Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. All the dice have a bulge on one side.

I wish I will use my time effectively.

Granted. You die in five minutes, but the time was spent effectively.

I wish for several tonnes of slag.

Granted - and the environmental bureau fines you more than you could make in your lifetime for having a toxic dump site.

I wish I never got sick again.

You will never get sick again but your current sickness never goes away and gets significantly worse

I wish to live in the 60's

Granted!

A.D. 60 is a little rough, though. Enjoy the Roman Empire and unfettered cholera!

I wish I was a natural blond.

you didn't make a wish, but i'll grant you a secret one

I wish for true love

Granted - s/he truly loves someone else.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, you do, straight into a wall.

I wish I could wiggle my ears

[My profanity filter thought slag was something other than glassy waste and replaced it with three asterisks!? ]

Granted. People fear you now.

I wish for a mattock.

Granted a hitman plants a mattock into your side.

I wish I would know what kevinjh's wishes are without having to google them.

Granted.

I wish for something accessible through Bing but not Google.

Granted - Bill Gates forces you to use bis software for the rest of your life.

I wish the world wasn't so shallow and idiotic.

Granted. It is deep and full of pitfalls set by clever people and things.

I wish for three pounds of aluminum.

Granted. Three pounds of aluminum drop from the sky onto your unprotected head.

I wish that I will stop having random obsessions.

Granted. They are now predictable and less chaotic but more intense.

I wish for a well-forged aluminum bronze sundial.

Granted, but have to wear it as a watch.

I wish to get rid of my depression.