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cruimh_shionnachain
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18 Apr 2007, 1:38 pm

B.
A can only just cause problems.


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Last edited by cruimh_shionnachain on 19 Apr 2007, 6:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Juliette
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18 Apr 2007, 6:13 pm

A combination of A(Marilyn needs to release pent up anger over her parent's senseless murders... Scythe is a convenient target, having broken into her home) and C(character development time for Scythe).



KBABZ
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18 Apr 2007, 6:30 pm

Juliette wrote:
A combination of A(Marilyn needs to release pent up anger over her parent's senseless murders... Scythe is a convenient target, having broken into her home) and C(character development time for Scythe).

Ahh, I love thought-out answers!


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RainSong
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19 Apr 2007, 8:15 pm

A and C kind of go along together. I'd pick A, however, as the predominant (completely misspelled, whatever) answer.


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20 Apr 2007, 1:01 am

"Why?" she asked
"Because I was told to." Scythe said
"How can that be a viable excuse?" Marilyn said
"Because that's why."
"Oh, so you break into my house because someone told you to?!"
"No, I broke into their house because someone paid me to."
"What?!" Marilyn couldn't believe this. "What'd you steal?!"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?! You mean you broke into my house and you stole nothing?!"
"Well, I did take a few shards of the broken glass from your window."
"Why?!"
"I'm not telling you that."
"So why'd you break into it?!" Scythe was about to answer when Marilyn said "And when?!"
"Last night. You and your parents went out and I broke in and found what I was paid to find."
"Which was what?!"
"The trapdoor. I was paid to find the trapdoor."
"And you knew about that killer?!"
"No, I didn't. I'm sorry about that."
"How much were you paid?"
"About $600" (NZ, Americans will have to half it, British will have to divide by three to make it pounds)
"$600?!" Marilyn stopped, not knowing what to say next.
"So that's it is it? Is that how you earn your money?"
"It's the only way!" Scythe said "I have a terrible time finding jobs, the only ones I can do are ones of this sort."
"Why do you have a hard time finding jobs?" Marilyn was still wound up, but was calming down slowly as the conversation bore on.
"Because I had a crap education!" Scythe said. She hated giving away any personal information like this. "Nearly ALL of the jobs I need require some sort of prior education. I say I taught myself, and they say "Do you have a degree?" and I say "No" and then I'm kicked out! Rinse and repeat for the entirety of my life!" Scythe paused for a bit and said "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get packing. Got a busy day going into the house of the person who hates me." And so she got up and walked off.

Any good?
A) Excellent!
B) Pretty good
C) Fair
D) Crap

EDIT: Didn't notice a big patch of bold text. Fixed!


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I was sad when I found that she left
But then I found
That I could speak to her,
In a way
And sadness turned to comfort
We all go there


Last edited by KBABZ on 20 Apr 2007, 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Juliette
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20 Apr 2007, 9:05 am

B - Pretty good!! Dialogue flowed very naturally. An exciting writer keeps you wondering what's round the next corner - you're doing that. Lead on...



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20 Apr 2007, 10:17 am

NOTE: You can still vote for the previous poll, I just know where to go from here

And so the gang of six made their way to Marilyn's house. Cars don't exist in this realm so getting to her place would be more than you'd be used to if you take a car. Koise, third in the line, was reviewing the meeting he had had. He noticed that Scythe never really said much, but least so was Kipo. In fact she hardly should have been at the meeting in Koise's view.

The only other two who were able to carry something were Scythe and Marilyn, but it wasn't really much at all apart from drinks and snacks. Koise noted how Marilyn seemed unaffected by her recent ordeal, but he had a feeling that she was covering her feelings up for some reason. No-one really spoke except Bob and Booger, who chatted about anything, from swords to breakfast (which was sandwiches).

Finally they reached the house. It was a big place, two stories high, and looked as if the rooms inside were very spacious. Koise knocked on the door, before remembering that no-one was inside. He got queer looks by the others for this. He tried opening it, but turning the knob became more of a wrestle than anything else. Scythe made her way around and disappeared. Suddenly the door opened and Koise flew in. Scythe had opened it from the other side.
"How'd you do that?" Koise asked as he got himself up.
"I went in through the window I broke." she said. Marilyn didn't enjoy the unintentional joke.
"Okay," Bob said "So where is this trapdoor?"
"Follow me." Scythe said. Her voice didn't seem concerned at all about anything at all. She would seem calm and collected if she hadn't had that "I don't really care about any of this" feel in her voice.
Scythe took them through various rooms in the house. Everything there was expensive and glamorous. Koise half-expected giant portraits of persons in suits or dresses to be up on the wall. The whole house had a Victorian feel through out everything: tables, chairs, lights, desks, even the fishbowl looked Victorian in it's own little way. Marilyn knew that she was more modernistic than the house suggested she should be. All the various ornaments were purely there for sentimental reasons, and had been acquired or bought at various auctions, if they hadn't already originated in the house from years ago. Her own room was actually the only one that was out of the theme the rest of the house had.

Finally Scythe led them into the living room.
"So where is it?" Booger asked.
"Under here." she said, pulling away a rug, revealing the door, which was about the right size for a person to go in.
"Why is it always under a rug...?" Booger said to himself. Koise agreed with this, if he needed to find a secret entrance in a house, one of the first things he did was go to the living room and take away the rug.
"Well, let's go in." Bob said. Koise went in first and lit his staff to act as a guide. Booger went in, followed by Bob, then Marilyn, and then Scythe. Kipo however, was a bit more difficult.
"Kipo, aren't you coming?" Koise asked
"I do not want to go in." she said.
"Why not?"
"Because I am scared."
"Of what?"
"I do not know."
Koise knew how to handle these situations.
"Is it because you think something bad will happen when you go in?"
"Yes."
"Kipo, don't worry, We'll look after you. Booger's a good swordsman-"
"Great" Booger corrected
"-and I'm armed with a magical staff. Not much would want to take us on."
Kipo said nothing.
Did you expect you would go through this when you said yes to me back in the forest?"
"No, I did not."
"Well, neither did I, and yet I'm going through with it." Koise paused so Kipo could say something. "Maybe we'll find something you like inside. Would you like to find out?"
"I guess I do."
"Well, you're not going to find out until you come with us." Another pause. "If you don't come, then you'll have to wait outside for us."
Kipo considered this. "Okay," she said, "I am coming." And so she slipped in too.

Koise then turned his staff to reveal the path.

What is it like?
A) Like a cave
B) Like an underground tomb (blocks make up the wall and pathway with lit torches on the walls)
C) Like an underground cellar


_________________
I was sad when I found that she left
But then I found
That I could speak to her,
In a way
And sadness turned to comfort
We all go there


Last edited by KBABZ on 23 Apr 2007, 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

KBABZ
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20 Apr 2007, 11:23 am

Juliette wrote:
An exciting writer keeps you wondering what's round the next corner - you're doing that.

Even though I have no idea how I'm doing it!


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And sadness turned to comfort
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20 Apr 2007, 11:49 am

A&A



RainSong
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20 Apr 2007, 6:29 pm

B for both. :)

(Inventor, did you know that AA is some sort of term for volcano lava? Just thought I'd point that out (because I'm random and sugar high) since it's the random word of the day and you kinda/sorta used it. :))


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Juliette
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20 Apr 2007, 6:40 pm

KBABZ wrote:
Even though I have no idea how I'm doing it!


Spoken like a true Aspie :)
Most recent installment was excellent. I'll go with B.



cruimh_shionnachain
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21 Apr 2007, 7:21 pm

First one, A.
Second one, B.


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KBABZ
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21 Apr 2007, 10:22 pm

B it is!

As the team (of sorts) walked their way in, the path they took was reminiscent of a sort of tomb. The floor, walls and paths were all made of hard clay blocks like the Egyptian Pyramids were, and there were a few lit torches dotted here and there for light. Koise still used his staff as it was much more effective than the flames provided. He always came across these inexplicably lit torches in tomb-like passageways, and he came to the conclusion that it was due to magic, which he often used as an excuse for anything he didn't know that was related to UFOs or religion.

The path sloped up and down at regular intervals, but it never curved, it was always a sharp angle, and any turns they made did not curve either. As they went deeper in the torches that were lit became less and less frequent, until there was literally nothing providing any light apart from Koise's staff. They had been traveling for at least half an hour, and nobody had spoken since they went inside. Finally Koise spoke up.
"So I'm assuming," he said to Scythe, "That you never explored this place fully?"
"No, I only opened the door, had a look inside and that was it."
"So you had no idea how long this would go for?"
"I didn't even know this was in it. I could've thought it was a room buried with treasure."

No more talk came for another fifteen minutes, before Koise's staff began to flicker like a dying lightbulb. Koise shook it a bit (this doesn't turn it off, a single jolt does that), but this didn't help and it went out, and it all went pitch black.
"Damn!" Koise said, "I need new batteries.
"Batteries?" Bob said
"Yeah, these things usually run on batteries, but I've found normal ones work just as well. Except for Eveready ones."
"I've got a few." Marilyn said "How many do you need, and what size?"
"Two C's."
"Got 'em!" Marilyn said, and she searched her little bag. It wasn't a backpack, more like a cloth or some sort of fabric in a sock about the size of a desk fan with some strings at the top to close the gap. [I forgot to mention this in the previous portion, sorry about that]
"Found th-no, I haven't..." she said, putting away what she though she found.
"What'd you find instead?" Booger asked.
"It's a bit embarrassing."
"What was it?"
"It was my... arh, it begins with T and only women need them."
It didn't take long for Booger to realize what they were and wish he never asked.
"Okay, now I really have them." she said, and searched for Koise in the dark. Finally she found him, and felt around for his arms and then pawed her way down them to find his hands. As she put her hands into his, for a split second it felt comforting, but it didn't last long as Koise pulled them away so he could change the batteries. He was soon finished and they were back on their way.

After more walking, they finally found the end of the walkway.

What's it like?
A) It's a small room with a pedestal in it holding an item
B) It's a small cave (not like a tomb) with a chest in it
C) It's just an abrupt end with a hole in the roof letting a shaft of light shine down on something on the floor.


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I was sad when I found that she left
But then I found
That I could speak to her,
In a way
And sadness turned to comfort
We all go there


xboxboy247
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21 Apr 2007, 11:46 pm

I'll say T-rex!


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KBABZ
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22 Apr 2007, 2:35 am

xboxboy247 wrote:
I'll say T-rex!

Actual answers please! You can only choose A, B or C.


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I was sad when I found that she left
But then I found
That I could speak to her,
In a way
And sadness turned to comfort
We all go there


RainSong
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22 Apr 2007, 8:28 am

KBABZ wrote:
xboxboy247 wrote:
I'll say T-rex!

Actual answers please! You can only choose A, B or C.


I think he stopped reading at the first page. T-rex is one of the answers on the last poll on that page.

I'll choose C.


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