Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The first thing you destroy is your mind.

I wish I could see far into the future.

Granted, but it is so far advanced, you go mad just thinking about it.

I wish a tree of Jello would fall on my house!

Granted. It was a giant tree for the jello crashes through your roof and ceiling, leaving a lagre slippery mess on your floor.

I wish to safely reverse time at will.

Granted. Oops... you reverse it back too far to a time before you were born and then you cease to exist.

I wish I was the first 14 year old girl president of the United States

Granted. You are unanimously elected president at the age of 14. However, due to a diplomatic mess-up, you accidentally start world war 3

I wish I could go on vacation to Italy

Granted. But remember that WWIII you caused BambooSun to start? It starts while you're in Italy. All movement in and out of the country is immediately halted. Why, you ask? Because Italy is the epicentre of the fighting.

I wish I could restore the peace which has been disrupted by WWIII getting started.

Granted. You restore it by detonating a nuke powerful enough to wipe out humanity for good

I wish I could control the Earth’s rotation at will.

Granted. Controlling it requires so much of your concentration that you ignore everything else, including eating. Within a week you cease to exist and everything is back to normal.

I wish I could paint a masterpiece more famous than Mona Lisa.

Granted. You achieved instant world-wide fame by painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa and are now sitting in prison for it.

I wish the local grocery store would carry a wider variety of products.

Granted. They added so much that the store is now 20 acres inside. Plus the store layout mow requires a minimum 3-mile trek to complete your shopping.

I wish to eliminate all caste systems, whether recognized or hidden.

Granted. Every social living being dies, including humans, of course.

I wish the stars—other than the Sun—could be seen at daytime.

Granted. For the stars to be visible in the daytime they would need to be within such close proximity to the Earth that they would cause a mass extinction event.

I wish Pluto would be reinstated as a planet.

Granted. We obliterate each individual trans-Neptunian object in the Solar System, except for Pluto and its moons, and including Eris. We destroy Ceres, Vesta, Juno and Pallas, too, so nothing is big enough to challenge Pluto’s restored status. Of course, a few stray chunks of rock and ice bump into the Earth, ending humanity.

I wish I had three eyes.

Granted. But to do so you must forfeit your mouth. Being unable to eat and speak, you last only a week before ceasing to exist.

I wish I was able to transform matter into energy and back again using only my thoughts.

Granted. Whenever you think of sex, you will transform matter into energy. Whenever you think of the number 1,079,513,984,154,643,127 you will transform energy into matter. It shouldn't take long until there is no more matter.

I wish I could take a year long trip to a year long road trip in the country or countries of my choice, and paid for entirely, of course, by whoever grants the wish.

Granted. But since I'm only 14, I'm broke and uncreditworthy, so I use your credit card to pay. Enjoy!! !

I wish I could control all the wild animals on the Earth.