Do you ever feel this way??

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Do you ever feel that your friends dislike you??? I feel that often even though I only had lesser bad incidents and more good ones with that friend; I would always remember the bad ones mostly; I have this friend who has anger management problems, this friend is so nice with me if not angry or annoyed and I really like this friend and feel close to at times and enjoy talking to but I would always keep remembering that time when this friend got mad at me and choked me. I'm not sure whether I really hate this friend or if this friend really hates me, we were friends for a long time. Do you ever feel this way towards your friends??

Self-hate or hated by others? Not just autistics feel this.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and my mood fluctuates a lot, and this is one of the things that comes to mind.

I feel both self-hate and hated by others but when I'm around others I always feel hated by others.
My mood changes alot too, I will sometimes feel I'm the most liked person and sometimes that I'm the most hated person. Also in some other things like opinion, hating others or liking them; my mood changes alot.