Corrupt A Wish

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How about:
There is a wonderful girl who wants to be your girlfriend, but her boyfriend is a pro football player.


I wish I had a Segway.


Sylkat

granted- but only seconds before she stabs you, you realize just how crazy she is

I wish I had got coffee yesterday so I didn't have to deal with hazelnut???

granted- the Segway is you leaving(and never returning)

I wish for good coffee still

Fine, fine, you get your coffee, but it is the kind that they make from coffee beans that have been removed from animal poop.

(NOT making that up, by the way!)

I want a tricycle!


Sylkat

(I've heard of that coffee bean. It's gross!)

Granted. But the tricycle is taller than the Empire State building so it's a bit difficult to ride.

I want to win Lotto this week, so I can buy a real, gorgeous, clean house.

Right then, you get your house, but it is at the bottom of the ocean with the rest of Atlantis!


I want a lovely aquarium!


Sylkat

All I could find was this ordinary aquarium. But you're rather lovely, so I chuck you in it. Wish granted.

I wish that Australia didn't have any venomous animals.

Granted, but that's because the sharks around Australia became land sharks and ate all the venomous animals on the island...along with everything else!

I wish I could live 1,000 years.

Wish granted but sadly as time would pass by into the future, then you'd be hold captive by a bunch of robo-zombie-ninjas who will repetitively whip you with the earphones of an ipod and forever you'll be in agony with all of the excruciating pain you'd be experiencing! Oh my!

I wish I had the full ability to be able to understand the basics of programming and build my own software!

Granted, but the first program you read the code for is actually brain virus software, and it reformats your brain (but not before it steals all your passwords).

I wish I was married.

Granted, but it only lasts for one day.

I wish I had a dog.

Granted, but it’s a big and hungry dog. It eats you.

I wish I could write in the sky.

Granted, but instead of a plane, you have only a parachute, and a marker, and no one can see what you write.

I wish I had a cat.

Here's your dog.

His name is Cujo.

Enjoy.


I wish I had a brand new set of flannel sheets.


Sylkat

Granted, but they are just a few inches short of your bed size, and trying to put the sheets on your bed frustrates you so much you can't sleep.

I wish I had a cat.

Granted. But it eats your popsicle all up.

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