Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The worlds largest Cheeseburger all 2000+ pounds of it lands on you crushing you to death.

I wish the muslims would stop hating.

granted- they kill all non-muslims

i wish tallyman doesn't die from the cheeseburger

Granted. Time rewinds itself and the cheeseburger flies off of him and lands on you, killing you. And the muslims did not kill all the non muslims.
I wish the muslims would stop hating without killing anybody.

Granted. But all the other haters are happy to take up the slack, so everybody gets killed anyway.

I wish all people were truly trustworthy.

Granted, People are still jerks, but they're open about it. However, they're also much more aggressive about it which ends up being much more annoying.

I wish for a job I could do over the internet.

Granted but then you find without even searching for it the new secret code of the French Bank and you're in trouble for two years.

I wish big money. I mean: real BIG money.

Granted. You are arrested for counterfeiting by using currency larger than regulation size.

I wish trees could walk.

Granted, but they only walk in your house.



I wish i owned a country

Granted, but now it's overpopulated and with no resources.

I wish my brother's cat would stop headbutting me...

Granted, but your brother gets a dog and the dog bites your legs.

I wish I was in Florida again.

Granted. You're now a ninety-seven-year-old retired lady.

I wish my shoulders didn't get sore while I sat at my computer.

Granted. Now everything but your shoulders gets sore when you sit at your computer.

I wish somebody would make me a cup of mint tea.

Granted. Medusa makes you a cup of mint tea and (not knowing it's her) you look up at her face as she's handing it to you.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted. You wished for a volcano and it appears from the bottom of your house. So you have no choice but to live somewhere else and take refuge.

I wish to be financially secured.

Granted, you are secured to the side of a 3000 foot vertical cliff by your finatial statment.


I wish school was illegal

Granted. It incurs the death penalty, and there's no statute of limitations on it. Everybody who's ever gone to school, in any form, for any length of time, must now die.

I wish I could get more done in a day.