PRIZE MACHINE

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You receive a limp handshake.

*inserts dog tags*

You get called up to fight in Iraq.

*inserts head into machine*

You get called up to negotiate in Afghanistan. 1st step: figure out who to negotiate with?

*inserts a quarter*

Congratulations you have won the Nigerian lottery. You will be contacted shortly by email with instructions on how to collect your winnings.

*inserts a gold brick*

You receive a receipt.

*inserts an IOU*

You win a pass book and PIN for an empty bank account.

*inserts pen in holder*

You receive ink all splattered down your shirt.

*inserts dry cleaning bill*

You win the services of dry cleaning bill`s brother bert who will attend to your suits and trousers.

*inserts thin plastic bag*

Wins the corpse of Michael Jackson.


*Inserts a vial of sulphuric acid*

You receive a vial of Nitric acid and a bottle of glycerine for sore throats. (Have fun )

*inserts police cordon around your house*

You win a bag of police horse manure for your rose garden

*inserts uniform button*

You win a sewing needle and thread.

*inserts McDonalds quarter pounder*

You receive a copy of "Super Size Me".

*inserts a carrot*

The machine makes some strange sounds then offers you a cigarette.

*inserts a banana*

A chimpanzee pops out and throws poo at you.

*inserts a ticking time bomb*

The machine explodes with rage.

*finds the bits of machine and reassembles it. Inserts a get well soon card*