PRIZE MACHINE

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The machine rumbles with a high, but decreasing frequency. A halo pops up over the machine and it begins to ascend on toward eternity. Rays of light shine through the clouds as the machine slowly lifts higher and higher. Evoking a most profound feeling of awe and beauty, the scene is prize enough. Then a meteor hurtles down from the sky, rams through the ascending machine as if they were a bowling ball and a card house, and crashes down upon the earth with a tremor. You go over to inspect the glowing meteorite. Steaming, a crack suddenly forms, spewing forth a beam of light. More cracks form until the meteor splits open. There, you see a radiant deity, an omnipotent epiphany. It is... another machine.

*Inserts Men in Black universe marble"

You get a pair of black sunglasses and a mind wipe.

*inserts the last Golden Ticket*

You receive a standing ovation.

*inserts a subway token*

You receive a $5 foot long.

*inserts Ironman*

You receive a magnetic personality.


*inserts cast-iron skillet*

You receive a tin skillet

*Inserts the antidote*

You're cured of male pattern baldness


*inserts a nanobot*

The machine grabs you and makes you part of the hive mind. You will henceforth be known as 6 of 5, The Scottish spare bit.

*inserts Borg implants*

You receive a one-way ticket to the Unicomplex.

*inserts nanoprobe*

Machine responds "Ouch! Watch where you are sticking that thing!"

*inserts a manually sequenced strand of DNA*

You receive a hybrid mutation of ME!

*inserts U-235*

The machine starts being very critical.

*inserts some plutonium*

You receive a "friendly" visit from the FBI, the CIA, and the IAEA.

*inserts a press pass*

You receive inside information about a government conspiracy to steal everyone's chocolate chip cookies.

*inserts a conspiracy theory*

The Prize Machine has gone to rehab, please use this other machine temporarily.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq8WAo5nMZM&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

*inserts coin*

The replacement machine has packed in. Fortunately the old one is now out of rehab. So...

*inserts quarter*