life, then do whatever you think is best. Thats your choice (which i completely respect btw - bills need to be paid etc...) But imo in taking that path you do forego the right to feel bitter or complaining about that widespread social ignorance, iyswim.

I 'self disclose' routinely, people want to know why im behaving oddly - i just tell them eg. 'oh, thatll be the autism' - but i try to do so in an 'indifferent' way, as in not seeking their approval or being emotionally dependant on the outcome of their response. Its great when people seem open-minded & inquisitive as (as im sure you all know) Very often they wont be - but who cares? they would still be the same people, possessing those negative qualities if you hadnt opened up to them - at least now you know

I self-disclose....and it is usually at that point when I suddenly feel very very NT.