What's Your Line?

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The Big Bang Theory, 7x01 - The Hofstadter Insufficiency
(Leonard is away on a boat in the North Sea... for science! Enjoying it a little too much for Penny's comfort, which is where Sheldon comes in.)

Penny: I can?t believe it. All this time I?ve been doing nothing but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is?
Sheldon: That you?re having to process your emotional pain without vodka?
Penny: No. Yeah. But you know what the second-worst part is? He does not miss me at all.
Sheldon: Allow me to comfort you. At least you?ve got your health.
Penny: Really? That, that?s it? That?s comforting?
Sheldon: Um, uh, in a hundred years, you?ll both be dead and it won?t matter?
Penny: No. Come on, you?re supposed to say, of course he misses you, the only reason he?s partying is to cover up his pain.
Sheldon: Oh, no, I don?t think that?s true at all.

You're welcome!!

Capt. Peacock: "Mr. Humphries, are you free?"

Mr. Humphries: "I'm free!"

"Are You Being Served?"

You'll never hit me! You'll never hit my tiny head! It's so tiny! I got a freakin, such a tiny little head!

~The Scout from Team Fortress 2

I can't believe you've never been electrocuted before.

Wednesday in The New Addams Family.

"What sort of madman would kill a dragon?"

Gomez in The New Addams Family.

"You want a piece of me, boy?"

Terran Marine in Starcraft.

Ben Stiller: "Yeah, I get it."

Robin Williams: "No you don't."

"Night at the Museum"

"I love Brian Piccolo. And I'd like all of you to love him too. And so tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love him."

Gale Sayers in Brian's Song.

The Thinker: "Boom----boom----fire power."

"Night at the Museum 2"

Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Guard: Who's the other one?
Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length
and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my
court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty 'alves of coconuts and you're bangin' 'em
together!
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land.
Through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: (somewhat taken aback) We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: This is a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the
plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers
to our land!
Guard: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Guard: (indcredulous) What, a swallow, carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of
weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could *not* carry a one-pound
coconut!
Arthur: (exasperated)
Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur
from the court of Camelot is here!

(pause)

Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to
beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

Arthur: Please!
Guard: (patiently) Am I right.
Arthur: I'm not interested!

( A second guard appears on the rampart. )

G2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
G1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's
my point.
G2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: (extremely exasperated) Will you ask your master if he wants to join
my court at Camelot!!

(pause)

G1: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
G2: Oh yeah...

(Arthur and Patsy give up and trot away)

G1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
G2: Wait a minute! Supposing *two* swallows carried it together!
G1: Nooo..... They'd have to have it on a line...
G2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
G1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
G2: Well, why not?

Is that from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?

Narrator: "Meanwhile, not more than two swallow's flights away, Arthur and Bedivere had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight away, obviously. There were more than two laden swallow's flights away, four really, if they had the coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking, and dragging the coconut-"

Army: "Get on with it!"

Narrator: "And now on to scene 24. A smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers a vital clue, and in which there aren't any swallows, though I think you can hear a starling-" (Exclaims and silence)

Yep. Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Sheldon: "Suck it, Zachary Quinto!!"

"The Big Bang Theory"

"Fellow Terrans, I come to you in the wake of recent events to issue a call to reason. Let no human deny the perils of our time. While we battle one another, divided by the petty strife of our common history, the tide of a greater conflict is turning against us, threatening to destroy all that we have accomplished. It is time for us as nations and as individuals to set aside our long-standing feuds and unite! The tides of an unwinnable war are upon us, and we must seek refuge upon higher ground, lest we be swept away by the flood.

The Confederacy is no more. Whatever semblance of unity and protection it once provided is a phantom; a memory. With our enemies left unchecked, who will you turn to for protection? The devastation brought by the alien invaders is self-evident. We have seen our homes and communities destroyed by the calculated blows of the Protoss. We have seen first-hand our friends and loved ones consumed by the nightmarish Zerg. Unprecedented and unimaginable though they may be, these are the signs of our time.

The time has come, my fellow Terrans, to rally to a new banner. In unity lies strength; already many of the dissident factions have joined us. Out of the many, we shall forge an indivisible whole, capitulating only to a single throne. And from that throne, I shall watch over you!

From this day forward, let no human make war upon any other human. Let no Terran agency conspire against this new beginning. And let no man consort with alien powers. And to all the enemies of humanity, seek not to bar our way, for we shall win through, no matter the cost!"

Arcturus Mengsk in Starcraft.

Snowman: "They live right over there----the first castle on the left. The ONLY castle on the left".

"Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

"He is you, your opposite, your negative, the result of the equation trying to balance itself out."

Oracle to Neo The Matrix Revolutions.