Anger and Aspie's

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How do you deal with yours

The only I know how to describe it is that I feel like the Incredible Hulk and I just loose it, but after I come off of that "high" I feel tired and very apologetic. Is there a way of stopping "triggers" that set you off?

For me I really have to breathe. Also, there were a few moments where I was at my worst, that I picture in my head when I'm mad, because I never want to be like that again. If I picture myself like that, I usually will calm down before it escalates to that point. I guess picturing what I look like (even though I've never actually seen myself) when I'm mad, is a good motivation not to act like that. That may not work for everyone though.

Breathing, and focusing on calming myself. And sometimes, sheer force of will when it actually does get fully set off.

I don't get angry...and if I do, it is quite rare, and a very calm form of anger. People know when I'm angry, because it's the only time they really see me expressing a great deal of passion (outside of my areas of special interest).

Breathing through the anger and removing myself from the situation, if possible. Otherwise, most of the time I am cussing like a sailor (inside of my head).

A "short version" of how I have learned--with a personally assessed success rating of about 8.75 out of 10 with 10 being perfect success--over the years to overcome my own frighteningly powerful "anger potential"....

First learn to recognize the feeling of anger as anger (not "justified irritation," "righteous fury," etc), period. It took me a long time to understand the difference between raw anger and frustration, confusion, etc...and to realize that anger comes from within, NOT as a result of someone/something else/outside of me, regardless of how certain I am at the time otherwise! It might sound simplistic and obvious to someone not angry at the present moment, but, anger by itself isn't even the problem, per se--feelings are just...well...just...feelings. It is instead our (non)reactivity to anger (or other feelings) that is the problem, the first "thing" to conquer.

Then, once you recognize (or admit) what you are actually feeling you can train yourself to become detached from what you are feeling and instead observe that feeling in some kind of more neutral/objective way, like waiting for a wasp to fly away from you (rather than swat at it and piss it off) or for a cloud to pass and no longer block out the sun, etc. Rather than be held hostage to what we feel we learn to recognize/acknowledge the feeling without reacting to it unthinkingly or unskillfully.

Then...(it's not as much/hard as it sounds! )...you can go even further and cultivate the ability to examine the reasons for your anger (which, in my case, usually come down to some sort of perceived "assault" on my ego or my freedom, once it gets right down to it).

Last but not least, once you've worked your way through the first three parts of the process (which, all on their own, believe it or not, will give you about 80 percent of the success/peace that you seek!), you can "work" with your ego (or whatever)/self/others to minimize the accessibility/functionality of whatever your trigger mechanism(s) is/are.

The first 3 are actually not terribly difficult--although people/circumstances will sometimes make them seem so, ya just gotta slog on and not get distracted--but the last/fourth one is the one that takes a lifetime to do.

BUT...the good things are (a) most people never even realize that they need to do any of these things, so you start leaving people in the dust right away, (b) the next major obstacle for most people is the nonreactivity part--they get so caught up in "but I feel that I am justified/right in this feeling and the manner in which I am expressing it," that they can't see that they only thing forcing them to speak/act "angrily" is they themselves, and (c) no matter how "far" you get with these techniques you will notice instant results with whatever you accomplish compared to "what used to happen."

Try it--if you are diligent in your efforts and HONEST with yourself you will actually find things improving pretty much from the first minute..and then it becomes almost a game, waiting/riding it out, etc. Soon you go from "angry bitter overreactive spaz" that everyone hates/fears to the coolheaded, even-keeled, always seem like you are in quiet control person that people come to deeply respect, etc-- practically without trying after a while!

Seriously--it might sound like psychobabble, but it W-O-R-K-S!

Might I suggest a book: "What Color Is Your Mind?"

It gets into the parallels between Buddhist philosophy/techniques and psychological principles of behavior, emotionality, etc, WITHOUT getting "religious." Really, if you study Buddhist teaching and thought you find incredible overlap--really about 90 percent in terms of true core values/techniquestheories of mind/etc--between this 3 thousand year old system (which doesn't require you to believe a damn thing, just that you test/try everything for yourself and keep whatever you find to work for you!).

Try it--you'll see! This advice comes to you from a guy who used to go into damned-near-homicidal rages until he started to analyze (yep, I actually figured all of this out WITHOUT formal "Buddhist" training/teaching--which is a big part of the reason that I embrace so much of Buddhism now that I've actually studied it: because it is in almost perfect synch with the conclusions that I've come to about myself, life, people, etc, and I'm not talking about the spooky/mystical parts of it, either!) "things" and try them out.

I'll shut up....best of luck to you! Check out the book, though, or do some research online about Buddhism and anger management, etc.

What helped me with stress was becoming a hermit, more or less. That really helped a lot but not everyone has that option. My CNS is so delicate and high strung it has a hard time processing everything so hermitage is the only thing that helps.

My solution was to quit drinking. I am not a good drunk and would often break things when gripped by The Rage.

@KarmicPyxis: Jeez, I'd hate to see the LONG version

I can't supress my rage most of the time. Being a hermit works for me too. However, alcohol does not make me more aggressive but rather extremely happy and peaceful. When under the effect of alcohol all my obsessive hatred for people, cultures, societies etc just vanishes. I can't even see why I would be so full of hatred in the first place. Morphine/codeine and benzo have a similar effect. I just stop hating as soon as my nerves relax, and then I feel like I could give my worst enemy a hug.

Maybe I would have been able to function in society if I had been given benzo as a kid. Instead they gave me risperdal and things like that which made me almost psychotic, imagining the TV would attack me as well as having no stress tolerance and being oversensitive to everything. I became a nervous wreck from that medicine, which indicates I did not have the problems you treat with it in the first place.

I haven't found a way. The problem is that when I'm angry I never want to calm down. I hate feeling powerless and dismissed. Anger at least grabs people's attention. I can't help wanting people to know exactly how they make me feel.

Also, being told to calm down provokes me even more.

I wonder why so few aspies on here talk about their anger problems. Most people try to make it out as if they just get a "meltdown" and never attack others verbally or behave bad. The subject seems to make most uncomfortable. I used to be ashamed of my tantrums when others brought them up, which ironically could result in a new one, but I passed that phase.

I've had similar issues with neuroleptics but benzo's don't work for me either. I took clonazepam (a supposedly mild / long-acting benzo) for about four months. It worked great for a couple weeks but after that the effect started to wear off unless I continually increased the dose. Then when the dose got to a certain point I started having paradoxical side effects. I developed this weird tingly/antsy feeling that made me want to throw myself against the wall (I didn't literally throw myself against the wall but that's the best way I can describe the level of discomfort). I also started having weird numbness in my hands and feet and crying spells for no reason. Then when I quit I hardly slept and had constant anxiety for two more weeks due to the withdrawal symptoms.

I don't know. You seem to be the only person who's admitted to having an even worse issue than I do.

ditto.

Could not have expressed my anger(Temper tantrums) any better. They only last a short time and I could not understand why everyone else would stay "Pissed Off' with me.

I found an exceptional Clinical psychological who specialises is AS that helped me through this issue. Family does not walk on 'Egg shells' anymore. There is hope!! !! !!

I have 2 coping methods: cutting and guitar.
Guitar works better and better as I get better at playing decdent stuff without 2 much trouble.