Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you're allergic to the material and your feet swell up until you can't walk.

I wish I didn't have to eat to survive.

Granted. You are now on a liquid diet and have to drink lots of it.

I wish politicians received a shock every time they lie and a half shock every time they tell a half truth.

Granted, but the shock paralyzes them so much that they can neither tell lies nor truths after a short period of time.

I wish that Adele's voice, if it hasn't already, will return to its original greatness. I love her voice.

Granted. But it goes there without her, so people just hear a disembodied voice.

I wish everyone could have a happy childhood.

Granted - They will all start life off as one of Snow White's dwarfs.

I wish for all telemarketing calls be redirected to the owners of those companies doing the calling.

Granted, but they decide to change to just going up to your house and bombarding it with advertisers.

I wish that twenty-five High Elves, fifty Wood Elves, and ten Drow appeared in the city of New York.

Granted, but no one notices.

I wish temperature and humidity could never get within 40 points of each other.

Granted. Half the world drowns in slush. The other half toasts to a cinder.

I wish public education weren't so awful and screwed up.

Granted. There is no longer public education.

I wish strobe lights would stop flickering.

Granted. Strobe lights no longer flicker, but they emit a high pitched buzzing noise which is twice as annoying.

I wish people didn't take themselves so seriously all the time.

Granted, but now nobody does anything, and everybody starves.

I wish that I had a loyal follower.

Granted, but you may tire before the hyena.

I wish I had a million wishes.

Granted, but they're limited to wishing about other people, so you cannot benefit from any of your wishes directly.

I wish that I could FLY.

Granted, but you realize that it is drugs-while midair.

I wish that Jar-Jar Binks, Wesley Crusher, and Adric appeared in your house.

Granted, but you will forever see bad movies

I wish gossiping was illegal at workplaces.

Granted. But now it's required as the only way of communicating allowed anywhere else.

I wish I could feel well rested when I wake up in the morning.