Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it involves longer hours and a lot more work.

I wish my Facebook friends would respond to the messages I send them more quickly.

Granted, but Facebook overloads from all the activity and shuts down indefinitely.

I wish skype was it's own wormhole.

Granted, but the wormhole sucks everyone on Earth into the wormhole with it.

I wish to be able to concentrate on work this afternoon.

Granted, but due to the worm hole and the general theory of relativity, it's going to be a very long afternoon.

I wish for a spoon/fork/knife all in one utensil.

Granted but you will only be allowed to eat watery soup from this point forward.

I wish to wake up in the morning without finding I left my pc, lights and tv on all night.

Granted, you wake up blind and deaf.

I wish I was in Pennsylvania.

Granted but the state turns into transylvania.

I wish I could fly

Granted, you fly so high, you suffocate in space.

I wish I could have the courage to go on rollercoasters.

Granted, you ride the baby roller coaster until you throw up from boredom.

I wish it was simple.

It is simple. In fact, it's elementary, my dear Watson.

I wish there were no such thing as poison ivy.

Granted, that particular comic book character has been eradicated from literary history.

I wish I could go for a walk this afternoon.

Granted. Your car breaks down 10 miles from home, you get to take a nice long walk.

I wish I had defrosted something last night for tonight.

Granted, you licked all the frosting off the chocolate cake and now you have defrosted cake for dessert.

I wish I could find my over-sized umbrella!

Granted, you will find it on the roof, where it blew in the last rainstorm.

I wish I lived on a farm like Harry's.....

Granted, Your mom and daddie in a "car crash"

I wish my past was no longer rmemebered by any one but me.

Granted. No one can remember who you are.

I wish I had 1000 wishes.