Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! You are now stuck as a dragon in a world with another species that totally focuses on draconian genocide.

I wish my toenails weren't so ugly (have fun!)

Granted. I cut off all your toes. With a chainsaw. Without allowing you to having any painkillers or anesthetic of any kind.

I wish for a cure to insomnia

Granted. The cure for insomnia is being impaled on a 15th century polearm.

I wish for the power to control water.

Granted. You have partial control of water, but it eventually overpowers you, and you drown.

I wish I would never argue again with my mom.

Granted. You now do everything she says, without question, and you agree with all her opinions, without any challenge to them. You can no longer think for yourself at all. Ever.

I wish I weren't having an allergic reaction.

Granted. You have a terminal illness.

Granted. You have no privacy as emimei is watching your every move.

I wish for a 5-leaf clover.

Granted. You get a 5-way cloverleaf highway interchange built right by your bedroom window.

I wish for my preferred candidate to get elected this November.

Granted! Your preferred candidate gets elected via election fraud. It takes two years for anyone to notice. By then, it's too late.

I wish I didn't have to pay attention.

Granted. Since you're not paying attention, you don't notice me helping myself to everything you own.

I wish I had a nice, easy way to sell all this stuff I just picked up for a big profit, without in any way getting in trouble for having obtained said stuff through illegal, illicit, or immoral means.

Granted, but your customers are not satisfied with their purchase and send an organized complaint in hail of gunfire form.

I wish for a tap-dancing tapir. (Brazilian, not malaysian!)

Granted, but it requires three portions of caviar a day, a four poster bed to lie in every night and an outing to a ballroom every Friday night. A demanding tap-dancing tapir, to be sure. (It's still Brazilian though).

I wish for a waltzing cheetah.

Granted. The waltzing cheetah decides you look quite delicious. You are now being digested as we speak.

I wish I was responsible enough for a (domesticated!) kitty.

granted but a lion comes in and eats it because you werent responsible enough to handle the NON domesticated cat!

I wish to have a giant wheelchair harness on my wheelchair that i can command to get as tight as i want it to and or as warm as i want it to by thoughts alone

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Granted. But it soon gets a mind of its own, gets tired of taking orders, and begins to strangle and burn you as a way of agitating for its rights. You now must negotiate with it for proper wages, hours, time off, raises, and benefits. You have great difficulty explaining why it doesn't need dental included in its insurance plan. It begins to form a union with other harnesses, with whom it goes on strike. Your neighbors watch, perplexed, as they hang around on your front lawn, holding signs. Good luck!

I wish we could get new windows for the house before winter sets in.

Granted, but the windows are defective and, when the temperature changes, they explode and shatter into dozens of tiny pieces.

I wish for an end to the corruption of wishes.