Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but they all play them much better than you, so they're no longer fun for you because you never win.

I wish I had a full bottle of ibuprofen -- since we got 2' of snow in the past day + night and I've been shoveling, and still have more to shovel, and can't easily get to the drugstore, assuming it's even open!

Granted, but you drop your pills in the snow and can't find them.

I wish I could be invisible for a day?

Granted.... Now nobody could see you... and when you get a girlfriend, she wouldnt be able to see your lips and where to aim it?

I wish that I was drunk right now....

Granted, it lasts only a few minutes followed by a dreadful hangover until the same time tomorrow.

I wish I could fly

Granted, but since you have your eyes closed, welcome to a close relationship with the side of the nearest skyscraper.

I wish I were a dwarf for a day.

Granted. That's the day your favorite star -- I mean, your idol -- comes to town and you're too short to see through the crowd.

I wish my head would stop hurting.

Granted; everything else hurts.

I wish our compulsory overtime work gets canceled tomorrow.

Granted... now they they are going to make it the next day after that better luck next time...

I wish that I could watch channel 4's countdown

Granted ... you, too, are buried under 2 feet of snow, and your workplace is closed.

I wish I were 30 lbs lighter.

Granted; you now turn into a twig.

I wish I could stay at home and earn money without having to do anything.

Granted... Now you have become the laziest man on earth

I wish that I could make every member laugh

Granted whatever you say makes everyone laugh, even if it's just a letter.

I wish I could fix my spore game, I'm not sure about you but I want to see what happends to my Mr Zealotties!

Granted, your spore game is fixed. However Mr Zealotties dies due to a meteor impact.

I wish that there was a horse outside of this house right now.

Granted the horse comes and crashes through your house.

I wish for a singing English Speaking Hamster that doesn't need it's batteries changed

Granted.... Now you talking hamster will keep talking anf talking that its going to keep you up all night yapping away...

I wish that I today was tomorrow?

Granted, but due to your incomprehensible formulation, a loop back in the fabric of time occurs and you relive yesterday again and again infinitely forever.

I wish I had a banana.