We are our own worst enemy

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I looked up a few people from my past on Facebook. Mostly high school people.

I am amazed at who some people list at friends on their account. People who I could never imagine keeping in touch. People who were popular in high school keeping in touch with others who really weren't with the "in" crowd.

It makes me believe that people with AS not having friends has more to do with being complete social misfits than just being "different".

A lot of people on this board would probably disagree.

what, if anything, does Facebook show? (rhetorical question but feel free)

I know, it's weird.

I also find myself looking back on my early years of school and realizing "damn my friends were really really really mean to me" (like 10x more mean than the other kids at school)

It's our social deficits that offend NT's the most, not being "different". The "geeks" (I don't like that term) are all in with the populars over here, it's just the Aspies really that are excluded. I understand why, and I don't blame, our deficits make us difficult to be around, and it's not their job to babysit us

I've made friends with my old bullies over facebook, people who i would've hated with a passion, who are now incredibly nice and kind towards me. Just goes to show that people can change.

That's like kicking a blind girl. And then saying you did it because her blindness offended you. And then getting off scott free with that excuse for years. And then the blind girl goes and says that she understands why you were so offended by her blindness, goes on a huge rant on how blind people deserve to be kicked because they are blind, and makes friends with you.


...Now what is wrong with this picture?

just because people are friends with each other on facebook doesn't mean that they're actually "friends"...if u get what i mean.

I suppose that's how some people see it, depending on how the aspie behaves. But if showing a little tolerance feels like babysitting to someone, then they're the one with the problem. Keep your head up, guys.

Kids can be so cruel. When (most) people grow up they realize that picking on others is wrong, and become more accepting of those who are different or "not as good" as them.

The problem though, is being bullied as a kid can cause a person to become very bitter. I think that now that I am an adult I could make friends, but I am so bitter towards people I cannot control my hate towards them.

It is not a little tollerance. It would have required an overwhelming amount of tolerance to overlook the way we were.

You and most other people on this board are not aware of that fact.

Not saying they are friends by defintion. But Facebook uses the word "Friend" to describe people connected to their account. I am still suprised at the people on each others accounts.

Yes, the concept of "friending" doesn't necessarily mean you were friends; it generally means you simply know who the person is. The "idea" is to have the largest social networks so that you can get in touch with more and more people.

There's also an add-on capability called "aquaintances" because some people think the "friend" word is inaccurate and too strong in most cases.

If I casually know someone from college through contemporary times, I will usually friend them or accept their friend request. If they are someone from high school I wasn't a close friend with, I ignore the request.

a lot of people have hundreds and even thousands of friends on their list. It does not necessarily mean they are frequently in touch. The friends list, in my opinion, is more like an acknowledgement of the existance of each other.

If you request an add, I'm sure the other person would click OK, unless he really hated you.

I find the problem is that people tend to ignore me because very often it feels like we're not the same species.

I agree 100%.



I disagree. I had a friend with HFA. She was more literalistic even than me. Her one obsession was vampires, and she would talk about vampirism intensely for long periods. (admittedly I didn't mind that so much, as I was into vampires too). Guess what? She didn't bother me, and I didn't feel that I had to tolerate her. I valued her for who she was outside of her HFA. She was a highly loyal friend to me and a far better one than most NTs.

Sadly, she had what I strongly suspect was Dissociative Disorder along with her HFA. She believed she was actually a vampire, to the point that she would cut herself and drink her own blood, have "vamp outs" where she would tear at herself with her canines (I think these were actually autistic "meltdowns" or as I sometimes think of them "behavioural seizures). She also talked about finding a willing blood donor. After I gently confronted her with the fact that vampirism wasn't real and she probably had dissociative, she took offence and never talked to me again.

It would be interesting to find out if sometimes there was no contact at all besides putting each other on their friends list. They probably just view each others profile once in while.

Oh god, that's so true! I get so sick of how Hollywood (and society) generalize the nerds and the geeks as the good guys because that is just total B.S. The nerds and geeks were just as cruel to me as the jocks were (if not moreso)!

And just who is "we?" We might have Aspergers, but we're individuals, and whatever social deficits we have, they manifest differently for everyone. Not all of us are obnoxious, moronic, or infantile.